A clean Wake-up and meth refresh, ignoring how tired I should be – for now
Pretending to sleep.
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insomnia
There are not bugs under my skin
I gave in to the temptation. Stop the itch with a cloud
Two minutes to midnight
Still technically Monday and I haven't fallen asleep yet. I've been playing with noses instead of creating anything or making new videos. I should be tired. I haven't smoked anything since 3 or 4:00 p.m. and I was doing pretty well at regulating her fairly normal...
Stuffy Nose? Here is a life hack
I learned this life hack but it doesn’t help with insomnia from a stuffy nose.
1am Again.
I can't tell if my insomnia today is real or in my mind. I'm not sure that it matters all that much, because either way, I'm still awake at 1:00 a.m. and I anticipate it's made last the whole night. Early this morning I blogged about how small a quantity of meth smoke...
My sneaky tricks have failed me
Galley of playing around on my phone in the dark during the night hours
The time between 3am and 6am
When I find myself awake and aware at 3am, it's usually clear I'll be up all night. Sometimes I can fall back asleep but these days it usually means I used some drugs too late or too often for sleep. At this point in the early morning, the effects of my Paxil have...
Change of plans? No problem
I've always been adaptable to a change in plans at the last minute. At least I think I have. I know I don't mind postponing or cancelling. It ends my anxiety instantly. I suppose I get upset at the big plans I was looking forward to, but I try to not let change like...
Falling asleep is harder now
There are winter bugs keeping me awake at night. Well, and the meth too. It's probably the meth now that I think about it. In fact, I'm not even sure there are bugs.
2am Wednesday
It wasn't a productive day and I had little to do officially, so I mostly tried to get higher, but this medication tops out for me. At a certain point, pretty much after 3 bowls or so, more doesn't help. More and more is wasted except for the purpose of making videos,...
Oh wow. It’s still Monday
I know that 1:45am is technically Tuesday but I was actually a bit surprised. It felt like more than one day of work. My morning 5am bump has not only allowed me to work the entire day on a project, it seems it's not scheduled to slow down and let me get to sleep. I'm...
A literal quarrel in my head.
I had a nice relaxing orgasm around 8pm and figured I could probably fall asleep tonight. Today was a pretty good day. I accomplished enough of my tasks to be noticable, and feel optimistic about the last half. It's clear the imaginary life I predicted for being a...
1am… Decision time
Wait for a sleep that might now come, or get higher and fuck it.
10pm and still awake
To be awake at 10:00 p.m. on a Friday is nothing significant for most of you I'm sure. However for me I've been up since 1:00 a.m. yesterday and I really wanted to sleep today. Or at least fall asleep tonight. A combination of the massive quantity of bugs in my bed...
The in-between time.
YIKES! I forgot about the gurgle. This is the broken bong I usually use without any water in it, so it's usually stealth quit like a pipe but tonight for reasons...
Mental addiction
Some drugs are physically addictive and quitting needs a process. Your body learns to function with the drug and needs time to wean off it properly. A lot of mental prescription drugs are this way, but they don't use the word addictive. My Paxil can make me seriously...
Two AM re-evaluation.
I felt the sleepy wave of the 20mg edibles around 11 but the effects were not strong to keep me asleep. Too much meth just before bed. I'm not falling asleep in my hour increments. I'm just wake in one long consecutive period of attention and focus with no destination...
Bad pre-sleep snack
I shouldn't be eating chocolate at 11:30 p.m. I shouldn't be drinking pop and eating chocolate.i shouldn't...
Good Monday. Dull Monday
I actually think I got some sleep although I'm not certain. It was a bit of some confusion but I know I definately did sleep today during a time when 3 calls came through. The boss was calling to tell me thew new way to do my job. So much for getting them used to a...
It works again!
It turns out cleaning isn't so hard afterall, if you have an actual sink. Sadly my joy over the return of my preferred bubbler came after I'd already partaken in a number of filming exercises and experiments using the other tools. It was a; Play with the new camera...
Weekends with eyes open
I enjoyed this weekend. I was in a good mood the whole time and had some good social conversations with my housemate without having to take care of the animals or anything for Saturday and Sunday. I forget what I worked on yesterday but today I split my day focusing...
Always a reason to say No
The plan, as it has been every Friday for a while was to leave the house, replace my bong, buy some transit tickets and some good sleepy shatter to help me sleep. The plan did not happen of course. It's not necessarily even intentional. I just find reasons to say no...
Oh yeah… Pepsi
I don't drink coffee or tea in the morning. I don't get caffeine on a regular basis and my choice of pop is usually clear but with hamburgers or pizza, I like a Pepsi. Tonight I got paid not quite enough to pay all the bills at the month but I expected that, so...
Sleep may be especially tough tonight…
It was a hot one today. Especially so inside the 10x12 bedroom I call home. It's not well ventilated and due to curious cats, I don't get to leave my door open more than a crack. Usually I leave it closed so I am less disturbed by noises on the other side of the door...
Sunday movie night
It's 3:14 in the afternoon on a Sunday. Pie time I sometimes call it although there It's almost never any pie. I miss pie. A good old-fashioned cafeteria style apple pie is hard to find these days. Swiss Chalet still sells one although restaurant desserts are a little...
Sleep issues solved? I am an idiot
I'm not really sure that my sleep issues are resolved. It does however appear that I may have found at least part of the problem. I still have constipation issues, and I'm still peeing more than I should but last night was particularly rough. I was only getting about...
False Positive. It’s an Apple Fritter
Glazed donuts often have a timeline of freshness that begins right away. Tonight I was offered three McDonald mini donuts. One was a springle. These are yeast donuts and ideally should be consumed within an hour or three after purchase. I prefer the longer lasting...
My Insomnia isn’t Insomnia
I had not slept well the last three nights mostly be a of my stupidity and an old addict trick. If I'm not asleep by now, why not just stay up and try tomorrow. Howver as morning ce closer, I was almost tired so I did more with good intentions of cutting the streak. I...
