general

Internal Dialogue of my brain

Internal Dialogue of my brain

3am. You seem anxious. We'll, I heard a rumour you were going to not use meth today. Let me make a case against that. (Falls back asleep) 4:00am Ok, so I'm assuming that nonsense about quitting today is behind us. Can you tell me if we'll start right at 5am when he...

Am I boring you with my evil rooster stories?

Am I boring you with my evil rooster stories?

Warning. This blog was voice transcribed from the bathroom after feeding but I don't have my teeth in so I noticed a lot of errors. I should probably go and edit it manually but I'm pretty sure I won't. Not much has changed over the past while. The rooster still tries...

More chicken shit to deal with.

More chicken shit to deal with.

So the rooster has figured out this none shall pass power that he has When he standing where I need to be and I can't get by. We waited out As I inch and inch. Gaining ground until such time as I can squeeze past while maintaining eye contact at all times. He tries to...

Best laid plans vs Chicken logic

Best laid plans vs Chicken logic

When I can out the door for the afternoon feed, the weak chickens that linger in different circles are always first to detect me, and the waddle towards me. Over the past couple of days I've tried to death feed them their own portion before the rooster and his harem...

Mojo and Me

Mojo and Me

I learned the name of the rooster's mojo but I prefer calling it the rooster anyway because calling it by its name implies some form of relationship. I suppose in a way we do have an adversarial relationship he wants to attack me and I want to avoid being attacked. He...

Am I the same person

Am I the same person

People say drugs change you. Your whole personality changes because of addiction. I understand that statement, and a self evaluation is hard, but I can certainly think about a few ways I've changed. I can imagine my close friends might notice even more changes. I had...

I do pretty good at not regretting

I do pretty good at not regretting

I have formed my belief that I live very much in the now. I am paying attention to my surroundings and being self aware. When I do something .. anything really, the thought has been vetted. I have thought up the consequences in so many ways. I understand now how...

A bad thing for a good reason.

A bad thing for a good reason.

I'm not sorry. I do not regret today's desision... But of course, I'd say that now, still under the influence of a euphoria I previous denied. I am euphoric and creative and excited. I have been writing all night. My normal behaviour was to take some MDMA and try to...

I remember thye origin stories of the weirdest things

I remember thye origin stories of the weirdest things

I remember visually where I was standing when I first heard the CBC Radio announcer describing this piece of music he was about to play. It wasn't so much music like a song, but a tone. Somebody had invented, or discovered this tone that sounded like it was rising...

The 419 Loop

The 419 Loop

My mind fluctuates between happiness and terror now that I'm blogging in a Universe that I recently shared with people I know. It's always been much scarier sharing with people I know. It's one thing to read about a person's troubles on screen, and form your version...