The life of a drug user.

Good and bad moments, but a good day starts with bank deposits.

A lot of things have not gone well today and I'm always fascinated by these kind of unrelated minor problems that seem to happen when I'm in a bad mood. I've always said; good things happen when you're in a good mood and bad things happen when you're in a bad mood. I never really thought much about it beyond the quote. The universe just seems to work out that way and the understanding is beyond me. I have been thankful for it at times because if you're in a bad mood, then at least more bad things happening isn't spoiling a good mood. Hit me with them all on one day seems like a nice way to delivery ducky things. I'm the case today, I was pretty much out of the medication I use to maintain a level of happiness. More accurately it holds back my depressive thoughts. When I'm out I tend to...

When I'm low on my drug, I ration the doses so I don't have to go without any at all. It's probably not a good plan but to some extent it does give me a small amount each day instead of going cold turkey until I have a car and funds at the same time, and can go restock. The problem happens that I also have to eat and my budget often forgets I need to restock that too, pretty much every week. It often happens that I can budget for drugs and then realize I'm out of food too and I slice my money in half, meaning I but less drugs, which costs more, and cycle repeats. But the real problem is my overall mental state existing on less than my normal daily dose. My brain is used to a certain level of the drug. It know that to achieve a comfortable level of confidence, happiness, focus and...

I don’t know how to describe this blog. New rut is disturbing.

I've been alone since Tuesday, taking care of the house and the animals, and I've done an OK job. It's not particularly difficult, it's just more than usual, remembering times and paying attention to the distress barks if there are any. And today I woke up i've been getting up a little bit earlier and doing some of my social activities before I start other things and it's interesting but if you are in a good mood when you go on Instagram you tend to see good mood posts and I click like or heart on a lot of them and that seems to set the mood for the day Being Canadian I don't get a lot of the American political disaster posts. There are a few, but they're from people I have specifically clicked follow because I like the way they present themselves in the discussion. There certainly are...

I knew the answer before I asked the question but still stalled a whole hour to really be sure. One day I may say no.