As I was typing a typical long winded wordy reply to a video, a new thought occured to me. We use our word choice to signal our peers. This may seem obvious but it just occurred to me tonight. I use a vocabulary and sentence structure that is showing a certain level of intelligence. Other...
Doing pretty much the same thing every day doesn't necessarily get easier. For someone with attention deficit disorder it can actually get more difficult because each day it becomes less interesting and the temptation to be creative and look for ways to make it fun can actually distract and make...
Sometimes the parent says it's bed time and sometimes the brain insists it'll be fine if we hit the Tina pipe again before sleep This is as dumb as so many things we let ourselves pretend to believe, in order to pull from the instant gratification puddle for another...
I have a 10gb data plan on my phone. Now that I am actually leaving my home more than once a month, it was time to upgrade. I will be traveling alone for two hours each morning and returning each evening. I can look out the window some days but it was clear I'd be...
You see an online virtual mall filled with flashy storefronts and top notch animated advertisements everywhere. You walk down the pathway in awe at how many options there are to spend money on a seperate universe. You see a new store is opening up where the old...
It's not like there is any real significance to weekends when you're at home 24/7. I still honour our cultural traditions and not get high till Friday. But I got high not remembering it was Friday. This week went by fast for me because I have important work, and I've...
People say drugs change you. Your whole personality changes because of addiction. I understand that statement, and a self evaluation is hard, but I can certainly think about a few ways I've changed. I can imagine my close friends might notice even more changes. I had...
I was distracted to the bright moon out my window. It changed the overthinking. I have so many current projects that were exciting before sleep and after waking up, I embrace my now and never give all my recorded media blogs a second draft. The joy in writing is...
I have do much to share but let's see what gets retained long enough for the blog. I flip flop a lot. Often several times a minute as I internally debate decisions. If I stall long enough somebody else will make it. My phyciatrist has a standard procedure of always...
It's never a good idea to start any lecture or essay or book, or any piece of writing or talking. Let's just say it's never good to start with; I've completely forgotten what I was going to say. When I say I've completely forgotten what I was going to say, in that...
I woke up this morning and stayed up. It's almost noon and instead of sleeping back to back. My dreams over the last week have been vast and elaborate. They somehow got linked to duty and dreaming was a part of a mechanism. I felt ok to be sleeping as a day job. No...
Back to work. It's the Tuesday after labour day. I started work early but it didn't last too long as I have little actual work, and I'm still fighting my home based depression. I put a desktop computer on a pop up table at the end of my bed. I don't have to get up to...
My Regularly Scheduled Friday. Today feels like the right day. I distinctly remember each day of this week, and although I wasn't up to my usual productive levels, I did actually interact and produce some work each day. Not a lot of work and not the stuff I planned or...
It's hard to convey how warm my workspace is. Recently I took 8 pieces of my cholate bar out of the fridge. Normally I take 4 at a time. After I'd enjoyed the first bar of 4 pieces, I reached for the second 4 and my fingers were surprised by the texture. The 4 pieces...
It's been a bad week, and I know it was the wrong choice to remain in my bedroom, silently avoiding the confrontation that must happen today. Predicting outcomes with worry and stress is never a good plan, but when your landlord could kick you out with anger and no...
It's Wednesday of the week back work week and as of 5pm, I've done nothing. I had a glorious uninterrupted restorative sleep last night during a thunderstorm. I woke up at 730 and then went back untill about 1045. Since then I've just sat around playing on my phone...
I had intentions to make this a good Monday and followed through. Not the best of days, but a somewhat productive day. I started early, having learned the key to success is not falling back in bed for a second sleep. The sun wakes me around 730. I don't know why I am...
I woke up this morning and stayed up. It's almost noon and instead of sleeping back to back. My dreams over the last week have been vast and elaborate. They somehow got linked to duty and dreaming was a part of a mechanism. I felt ok to be sleeping as a day job. No...
This isn't the first time I have sincerely been surprised to discover it is Friday. I ever seem to live Thursdays anymore. I really believed today was Thursday. Another entire week has passed and I've done almost nothing but sleep, dream, and write about sleeping and...
I may or may not.
There are several things in my life that I would like to be different from right now. Making a list of them may be depressing because a lot of them are probably easy fixes and minor changes. I would like to be able to shower. Right now. This instant. I would...
