farm

Most people probably wouldn’t call where I live a farm we do have three chickens and a pig in addition to an assortment of cats and dogs and goldfish.

farm

The start bark.

It's 6:08am and I made a very quiet snap as I closed my bedside wYet bottle after my morning pill. Coincidence or not, it triggered the chain reaction that would begin the morning routine. A light rustling of the metal cage one floor directly above my head. There was...

Most people probably wouldn’t call where I live a farm we do have three chickens and a pig in addition to an assortment of cats and dogs and goldfish.

Monday Update. awake

Monday Update. awake

Most of the filming I do these days for my blog is recorded during the walk down to the barn where I do my chores. Sometimes...

March 5th 2024

March 5th 2024

Today my sister came close to yelling at me, but didn't. Still the feel of spontaneous anger caused by me took her by surprise. I guess in the 5 months of being here, shed witnessed very few failures and taking care of making sure the dogs get fed and watered is vital to her reputation as Canada's leading breader of the highest quality show dogs. I was given a new chore to add to my regular...

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Oh yeah. I should probably find something to eat other than a cookie and a few to buy brownies and a chocolate bar.

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1st Morning

1st Morning

I woke up 4 minutes before the alarm was to go off and unlike every other day for the past month and a half, I stayed in bed and did not stand up and go take drugs. I said hey to my Google assistant and started the day with the lights on and the radio playing. I checked my mail and a couple of messages and went out for my morning duties without any boost. It's snowing and the ground is all fresh...

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Sneaking in new responsibilities

Sneaking in new responsibilities

Doug was away for a tiny Christmas present vacation combined with delivery of steaks and puppies to the coast so not much changed in my morning duties but we added a few extras including feeding the dogs in the morning and making sure they have water and now restocking the wood pile with fresh wood and kindling. I suppose now officially I have shown I can do that and will probably be asked to in...

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The lazy farmer

The lazy farmer

I used the common term lazy even though I understand that I'm not really lazy. Do I though? It's clear that I expend energy trying to save energy. I put a lot of effort into not putting a lot of effort into things. I go out of my way to try and lesson number of steps involved in everything in my life. It's Monday and I'm in a contemplating mood as I feed the cows this morning I have lessened the...

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My eyes stay dark.

My eyes stay dark.

For the last few years, I have been sleeping with a hat. It covers my eyes when I sleep so it is essentially dark in my head, even if the room or sunlight is bright in the room. I am able to wake, but not evaluate the darkness. It allows me to drop back to sleep faster, but has the side effects that I can think about sleep without looking at the clock. Instead of waking because it's bright, I...

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Smiles in January

Smiles in January

During November and December, I am often down. They are depressing months for me, not only because of the Christmas season and the gift giving rituals, but also the music and the fake happiness that surrounds the season. in January, I look forward to new. It's Monday and I can. get excited about the possibility of this year being better than the last. So far it's been going pretty well. It's...

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The gate I invented instead of sleeping.

The gate I invented instead of sleeping.

It's just past midnight on a mid December Monday. My brain is thinking of the connections that had to have happened previous to tonight that led me to my latest iteration in my mind of the auto closing farm gate. My early days on the farm involved occasionally being a passenger to the car or farm ATV around the property. The passengers only duty is to open and close the various gates before and...

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My days

My days

I've started thinking about my day. A routine of minimal activity between naps. I wake up either slightly before 7:30am or with the alarm at 7:37am. I prefer to wake naturally if I can because I remember my dreams better when they are not interrupted but I have normalized alarm mornings. I used to hate the alarm waking me up. I get up and turn on the lights at 12% brightness, all white. This is...

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My morning walk with punch lines

My morning walk with punch lines

I've been thinking about what I can talk about during my morning walk because the actual chore doesn't change much and isn't interesting but I do like the idea of making sure films regularly so I have to ease myself into actual content instead of just me breathing heavy in the snow as I walk up the hill.[video data-wpid="154"...

