This page is a dated journal of both text and video blogs of my journey through my 60s. I talk to my phone daily about my drug usage, my struggle with ADHD and my opinions on the universe.
Lots of drafts
Filler blog. Nothing new.
The down streak
In keeping with lights pattern of having bad things happen when you're in a bad mood and multiple bad things happening in threes or in groups, this isn't a great Monday. It seems my server has upgraded websites to a newer PHP that isn't compatible with all the plugins I use so that's one thing. The site that I'm working on that should be done by now but it keeps dragging on because AI makes errors that I don't notice or test for and so a finished product is always the next day and then it breaks something else. Client is upset and I'm ignoring them. Being told that I should progress more and work towards moving out was particularly mood shifting both short-term and long-term because it will not leave the prime focus of my mind and since I'm not currently using the drug that keeps me...
Week two. Burnt buzzes
Taking a break but not quitting.
After this break
After a break
They’re laughing at me, aren’t they?
Fuck. Realization.
Another day outside Paradise
Recap of my horrid morning.
More sadness posts
A horrid hungry morning
How well do I know people
Good morning blog about how my brain creates a decision making process about everything. I have to choose to trust blindly and it gets harder every year
Wow. Two masking dudes
A brain to gboard unedited script here, but if luck hits it right a different version will magically start an income for something I want to give away
Is the wall breaking?
A shit post about shit.
Wednesday all night
Wednesday all day and all night.
Terrifying but ignorable guilt
Another problem I ignore hoping will go away.
Holiday Monday Amped Am
I am super amped up this morning believing this blog is great.
I’m not used to being busy
I started writing about something else and just rambled.
Offline ramble. Distractions and Excuses
Why I don’t like to finish what I’ve started.
I wish I knew more, but I do. Perspective
A quick unintended ramble about being secretly smarter than you.
I admit it. I’m brain blocked
I distraction blog written when I’m supposed to be doing something else about distractions when I’m supposed to be doing something else.
When the meds aren’t working
The circle of dehydrated solid bulky poo.
My fantasy. Who, me?
I just got a reply on Reddit to an attempt at flirting that made me remember how bad I am at flirting
I’m out. January edition
The repeating return of being out and restocking my current drug of choice, and chocolate.
I passed worry and fear weeks ago
It’s funny to think that there’s such a thing as bad math which would imply that there’s good meth and there is but it ain’t what I’ve got today
Accidental Meth Addiction Q&A
I cannot decide if this was a good reply or not, but meth says it’s a great example of meth addiction so I posted it feeling confident.
Decision Time. 2:34am
A 3am blog about what happens next. 4am, 5am. Are we set for a new music release, or work?
I listened to one of the early AI podcasts
A spontaneous life evaluation post. The kind I often have in January. Reflect on things I’m not planning on changing
The ewww but do it anyway ritual
The life of a drug user.
A weird place to be in my brain
Hard drug choices. Drugs are bad, but bad drugs are worse.
I won’t try this again, probably
Bait and switch before I knew it.
Sleepover
Deep bleh thoughts
No Smoke. No Snack Tuesday
Part of an unbalanced break – fast. Literally fasting through a break… Maybe.
Morning necessities
I’m out again. This or soon will be.
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