A wave of sadness and uselessness returns triggered by sobriety and unrelated comments I interpret personally.
Memory recall. The odd cry mood
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mood
The under current of moods
mood swings are blogging time.
Spun Monday
A Monday morning refection and review. I just realized I don’t really know what status quo means
The ups and downs
Review of my day on meth
6am Monday. Deep Dream Refectionn
A first thing in the morning review of my Mo day dreams without a bunch of drugs clouding my reality.
The good of the day
A random post about random thoughts on a random mood. When you worry there isn’t a reason to worry.
Friday Mood Flipping
Text and video blog for Friday morning. I decided this meth really does suck. Not just probably. It was cheap and contaminated.
Sunday Sleep in
Waking up groggy at 7:30 is different. I had some neat dreams but having drug dreams while I have drugs is new. Usually I'd have these types of dreams about two or three weeks after I'd run out. I'm not remembering my dreams as well these mornings but they definitely...
Back to back Fridays
My Friday mood isn’t like other people’s Friday mood. It signals the end of a week where I did not accomplished the things that I had hoped. Friday is often a reflection day where I think about being a loser. Monday on the other hand is the exciting day filled with potential to not be a loser. A vicious cycle.
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Bathroom Break Blogging
With high hopes I started blogging about my morning routine and ended up in a downward mood blogging about blogging about life. I just realized it now.
Blah Blogging. Moody Tuesday
My obligatory Tuesday blog, even when I’m not in the blog mood.
Not really a short week but is already the weekend
Friday report on the state of my brain today. The state is assumed good until I hear otherwise or the universe throws a curve.
Read moreI think of ideas or the ending to sentences but by the time I’m typing them I no longer have confidence so I either end abruptly, change the subject, or stop blogging mid sentence.Â
Fantastic morning mood
I made a 5-minute video previous to this that was supposed to be today’s daily journal but I guess I would still a little high and somehow it didn’t get saved. I was in such a up mood this morning I could have made 10 videos and I think I made four. I sent this one to a friend for inspiration and they thanked me.
the Monday of Sundays.
I can see why people use ketamine in therapy because it's 3:00 p.m. on Sunday now and I haven't slept but I had a fantastic mood day. That's a day when you feel like it's a fantastic day even though you don't actually get much done you just feel like it's all good. It...
The limbo mode
There is a mood between wanting to sleep and wanting to work and it is this mood that I find myself spending a good portion of my days in. If Ian is the right word. I finish my morning chores before 9:00 a.m. and don't technically have anything to do until about 3:30...
Motivation by mood
Recently I have noticed my mood is being used as a skakegoat to not do or watch things. I find myself wanting to be productive this morning but just not "feeling" like each option I present. I sit here scanning the TV options, finding several good choices I definitely...
Thursday Morning Mood
I slept well, and woke up refreshed. Almost instantly, I reached for my last piece of chocolate and the meth bong to start my day. I don't have guilt or regrets about this anymore. At this moment in time, I am ok with identifying as a daily meth user... At least to...
The week in review
This my second week using daily... I think. It might only be my first. I have not really noticed much different, and in refection yesterday and today - I'm thinking it might not be very good. There is a type of meth that allows for, if not causes sleepiness. Yesterday...
Monday was better
I had a good day yesterday. The right set and setting to keep me motivated, productive and focused. Today... Not so much.There are things I want to get done, but today was more blah. I did more nothing today than something.In the end, I did progress on the blog. I...
Note to self: it won’t work
After a few months of not using, I was actually looking forward to feeling motivated and productive again. A week after using, my brain remembered it doesn't work that way. The positive good mood work effects wear off and you're still the same effort avoiding person....