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Big Ben

Big Ben

Ben looks like a great Pyrenees dog. He's huge and white and has the dew claws. Apparently he's not officially a great Pyrenees but he's close. The second dog I ever owned was a great Pyrenees and he was quite dumb and unfortunately chaste moving cars so he didn't last very long in my childhood but I always loved him best because as a kid great big fluffy dogs are fun.As an adult great big...

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The chain of events

The chain of events

It was 630am the day after my birthday. The phone rang. It kept ringing and I woke up mid dream eventually but didn't quite unlock the phone in time. Then it rang again and I saw the message; SOS. THE SITE IS DOWN. I knew why. It was my fault, sort of. I forgot to finish a task yesterday. The second part of a two step process to download and delete two backup files which were huge and violated...

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Life loops. Chores

Life loops. Chores

I have always seen life as a series of loops. Things that happen over and over that old people see more clearly than young people. The way of the world in a constant repetition starting with day after day, week after week, year after year but also the loops of society the way things work. I hate loops because after the first one, they're no longer as interesting. I don't like my life in...

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Blah blah blah Tuesday

Blah blah blah Tuesday

I don't really feel like doing anything today. Even this blog was a chore. I almost just typed blah and saved it at that. Today is one of those days where I take mental stock of my situation and blah is the best I can come up with. It's better in most ways than it was before my move, but in many ways it's unchanged. Sure, I'm not suffering in a 100° F bedroom all alone. This bedroom is an ideal...

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I’m wounded and sore

I got beaten up earlier this evening. Knocked down into a pile of shit. My knee hurts and I was bleeding on my shin and ass. I'm still sore and have not slept because I'm sore in my usual sleep positions. I would say; you should see the other guy but I hardly got a swing in. He took me totally by surprise when I wasn't looking. I thought I did nothing but who knows. Maybe I did something to set...

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Today was a good day

Today was a good day

Today was a good day. I didn't sleep during the day and I got a lot of stuff done including some backlog work with a customer I actually avoided for over 2 weeks. I made up and he didn't seem too upset. It's not really a lie to say it was a health reason I was unavailable for the last three weeks for him. The world is accepting mental health as a real thing these days. I didn't have to elaborate...

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Less blogging as expected

It's not that my life is more exciting when I'm using drugs, it's that I sleep more when I'm not. My life has about the same level of excitement either way but when I am sleeping, I'm less likely to blog. Ironically, I've had some pretty amazing dreams the past week that we're definitely blog worthy but I don't stay up long enough to actually get up and start writing. Today I'm trying to break...

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Beautiful Ontario Spring Afternoon

Beautiful Ontario Spring Afternoon

I don't know what the temperature is, but I'm happy to sit outside in my backyard chair and watch the dogs jump around and play with each other in the sunlight just before the evening starts. It's early February and more often than not this week would still be snow covered and cold but today there is sunlight and It's the kind of day that Ontario calls spring. My breath still creates a slight...

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Super Pig. Super Powers

Super Pig. Super Powers

They say that pigs are supposed to be one of the most intelligent animals in the animal kingdom. I haven't seen an example of that with my pig. Oops I mean the pig that I take care of during the week, but to be fair there's not a lot of intelligence that's needed to sleep and eat and poop and repeat. This pig doesn't really have the opportunity to shine. Its life is rather dull and there isn't...

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Mmmm… That’s good hot slop

Mmmm… That’s good hot slop

The new routine at least for the winter is pig slop, heated for 5 minutes on high. It stinks up the kitchen because the stove isn't clean, and as far as I can tell from the pig's body language, he not only doesn't care, I think he prefers it cool. But I'm heating it up again today. A Friday special and I'm a little bit early to the kitchen anyway. The dogs have been in a mood. They usually get...

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Half Random. Half Planned

Half Random. Half Planned

My morning routine. Actually my whole day's routine is split into two different methods. There are part that I do on time every day specifics and then there are parts that are handled by the randomness of the dog's moods. Feeding the pig and the chickens is pretty much on a scheduled routine and berries extremely little between days. Tending to the dogs however it's unpredictable and...

