After centuries of living together as roommates on this planet, we still struggle with borders and fight for ideas nobody seems to be truly happy without somebody to put down and feel superior to. We politely agree to share a math and a calendar, and most have settled in on a standard of...
ADHD

11pm. Still counts
Jetpack knows people like continuity. It sends me a message telling me how many days streak I have been posting blogs in hopes that that inspires me to keep it up and of course it does. Today I went in town with Doug and we did a few things at a few stores. Third week...

Anticipation to Trouble
Blog and video about the fear and anxiety of “the talk” that I have been told is pending.

Watching my Webcams
These two webcam excerpts were filmed on the same day, with a few meth hits in between.

YouTube and me.
I knew eventually my worlds were going to collide and people would find out about the drug side of me that has crossed the line for most people. Heroin and meth seem to be the drugs that scare people more than the others. They'll still be friends with you if you smoke...

March 5th 2024
Today my sister came close to yelling at me, but didn't. Still the feel of spontaneous anger caused by me took her by surprise. I guess in the 5 months of being here, shed witnessed very few failures and taking care of making sure the dogs get fed and watered is vital...

The gate I invented instead of sleeping.
It's just past midnight on a mid December Monday. My brain is thinking of the connections that had to have happened previous to tonight that led me to my latest iteration in my mind of the auto closing farm gate. My early days on the farm involved occasionally being a...

Comparing Better
There is no denying that living in a bedroom that is almost 100° f is a bed that is infested with bed bugs that eat away at you each night by the hundreds in a house owned by an unpredictable control freak with lots of issues is not a healthy environment. My current...

I remember Sunday Nights
I don’t consider it a relapse because it was never my intention to quit. I do see the irony of trying to keep my usage a secret while maintaing a public blog.

1am Again.
I can't tell if my insomnia today is real or in my mind. I'm not sure that it matters all that much, because either way, I'm still awake at 1:00 a.m. and I anticipate it's made last the whole night. Early this morning I blogged about how small a quantity of meth smoke...

Thursday Morning Muse
A good first message if you’re new here. My life snapshot.

The challenge of challenges
Since I figured out a little bit more about how my brain works and what I need to be productive, it's been a a benefit and a negative. I can use it as a crutch to not be productive simply because I'm not doing one of the things that allows me to be productive, if that...

Emotional restoration
I don't know how long it's been since I gave up using drugs, at least temporarily. I think it's been about two no three weeks. That doesn't sound right because it's only October 4th, but I remember sober weekends and I've been eating a lot more food, which means...

Things are methed up
There was a brief time when things looked like they were going to be alright. I was on the prescribed dosage of amphetamine and Paxil and I wasn't depressed. I was confident and doing OK. Today I am not. I still have some of that newly discovered confidence, and I...