Dream Universe

It's a Friday. I woke up around 4pm for the 10th time.  Some amazingly cool dreams between my naps. If only I could write them down but my mind drifts when I try. Still, I'm flipping between the memories as I watch TV. I remember parts as I see reference triggers in the show. I was in the future in some dreams.  Neat stuff. The details of the dream were oddly scripted and specific. I'm having...

I got some xlax today thanks to a kind donation. I'm not sure how well it will work on this brand of weeks old dehydrated constipation but I just took one at 8pm so we'll see over the next two days. Apparently some of my dreams may have been fever dreams which are bad but it's hard to tell when the room is 93° I'm dehydrated again and peeing frequently because my body doesn't holduch at a time....

I've been sick, but invisibly sick. I have severe constipation that has gone on much longer than I should have let it. Last week there was a bit of a reprieve and I let a medium shit through the blockade. I chose to ignore it again and now it's probably been x days. Shame permits me to say x rather than the real count. During the past weekend, I decided not to eat. This is aided by the fact that...

It's only 8am on the morning after the first day back post COVID. So much has restarted for me at once. I don't want to fail, but most of my life experience is actually in failing and running away.I spoke with the boss. I volleyed the idea of coming in later in they day but it was more of a gesture. I need this sleep. I start to remember some dreams like they were real experiences

I am sitting outside in Ontario Spring, listening to horny birds chirping like kids on the first day of school. Each catching up with friends about how they spent their winter down south. I'm waiting on my rideshare to Toronto. A $155 fair with a new untested local company trying to complete with Uber, who wanted $250 for the same ride. Both are ruining my budget this month. I'll take a bus...

The loneliest place I visit No. December can be a lonely time. It doesn't help that the entire month leading up to December, is Black November. At this point, it's getting to be a little ridiculous. As I understand it, the retail market in United States uses black Friday as it's clearance day. It started as an equivalent to our boxing Day but before Christmas rather than after Christmas where...

Today is my birthday. It's not a happy day I'm kind of sad. My life has changed more in the last year than perhaps previous 56. No, that's not fair. My life can you turn off a lot in the Years 1 to 10 them pure. But, I don't really remember those so let's just agree to say this has not been a good year. Almost 100% of my friendships have been online drug users. Not to say those are not equally...

Transcribed from voice before I learned how to retain pauses as paragraphs. I am evolving into a technology of the past. Period. Let me explain. I am improving the way that I do things by using the technology of the fifth and sixth keys, period. I am dictaphone in my blog. And although I don't have a secretary in the office. I do have a phone, and the Internet has allowed me to translate and...

I am evolving into a technology of the past. Let me explain. I am improving the way that I do things by using the technology of the fi 70s. keys, I am using the modern day Dictaphone. I use my voice to type the words. I am voice blogging. maybe I should copyright the slang that will come. first the best blocking and then video blocking was the logging some should this be best logging for speech...

I'm coming up on my third week in the new home. It surprised me how little I've changed, despite a vastly different set and setting. I'm still being stealthy. I'm still living in a single bedroom trying to be quiet late at night as my room mates sleep. My bedroom is listed out with pretty much the same floorplan, computer, bed and TV.  I have limited contact and hide out in my room working...

Its 11am Monday and I wake up as if I've been sleeping for days. It was just Sunday I slept through, mostly. I had the most glorious dreams, enhanced by frequent wake-ups so that I could realize their story a bit before going back to sleep for the next chapter. I was involved in such a great story with a murder and a gang of colourful characters incuding a dog names Joe that Methew Broderick...

I did it.  Not the first time, but since I never really felt any effects from the last of the bad things to try. It's a more scientific testing of somw china white powder, a drug which was at the end of my trial list but not really for me. Even if it worked, which seems not to be the case, I don't need a relax drug so much. I prefer the ones that are more fun for my brain, and the way I think or...

I want to run. To give up. To fail and start again. It's kinda my thing. Key phrases from my therapy pop back up and I reframe them as reasons to fail. Completing things is where all the risk comes, in life and web design. It's admirable to be in progress and trying. When it's done, it might not be perfect. People might not like it. I will find some way to call it a fail, but when it's a work in...

This new found confidence could really backfire if I still can't figure out a way to want to do something. As I feel alone, and have built up a phobia of asking over time, as a defence mechinsm for rejection. I create my story, but shielded from te things that are less than moodless. I write my character afraid of asking, so it's an easy role to play, because I felt that anyway. Now it's a...

This is the unedited live brain transcript of an email I was going to send to the last person close to me that has never been let in on my secret life of a stoner. There is an asterisk (*) in there somewhere. That was the moment in my thpought process when I realized the edibles were kicking in and this was better siuited to my blog, and then written by the not high version of me. [brain: crap....

lthough I sincerely have tried to stop using other people as a comparison for a normal I wish I was. Other guys can do things I can't. I have a very low threshold for negativity. I have identified that Iam capable of ignoring it. Imagine for a moment that your universe is actually making changes so I'll react. There are over 7 billion humans alive rounded down a billion or so that hide from the...

It'd been quite a long time since a single grouping of words, not qute a phrase had caught my attention and focus. Instant gratification... I remembered it from the past, but I'd not thought about it again in relation to myself and my new journey to either self discovery or madness. In much the same way one single person calling me OCD made me obcess about whether I was actualy obcessive AND...