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4pm early bird special

4pm early bird special

I managed to squeeze in an hour nap between 2:00 and 3:00. I'm always a tiny bit concerned that once I'm asleep after a longer binge like this I won't wake up for anything for a while. I'll ignore alarms and ringing and all sorts of things but it's not always the case. More often, I sleep in shorter segments like I did today. 1 hour at a time waking up regularly and then eventually crashing for...

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Day Three. Things I’ve done wrong.

Day Three. Things I’ve done wrong.

I started back at my responsibilities of daytime animal feeder. It's an easy task, and yet I've made several errors in the three days since he went back to work. It worried me that I might actually be getting old soon and my ADHD distractions combined with drug use, depression and everything else. I make mistakes. It sucks. I do things without thinking, and consequences range from mild to harsh....

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Last post for a crappy Wednesday

Last post for a crappy Wednesday

I'm posting this blog standing outside the chicken coop but 5:30 p.m. and it's still light enough to see. That's a good sign. Everything else about today didn't work out so well. Standing outside chicken coop because the pig woke up and he wants fat even though that was an hour ago he seems to think it's morning. He's grumpy in the morning. I'm grumpy too because I'm having to blog on an...

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My life as a pig

My life as a pig

Everyday my life includes feeding the pig twice a day. Once in the morning, and once around 4:30. I just finished the 4:30 feeding although I have to go back in a little while and close up the chicken coop for the night. I've been in a reflective mood today and feeding the pig in the winter time made me a little bit sad because I personify human emotions to the animals I take care of.The life of...

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I have upset the pig

I have upset the pig

I fed the pig at around 4:30 this afternoon. It's usual bedtime in the winter. I was blogging a little bit outside while the weather is still nice enough to do that, and I was having a little bit of fun. Then I got distracted and went inside without completing the process of the evening feed.I even joked about how it was a pretty easy job when I got back to my room. Even easy jobs can be done...

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Dinner for lunch

Dinner for lunch

I slept in an extra hour before getting up to feed the hens there lunch. The dogs eventually nagged me into waking up and coming out to feed them. Initially I couldn't find the hens. They had hidden themselves somewhere warm on the property and I walked around shaking their food which usually does the trick cause them to come running but they wouldn't. As I laid out their food and one of the...

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Still nice enough

Still nice enough

It's still nice enough to sit outside a little bit officially feeding the animals. Canadian t-shirt weather. Today it looks like I'm feeding the official hens, and several bold unofficial friends. I'll let the pig stay inside this morning instead of making his way outside as I often do in the winter months. He seems content to wake up, eat and then return to his near hibernation slumber. The...

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Happy to see me

Happy to see me

It may be cyber Monday to much of the world but to the pigs in the hens it's just another day and they're hungry. It's 7:30 a.m. and one of the chickens it already worked its way out of the chicken coop to greet me at the door The others were happy to see me as I opened up the chicken coop with food in hand and fresh water.It's nice to be wanted.

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The Hens Taste Buds.

The Hens Taste Buds.

I'm not exactly sure what changed or if it was just my observation that has become more acute. I suspect the real reason I'm only noticing this food choice now, is because it has become cold enough for the rats to hibernate. When I feed the chickens, there are two different types of food that I mixed together for them each time. One type is the palate style grain and the other type is a preset...

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Living in a fishbowl (tank)

Living in a fishbowl (tank)

I used to hate the idea of an owning fish because they had such a dull life I always felt sad for them. People would say they don't care or they don't know or they have short memories but I never really believed that.I think it's kind of funny that people are so concerned about whales and dolphins in captivity and yet everyday people buy fish and fish tanks without guilt.But since I have a fish...

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I’m a sucker for sad stories and idiots

I’m a sucker for sad stories and idiots

The two original chickens that I call the pigeon sisters are cute to watch but they are pretty dumb. They suffer from something called FOMO which the teenagers tell me is the fear of missing out. They are more interested in whatever I'm doing than the food I have put down for them seconds before If I put food down in two different locations they will only eat the food at the newest one I've come...

