As of 3:30 this morning, there is a stealth cat loose in my bedroom. It has made falling back to sleep slightly more difficult than usual. Actually, the falling asleep part isn't so hard bit waking up out of my usual sleep cycle routine is the distressing part. The...
I probably won't get to sleep till after midnight but I rest. I had plans to go out tonight but instead spent my money on food a few other things. I'm on a tight budget this month trying to make all my payments without them slipping into next month which isn't as...
When people on a diet want a piece of cake they declare a cheat day. There doesn't seem to be any rule except that all rules are out the window. I've been setting very tiny goals for myself each day but today I didn't get much done at all. It's 4:00 p.m. now and I go...
Doing pretty much the same thing every day doesn't necessarily get easier. For someone with attention deficit disorder it can actually get more difficult because each day it becomes less interesting and the temptation to be creative and look for ways to make it fun...
So as of 8:14 a.m. on Tuesday August 2nd I am possibly missing a cat, or not one may have escaped outside which is really bad for at least one or two of the cats and reasonably bad for the third. If it's the bad cat and I don't mean bad cat I mean if it's the cat that...
I'm feeling more stressed than I need to be,but that doesn't really help. Then again, my stress has always been pretty mild. Since I go with the flow about everything, worrying about the future is a useless pastime. He starts a job tomorrow that will take him out of...
It sounds familiar in my head but to be honest I'm not positive my mother's birthday is July 7th. I think it is and they're all purposes, that means it is. I create my own canonBut this post isn't really about my mother. I stopped thinking about them for the most part...
I feel rather silly telling you this but it's a good story so I don't mind. I recently moved back into Toronto to downtown West. The previous times I've lived in Toronto it has been well out into the suburb neighborhoods. I'm in Parkdale which is the west side poor...
I moved back to Toronto and found a nice little place for the first month to stay started work on Monday and on Thursday I left early. Friday we were closed for the whole next week with covid and I didn't blog a bit. I didn't really move much. I just sat in bed alone...
The plans for today are in flux. As I was turning the key to lock the back door, my phone rang. My co-worker informed me that our boss has tested positive for Covid-19 and I should not come in to work. My mind floods with different thoughts and possible futures....
Today is Sunday. My practice day to see that I can wake up and get things done. I won't say I'm failing already, but it certainly wasn't a totally slow start. It's 10:30 and I feel like I will tackle my to-do list today out in the sun and feel better about it. I am...
In the past. I have always talked about each new move as a Chapter in my life story. I learn so many new things when I'm living in the house with other people. Now I think it might be time to modernize my terminology since so much about how we share our story is now...
I'm near tears right now, but managing. I had high hopes for a call from my doctor. I had plans of what to say. 45 seconds later, we were saying goodbye and I said nothing. I hate that. I hate myself right now. I accomplished nothing. I didn't get anything I was going...
It's not like there is any real significance to weekends when you're at home 24/7. I still honour our cultural traditions and not get high till Friday. But I got high not remembering it was Friday. This week went by fast for me because I have important work, and I've...
People say drugs change you. Your whole personality changes because of addiction. I understand that statement, and a self evaluation is hard, but I can certainly think about a few ways I've changed. I can imagine my close friends might notice even more changes. I had...
Over the years I have created a number of different tricks to start my day better. I know what I need to do to wake up and start being productive. As soon as I realize I'm up, I turn on all the lights to full brightness and stand up and stretch. The key is to not go...
I have do much to share but let's see what gets retained long enough for the blog. I flip flop a lot. Often several times a minute as I internally debate decisions. If I stall long enough somebody else will make it. My phyciatrist has a standard procedure of always...
Mental Profile As I was laying in bed tonight I realized this needed to be written. I couldn't go to sleep without waking up and writing down this latest idea of mine. The world has recently adopted the term mental health to include all of those who have some...
I got distracted on my way to writing this blog because it's 10:35 on the first Saturday of October and it occurs to me that I will probably be up at least another hour and could watch Saturday night live season premiere live for the first time in 2 years at least....
It's Wednesday of the week back work week and as of 5pm, I've done nothing. I had a glorious uninterrupted restorative sleep last night during a thunderstorm. I woke up at 730 and then went back untill about 1045. Since then I've just sat around playing on my phone...
I'm giving this one a second try. At the very least, you know, isn't quite as distracting. But I'm very easily distracted. I mean, something took me away from pizza. Not right don't go on camera when they're eating pizza. doesn't seem right for the day Really is...
They have a saying that anyone could be president and some people laugh that off. But the truth is, anyone probably can become president. If managed by smart people. All you need to do is be some people's favorite. And they'll bulk that in and buy everything you're...
0:04 I absolutely hate when one single click. Takes me so far away from what I was doing that sometimes I don't make it back. Period. Tonight was therapy. I shared who I am, with someone seeking approval that I'm just interesting enough to want to see more, period. I...
Have u mentioned the rock bottom practice of burning the brown spots off my collection of pipes. I don't clean, I conserve. I deckareto my usual tea party friends I was out and would be for a while. Zeppelin. I can hear my heartbeat kind of like a hirserace. I reach...
Imagine for a moment what it might be like to have a disconnect in your brain that spontaneously allowed for a second awareness. A second consciousness that remains seperate from your normal everyday life. For me, I am starting to figure out that my stoned...
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Although I enjoy the drug chat rooms, they are probably bad for me. They keep me active and wanting to be high more, to belong and avoid any suspicion that I project on them. I'm not typical so I feel I might be feared as an under over. I say stupid things sometimes....
I'm enjoying life despite the empenfing doom. I'm having fun. Making friends and being me. Awkward and odd in all my glory. I'm saying dumb sjit and apologizing and nobody seems to hate me. They forgive and move on. Ironically these new friends are all from a...
Sometimes I amaze myself with what I'm willing to do to appease others. In this case, it's as much appeasing myself I suppose. I'm mici g up emotions in my head. This week I happened to acquire $100 in cash. This is money that rightfully should be dedicated to paying...