Hello, I'm orange Jeff and this isn't orange shirt blog. You can't currently see that I'm wearing an orange shirt but I'll include a photo when you can trust me that it's current. For the most part, I live in a single bedroom on my bed. I compute there eat there I sleep there and watch TV here I don't do too much else except a few times a day let...
The "day off" Wednesday didn't fully turn out the way anyone expected but it was a reasonably productive day despite frequent interruptions. I should not have been surprised that my evening feeding chore had already been done. I wish I had known in advance. I might have taken transit into the downtown area as I've been wanting to, but I know I...
I enjoyed this weekend. I was in a good mood the whole time and had some good social conversations with my housemate without having to take care of the animals or anything for Saturday and Sunday. I forget what I worked on yesterday but today I split my day focusing (literally) on a new camera app for my phone and recreating my personal blog site...
I kind of think I was always this way but I can't be sure because of the way my memory works. I make stupid mistakes, I knock things over, and I don't foresee the consequences of things I do before I do them. Today's example was quite unfortunate and I can't get away with it I will definitely have to confess to it and that's too bad. As one of...
It's Wednesday and it seems a bit off this week because I was a bit off. I've recovering again today but I've been ignoring the bad conveniences of starting late. My life these days is all about juggling the timing of when I ask for money and when I can expect it. I have never left sending out my invoices until the end of the month like I did...
This is not an embed. Thats false features. It's a link. I could have done better. First 30 seconds are blank screen. OrangeJeff Webcam Stream https://t.co/3obuNplMtC— Orangejeff420 (@orangejeff420) June 9, 2022
In an attempt to be more productive without adderall, I ingest a certain amount of meth each morning. It's a very subtle incline and it's easy to miss the sweet spot where you can still think enough to do the job and have the stamina to continue and the focus to function. The problem is I tend to go past that spot into the I'm too high to think I...
My bedroom clock somehow lost almost an hour while I was away. Unusual because it's never really needed adjustment before. Perhaps it slows when the battery weakens. I guess that makes sense. Some things just stop working when the power gets low and others work slower. My body does both. Yesterday was a detox day. No drugs and I didn't get out of...
I seem to have reached a blah plateau tonight. Too high to care. Still dehydrated and bacteria tongue. Didn't eat any real food. Just bagels and chocolate. No interest in pornography or hypnosis. Maybe one of those brainwash videos finally worked. I'm avoiding the very real life in front of me. Things need to be done. Even this blog needs to be...
I'm sitting on my bed naked with a towel and 10:30 a.m. on the last day of May. In a couple of hours I will hand the keys back for this home and be done with this memory for now. My first month back into Toronto. Starting tonight I go back to Niagara Falls and that life. It will either theme familiar and happy or seem familiar and I'll remember...
Of I start with the assumption that I will discover ways to be unhappy with any choice, doesn't it makes sense to pick the easier ones? It's hard to keep everyone happy. Money doesn't motivate me. I just want to live without being yelled at.if no option is ideal, then pick one without a 4 hour daily commute. The need to find an affordable home is...
Yes Hello. I'd like to exchange this current life for a new one. I don't like the amount of effort involved. I was mislead about how it would be better. I realize I've only had this new life less than 30 days and I can change my mind and go back to my previous option of no life if I wasn't satisfied. I'm as surprised as anyone. Who would have...
I forgot spontaneous move day was a Monday. A work day. Each new trip teaches me something or provides a new story. Forgetting to secure a place to live will be inconvenient and possibly really hard to get past. Pause... High TV time.
Yesterday ended in an exhausting mood swing. My new job is a lot to adjust to, even for me; a guy who talks about adjusting to change like it's my superpower.If I'm honest with myself, I know I'm cheating this time. The way I've adjusted to a complete reset in my life is to get high, stay focused, stay happy and coast until something happens.I...
Today I started with the last of my focus medication. A smaller dose. It faded around 2pm and since 4pm I have basically done no additional work. I remember this feeling. I can't lock in and work. Even the easy tasks seem to difficult to tackle. Even writing this blog post was difficult. I wanted to say a lot, but as soon as I started, I didn't...
