I’ve always known I’m funny. Saying it out loud however, is hard. I don’t tell jokes so being funny on demand never works. The world has a lot of people who seem to be funnier than me and it’s distressing.

TikTok and other social media platforms are turning people into millionaires for being consistently funny and it can be frustrating to watch all these people knowing it could have been, perhaps even should have been me… But isn’t.

It’s a lot of work to be funny every day in a way that will get you that kind of fanbase. You have to be consistent and change things up before they get bored of your consistency. You have to evolve.

It may have been a dream I’ve had since I was seven to be funny professionally but I missed it. Some things are much easier as a dream until you see other people successful at it. Even older guys with ugly faces are making waves and income online, just by being funnier than I am.

It kind of pissed me off, and that upsets me even more. It used to be easy to say I could have done that until it seems everybody but me is doing that, and being successful. They are living my dream and crushing it.

Another if only, even though I know the answer is really just me and my brain saying it’s too hard before trying. I can’t fail if I don’t start.

I still believe I am funny… Just in my own non-monetizable way.