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The Sunday that was a weekday

The Sunday that was a weekday

I'm sitting outside with a beautiful bright blue sky at 7:30 a.m. I'm pretty sure the clocks changed on me last night but in this digital world I don't have anything to do anymore. It's automated and I didn't actually know up until now whether the clocks went forward or backwards. I guess it's fall ahead so what I'm looking at is what would have been 8:30 yesterday. To add to this confusion,...

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The Pigeon Sisters

The Pigeon Sisters

We only have three hands left on the farm now that the rooster and his two orange soldiers have been taken back home. He left us with the loner, the one I call crow who sadly no longer looks very healthy. The other two were the ones I formally referred to as the weak hands but since they are now unbothered by the rooster and the new crew, they have returned to the top of the coop and are doing...

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Barking dogs

Barking dogs

Have you ever noticed that when dogs are doing irritating things, and you can't stop them, but the second you turn the camera on they stop doing it?

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Wakey wakey

Wakey wakey

I only woke up twice last night and I only had to pee one of those times. Then I woke up about 5:15 a.m. and was going to get up and start my day and then suddenly the 7am alarm went off. I don't actually come out and open the chicken coop and feed the animals till about 8:00 a.m. now because it stays dark and it's reasonably cold so I suspect they are quite content to sleep that extra half...

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Weird shit… Literally.

Weird shit… Literally.

I wish I had taken a photo, although I suspect your glad I didn't. I was sitting out in the garden waiting for the pig to realize there's no more food and walk back into his nighttime home so I can put the blanket over him. The dogs have given up their wandering and are back by me waiting to be let inside because it's kind of cool and damp out here today. As I sat down to write the last blog I...

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The horrible rodent hunters

The horrible rodent hunters

The title of this blog could be read as horrible rodents, or horrible hunters. I suppose both are equally true. There are many rats on this property although they don't get in my way too often they can occasionally startle me. The dogs however would love to catch one but they're horrible at it. The female, is the one that most loves to hunt but she's not a hunting dog by any means she's not...

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The rooster seems horny this morning

The rooster seems horny this morning

I just got back inside from feeding the pigs this morning and I leave food both in the chicken coop for the late riser chickens and a nice dish outside for the rooster and the two red hens that came out quickly this morning. They will eat what they need and then I'm sure the pig will finish off their plate after he's finished with his. The thing that I found humorous was the horniness of the...

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The early bird special

The early bird special

It's the first nice day after 4 days of rain so the animals are happy to be outside. I am too. Fall in Ontario It's a season that most people seem to like. At least they post online that it's their favorite season while the colors are still changing and there's lots of orange everywhere. As we get further into November and the trees are empty and everything is gray fall is no longer people's...

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Face to face with terror

Face to face with terror

The title of this blog post is a little dramatic. I was actually face to face with cuteness. Tiny little rats are cute. Last night when I was putting the pig blanket on the pig, I found myself staring face to face with a rat. It was so cute I had to smile. It was frozen in place of course hoping that I wouldn't notice. Hoping they wouldn't see it and become a predator. The rats on this farm are...

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The running of the hens

The running of the hens

One of these days hopefully before the winter comes I will remember to bring my tripod down and set it up so that I can catch I have to pre-planned this precisely, because the the run of the hens. It has become one of the highlights of my otherwise doll weekdays. I 1 set the tripod up along the sidewalk that has become their main path from the to the area where I feed them. I have to pre-planned...

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Discovering an OOPS the next day.

Discovering an OOPS the next day.

Most times I make an error, I know immediately because it's obvious. Something falls over or fails. Sometimes somebody else finds out for me, which I hate. Today I discovered my mistake this morning. It confused me at first. I couldn't believe it. A lot of times when an error is pointed out to me I am amazed that it happened. After 50 years of life and people pointing out my errors I realized I...

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It’s so easy to be spoiled

It’s so easy to be spoiled

Since I don't have a car, I have adopted to the idea of having everything delivered to me. I could take the bus now that I found it's not as expensive or inconvenient as I once thought it was, but the convenience of delivery allows me to not have to change my clothes and put on shoes and leave the house. For my Uber eats and my grocery delivery from Walmart, I don't even pay the delivery fees...