I'm not really feeling the blog inspiration this morning. I was looking forward to it on the walk to the bus station. It is a nice spring day and I was alert and feeling the confidence needed for a good day of work and overall progress. Although it's Thursday, it's like a second Monday. I took Wednesday as a freak out vacation day. This means a...
It's a Tuesday here in Toronto but it feels a bit more like a Monday because we had a long weekend holiday Monday. It was supposed to be a rest day so I could start my office job again. I have only worked 4 days before they shut us down to stay at home with COVID. My experience was quite mild because of was vaccinated. That's the story I choose...
I moved back to Toronto and found a nice little place for the first month to stay started work on Monday and on Thursday I left early. Friday we were closed for the whole next week with covid and I didn't blog a bit. I didn't really move much. I just sat in bed alone playing and watching TV. This Monday is a long weekend so I don't have to start...
The plans for today are in flux. As I was turning the key to lock the back door, my phone rang. My co-worker informed me that our boss has tested positive for Covid-19 and I should not come in to work. My mind floods with different thoughts and possible futures. Suddenly I might have to deal with adult living in a new home, while sick. I'm not...
Technically my Thursday at the bus stop but only my second day of work because discovered I didn't have any way to pay for the bus so it took the day off despite it being only my second day. I will stand by my testimony but it was a legitimate mental health day I couldn't pay for my bus I freaked out of all of that and then realized it was better...
It's hard to describe in words the way that I tend to freak out. It's kind of like... An explosion of thoughts followed immediately by a vacuum of no thoughts. In a moment I am aware of the failure and all the ways it will effect me and any others involved, and the a peace wave where I just stop thinking and want to go to sleep. My mind then...
I know I should not be concentrating on the negatives but... I'm still smiling despite the setbacks. The amount of failing can hopefully make a numerous story. I am still sporting my long hair and full beard. Apparently all the neighbourhood barbers close at 6 or are the over $45 haircut stylists. I found a place to go to directly after work...
I foolishly thought all bus stops were equal on the Queen West line, so I missed the earlier one, but Google maps says I should still arrive before 10 I'm on it now, and it is cool and bright and I found a seat although I'm conscious about still being a bit smelly. I'm still wearing the same jeans (unwashed) and orange hoodie. That is one of...
This bedroom is awesome. My bed is awesome. The heavy fluffy comforter is awesome. I sleep motionless and deeply. The waking up part is less awesome. I walked a lot yesterday and I'm not used to that yet, so my muscles remind me of that when I stand. I'm telling myself that will get better as it becomes more accustomed to the new routine, rather...
I have not really had a sit at a desk all day job. It's been 25+ years since I've worked a job at all. This is a big life change in a few ways. I arrived promptly a few minutes before 10am with a bit of anxiety but as I entered, that was put to rest. It's a job among friends. The two principles have known me for decades. They know me and my...
This of course may fade away until I recycle it again as my dream. It combines all my ideas. Helping people with a trust relationship. Encouraging discussion over the validity of ideas or business ideas. Creating communities and providing guidance on interaction. Learning from trusted faces Referrals are the best Manners because it's closed by...
I haven't been this busy in over 2 years so of course I sleep till 4:00 p.m. It's 4:30 now and I want to go back to sleep. I didn't answer two calls both of which were quite vital. One I've been waiting for from a client capable of paying a salary-based contract fee. Just wasn't the right time. I'm making people hate me.
The last two years started this week. Job loss, car loss, home loss. I managed to find a new home for 70 days and then a new home again where I am now. It happened fast. This time I'll have some money and need to find a home fast again but without relying totally on luck and the kindness of friends. And yet- it seems harder than finding a free...
There is a phycology principal that describes the way failure can become a part of your identity. It makes change difficult because the future is unknown, but one's present lifestyle has become comfortable. I am aware of this. I understand it. I am conscious that I may be terrified of my future so much so, that I sabotage the opportunity to...
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