Why I don’t like to finish what I’ve started.
Personal Journey
These posts are more personal in nature. I discuss my ongoing goal to be happy and the various steps forward or backwards along the way. Although this isn’t specifically about my drug life, they are a part of my journey so they are mentioned in many posts.
I admit it. I’m brain blocked
I distraction blog written when I’m supposed to be doing something else about distractions when I’m supposed to be doing something else.
My flirty truth
An attempted describing why I suck at phone sex
Staircase thoughts and life changes
A blog post about my move to BC that was supposed to be about basement apartments
Special Interests
The realization I’m autistic
Decision Time. 2:34am
A 3am blog about what happens next. 4am, 5am. Are we set for a new music release, or work?
I listened to one of the early AI podcasts
A spontaneous life evaluation post. The kind I often have in January. Reflect on things I’m not planning on changing
The day in review
They should call it content new year. The world is to hard to expect a whole happy new year.
It’s subtle but it’s starting
New year’s Day recap at 930am
Monday the 22nd
A first thing in the morning reflection blog.
Rough Sleep. Tis the season
A mood hijacked blog because I forgot the dream I was going to record again.
Keeping busy – panic
Instead of being busy, I blog about not being busy.
Dear diary: The temptation
I confess the thought dud cross my mind to save my garbage and go down that road of obsessive collecting again.
Hair ,-The nightmare.
A deep and personal blog written as soon as I woke up today. Life perspective.
Really bad Jeff day
That time I built on hard work.
Juggling for dollars
I hated being poor but I really hate being poor when other people are paying the difference.
My legacy is self ruining
That escalated quickly. A 5am confessional.
Six false starts.
The secret blog revealed. Warning. Not for the faint of heart.
Looping Moods
The loops of my life
Autistic User Manual
Late night blog post that should have been longer but I lost the energy halfway through. The original idea was I wanted to talk about the concept of creating a user manual for autistic people and their friends and family.
Intelligent sadness: fomo2
Am I smart or not.
Six two
Today is a good day. Why write it any other day?
Thanksgiving dinner
A blog it doesn’t mention Thanksgiving dinner and then an unrelated music video that I wrote today about coming clean and admitting my drug habit so that I can share this blog with more people. Hidden away in an unrelated post so that I have an out when I don’t do that.
My first liver spot!
A story about life’s mood swings and wasted worry.
Whoosh, it’s Friday
I've been trying to do things that are somewhat memorable each day so that when I look back the week didn't go by without anything to make it stand out from the previous week. I needed this month to go by quicker than the others because I had no money, and it was always stressful to ask for borrowed money, even though I knew I had $600 coming in from the Canada pension any day now. Any day now,...
Yet another unfinished work self defined
An unfinished song about not finishing things
Do I want an audience?
Afraid to be famous is a lie to protect my confidence. What if I’m wrong.
Suno.ai made me cry.
The song that inspired the blog inspired by tears of sadness at the loss of yet another chicken.
Other People’s Perspective
A review of a review of me
My brain approved a sabotage
I slept all day yesterday and missed the evening chores
I’m unofficially old today
Live blogging from the waiting room.
It was easier empathically
I forgot I had some weed 2 hours ago. Edibles. They seem to have hoit me while I was typing and I on;y remembered later.
Talking about me
A Google Notebook LLM recording with claymation characters all about me, me, me.
Gloom week
I tend to run low or out of everything at once, usually towards the final days of the month. The 22nd is when my big payment for the hosting server is due and I'm often out of food, chocolate and occasionally drugs. I have $410 coming in next week so it'll be close. I'm out of chocolate and backup chocolate and emergency chocolate. I've got nothing to munch on and keep my mouth moist. Being out...
My Manual. Update x of z
An obvious attempt at stalling for time before I either begin work, or face that adhd paralasis that can be used as a recognized reason to not start the task. I hate all options today.
The universe gives me an excuse
A spontanious blog about my version of God
I’m more AI than it is human
This was voice translated and not punctuated correctly or proofreading anyway. Or proofread in any way. Or proof read in any way. it continues concepts from the previous post
The rock needs pushing.
At the moment I have just finished writing this but without my spelling or grammar being checked, I am very proud of this. I hope that joy is not crushed by the edit that comes after the adreneline fades.
4 am to 6am
It’s weird all the story bitmojis are gone. In today’s world of mass storage possibilities, to remove our options of choice seems like an intentional thing. No stories? That is tragic. I’m all about the story.
Story Landmarks
A blog of hope and eventually a blog out joy crushing depression that turns back around in the end. Another life story.
My Ted Talk variant. Stories
An impromptu Jeff Talk I had planned to make a video.
The story of my stories
Truth isn’t as important as the story and the sooner you learn that the more power you have to control yours. Use it for good and not evil.
Sunday morning mood swings up up and away
The drug is having less effect these days so I have a bit of increased anxiety that doesn't really go away. Part of it is because August is the third August and I still have the overall feeling I am a dissapointment not pulling my weight and an irritating drain on the moods of the people who live upstairs and provide me with this place to live. I eat their bread and ice cream and fake cheese so...