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8am wet food

8am wet food

It's not really raining hard this morning. I seem to be lucky so far this year that the rain is either before or after I need to go out and feed the animals. It was barely drizzling or spitting. I don't actually know if it was raining at all or if it was just the wet trees dripping on me. To my surprise the chickens and the pig both happily came out of their coop to find food. I wasn't fully...

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The Rooster came at me again.

The Rooster came at me again.

Just as I was starting to get used to the rooster walking closely to me, my confidence was shattered as it came at me three times. I didn't have my defensive cane but I shushed it away with my hands and no physical contact with made. He tried three times for no apparent reason but that's his way. It's reasonably clear to me but not certain that he likes to stand in my path even when that path is...

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The early bird special.

The early bird special.

So today I came out to feed the birds there 4:00 p.m. dinner and laid out a nice spread for them as usual minus the grain that has been decided they no longer need. I was cheerful and looking for them since they weren't around and I don't like to leave the food out in the open for long because then it goes to less deserving animals than the chickens. Unfortunately what happened was my cheerful...

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Sunday Subbing In

Sunday Subbing In

Starting to get a little chilly to sit outside at a quarter to six. The last feeding of the pig. Even though it's Sunday, the master is out somewhere possibly having a Thanksgiving dinner. I'm on backup duty.

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The world, she is a changing

The world, she is a changing

I don't know much about how the real world is changing but here on the farm the rooster and I have almost made up. He hung around me today close and didn't maintain eye contact which I take as a sign of trust. The pig was also out of the coop wondering the backyard it 10 to 6:00, so I guess I have to start coming to feed him a little earlier than previous nights. Soon it will be quite dark by...

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Funny Hen Habits

Funny Hen Habits

I keep changing my mind as to whether or not chickens are smart or stupid. I suppose, just like any other animal, they have certain things that they are aware of and good at and other things that they just can't comprehend. I think when it comes to food they probably have some memory that lets them know I'm the guy that brings them food. They also remember I'm the guy that occasionally has more...

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He’s found a new way to annoy me

He’s found a new way to annoy me

The feud between the rooster and I has calmed. It's easy to spot his intentional change in attitude as he clearly walks in directions away from me or around me even when the other hands walk right by me. He can't avoid me because I'm the one that brings him his food in the morning and afternoon but it's clear he's not wanting to attack me as much. I've even gone out a few times without my...

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The dog that doesn’t eat treats.

The dog that doesn’t eat treats.

There isn't much more that I can say about that. I live with two dogs. The male one doesn't love treats but he certainly will eat them if I have my hand out. He follows me around and gives me that sad face if I have food. It's not his fact. He has a sad face all the time.I'm not supposed to feed the dogs treats or otherwise but sometimes it's nice to reward good behavior and it's been a life...

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Even A.I. Hates my Rooster

Even A.I. Hates my Rooster

This is pretty neat. I was offered a free trial of this Artificial Intelligence copywriting tool, and in the moment I couldn't think of any real practical use - so I entered two options. I hate my Rooster and Everybody hates Roosters. This is what it produced: Why I hate my Rooster: I never thought I would hate anything as much as I hate my rooster. He is the most annoying, loud, and obnoxious...

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I think I’m feeding the rats

I think I’m feeding the rats

Recently I have started paying a little bit more attention to how quickly the chickens finish their meals. As a child, and even as a young adult I suppose, my parents and friends were always commenting on how fast I ate. I would frequently be stuffing my mouth with food while I was chewing the previous mouthful. I don't think chickens do this. I was more referring to how much time they spend...

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No photos please.

No photos please.

I was surprised to find one of the hens dead today. Viciously dead. It was inside the chicken coop which was an odd place to find it. Right in the doorway where the other animal would have to walk past or over it to enter exit. Myself included I wasn't 100% sure what to do with it because if I left it in the chicken coop able to track the rats all the more. If I left it outside the chicken coop...

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