I wonder why I screw up so often

farm, General Blog Messages, Personal Journey

It’s weird. I don’t try and make mistakes but I do. More than the average I suspect. Today’s a good example. I just finished the 620 feeding of the pig where the chickens get a little bit of bread just…

I wonder why I screw up so often

It’s weird. I don’t try and make mistakes but I do. More than the average I suspect. Today’s a good example. I just finished the 620 feeding of the pig where the chickens get a little bit of bread just to stay away whe the pig eats.

As I sit down in my bed afterwards, deciding what they’re going to watch TV or not, I realized that it’s not yet 5:00 p.m. and that was supposed to be the 4:20 feeding.

At one point when I was letting the dogs out to come downstairs I briefly tried to remember the 420 feeding and just assumed that it was an automatic action in my head and I wake up from my slumber, toss some food into the containers and go back to sleep for a while. This is become my routine since I changed it on the weekend. I sleep too much currently assuming that that will eventually fade away into normalcy instead of becoming my norm.

In any case today it means I didn’t feed the chickens their final meal and the pig eats 2 hours early. The dogs go off to sleep assuming master will be home in about an hour when in effect he won’t be home till 7:30 and it’s only 4:50 now.

As screw ups go, it’s not certainly a bad one comparably, but it is an example of the kind of thing that I do frequently. Sometimes I don’t even notice it. It’s discouraging. I understand a little better why people get frustrated with me, or angry.

I can say I’m sorry and say it won’t happen again, but both are meaningless. It probably will happen again. Maybe not in the same way but it’s not something I can plan to not do. I certainly didn’t mean to do it today.

That’s not entirely true. I can plan to not do it again in this version at least. When I make mistakes like this I do my very best to only make them once. I do in fact learn from my mistakes. It just means adding an extra step. More steps.

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