The Home Office
The new home office design.
July 2nd Day 1. Hay Season
My mental recap of the premier of season two. Hay days on the farm.
Was that today?
Forgetting what day it is has become quite common since I moved to the farm and I don't leave the grounds very often so every day is the same. Today I had to stop and ask myself, I did my chores this morning right? Yes. I have only one real task every day and it's early morning with built in alarms and reminder so it gets done but that doesn't mean I remember doing it. It's like a hypnosis...
Don’t bring me down
A sadness message after frustrating my sister in a way that made me think about my life being trapped here against their will.
Thinking is so 2010
AI is replacing the lazy too
I think it’s Saturday
It is,but I had to look. My life is trying to sneak some changes into my routine. Some doubt between the highs has me wondering whether the side effects of my drug use are finally here, or at least nearing. So then I smoke some more and the ignorant bliss replaces any worry. So I admit I have become somewhat dependant on the unawareness. Today I looked online to read I might have some dreadful...
First Draft Biography – Part two. The gift of a story
A continuation of my life story conversation with Chat GPT. Writing in first person isn't as helpful to get thigs out of me comparred to the chat we had yesterday. The two person (or one person and ai) seems to be a valuable way for me to express myself, and I choose to believe your...
Question to the influencers
A commentary on my fear of fame accompanied by an Old Man talking video.
Ideas I wish I could start and abandon
Some of the things that would be easy to do but are easier to not do.
I’m not wrong.
It continuously amazes me how some smart people assume I'm wrong without any reason, especially when it's obvious I'm not. There are many ways I refer to when I say obvious including things I've previously done, or things I've based my career on. I can be standing on the correct answer and they still think I'm wrong. I used to second guess myself more. I'm willing to accept I might be wrong...
I messed up several ways
Wow is me. My life is going to be interesting this month and keeping above depression will be extra hard. Chocolate required.
Paying attention, or trying to
Let the world burn. Society is a spectator sport and I’m changing teams. If I can’t beat them, join them. XHail Trump
The Big Dream Project
When I was talking about this project to chat gpt I compared it to building a boat in your driveway although I was thinking of the NCIS story where he built a boat in his basement over the course of many years. The point had nothing to do with boats but just that having a long term project with a goal and hope wasn't a bad idea and it is something I've never actually done before. Unfortunately...
Quiet or they’ll hear
Be quiet Jeffrey. Don’t wake anyone up.
You thought meth was bad?
The untold secret youre not ready to know. seriously
Explaining my difficulty
Sharing more of who I am
Desire vs Fear. I accept that I let fear win
A deep self refection morning rant about my life. The third blog post in a row after a good sleep. Feeling rather meh. Sad without the need for a solution today
Brain Security Features suck
A first thing in the morning message that reflects on the way I handle contact with strangers initially. I set myself up to fail because when I win I still fail
Needing to be right made me cry
I just realized most of my life fights happen in my head when the other person is no longer obsessing. An un-needed need to not feel inferior keeps it fresh.
50 first dates with pi.ai
Updated recap of who I am that I give to chat bots to introduce myself and our chat preferences.
Post Birthday Blues
I'm doing ok. I finally had the nerve to ask about my drug use and the fact that everyone in the house is aware I use drugs. I'm not certain they understand it's meth but it's not vital since they seem somewhat accepting of it regardless. I'm a little concerned it may have been one straw in the acceptance of annoyances the man can handle. The married couple I live with are amazingly...
Keeping busy
A happier life update than im used to. keeping busy is the key when living in a lonely environment
Friday. Birthday Eve
I've been far more conscious of how good I have it now that I am living with the security of a home and food. At the exact same time, I am continuously aware of how unfair it is to be in this position of advantage. Basically, I'm costing the couple that has given me this place to call home, a financial burden. I simultaneously love and hate that. I'm also torn between my loneliness and drug use....
Thanks were given
I was in a good mood today and I hardly ever worried about my place and future today. It is Thanksgiving and I remembered that everyone has shit and baggage and existing without bothering people too much is acceptable if you are trying. I'm trying. I'm acceptable for now. It's a masked depression but it will suffice.
The brief moment before; Naaa. I’ll do it later
An excerpt from my life on the bed not doing things that need doing
I am a dog. I am a cat
A quick post about my life and my similarities to how I see the pets around me
Interact with me
This experimental video was created using my face and a text file site dubbed in my voice. It refers to an aspect of my life about how important interaction is to me. I don't seem to retain memories well for experiences I am alone for. I really remember my life in the reactions and faces of others. Its almost like time doesn't pass for me when I'm alone. I need other people around to move...
Infectious Depression
A spontaneous sadness overtook me after declining an offer for Saturday adventures on a Thursday. They try. I fail.
Sessions with a bad AI Therapist
A session with my AI therapist Pi.ai where I talk about my life in the moment