Loud bright thunderstorms I stayed up. I hope the heat breaks. I'm a little afraid, to be honest. I'm living in a trigger sensitive situation where a volatile person may lose control of his temper this morning. AT ME I currently hear the sound of a...
I keep tumbling some of my ideas around trying to believe they could work. As noted though, ideas are just the start and I'm seldom here for the work. I wondered if a personal assistant might handle reception, scheduling and Web projects. In exchange for the hobby,...
I'm giving this one a second try. At the very least, you know, isn't quite as distracting. But I'm very easily distracted. I mean, something took me away from pizza. Not right don't go on camera when they're eating pizza. doesn't seem right for the day Really is...
They have a saying that anyone could be president and some people laugh that off. But the truth is, anyone probably can become president. If managed by smart people. All you need to do is be some people's favorite. And they'll bulk that in and buy everything you're...
0:04 I absolutely hate when one single click. Takes me so far away from what I was doing that sometimes I don't make it back. Period. Tonight was therapy. I shared who I am, with someone seeking approval that I'm just interesting enough to want to see more, period. I...
The idea of stories we tell our own stories and my stop here. I don't feel motivated to expand upon my universal stories just now. It's better to cling to it, with high hopes and optimism. Say it out loud, realize how lame might be.
The couple I find myself living with now are pretty close to perfect, almost in a Stepford wives way. They are forgiving, patient, understanding and best of all, they don't yell and fight. I feel bad of course for being me, and doing secret drugs all the while...
There's an old saying if it's too good to be true it probably is it's an odd statement for sure because lots of things are good or true however it has come to my attention while trying to fall asleep that my current situation might just be too good to be true. True...
Live Streamed from my bed on a Sunny Sunday afternoon [widget id="wpwws_widget-19"] [useyourdrive dir="drive" account="103565702162300383126" mode="video" viewrole="administrator|author|contributor|editor|subscriber|guest" downloadrole="all"]May 3rd - Webcam 1...
Since birth, I have been inventing games.I hardly do anything in a row without turning it in to some game. It's been a mechanism of not feeling repetitious and boring When you have to be repitious and borning. Not biring... just less interesting. It occurs to me that...
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I did a few things I don't usually do . I started new tasks and set forth ... I stalled doing real things, but I did feel productive. I had been enjoying alternative TV programming, using an old Android TV Nexus box and it's been great. This week, I switched to...
I woke up from another dream at around 7am today, a Wednesday, but it was a fresh awake wake-up. The first I've had since my medication screw up almost 3 weeks ago. I stood up, and didn't lay back down again. I sat at the computer and started my morning work routine...
I woke up from another dream at around 7am today, a Wednesday, but it was a fresh awake wake-up. The first I've had since my medication screw up almost 3 weeks ago. I stood up, and didn't lay back down again. I sat at the computer and started my morning work routine...
I'm not sorry. I do not regret today's desision... But of course, I'd say that now, still under the influence of a euphoria I previous denied. I am euphoric and creative and excited. I have been writing all night. My normal behaviour was to take some MDMA and try to...
Frogstar World C (The Orange Window Universe) The First Draft of tis will be amazingly different than the one I share. I exp[ect it will be good enough to be praised. ALL YOU NEED TO CHANGHE YOUR UNIVERSE IS ONE FAN TO SHARE IT WITH All you need is one fan to...
At first I didn't see the amount of smoke on the exhale that I expected, so of course - I did another one. Another few actually. Still no exhale smoke. I did some nice long rips too. I remember being complimented on how big an inhale I could do back when I...
... but mother, I don't like beets. My father had only one rule about food, no two. No beets Clean your plate. It was a thing. Something to remember because only having one thingf you won't eat, is a strong way to say you'll eat anything. Neat dad memory to start off...
I traced mans fascination with technology and gadgets back to the invention of the cord. Even more than the plug or even the invention which some nerds might enjoy retelling. One unexpected side effect of our current generation correction is that people suddenly...
If you believe that the story is the only prize. The story is all. The storyeller are the winners. If you believe in the story, then there is little difference between good and bad. If you understand the power of creating your own stories, then any situation no longer...
Details of my imagined life are real, or as real as any story being told as truth. There is a line in the very first Jurrasic Park by Jeff Goldbloom; "Life finds a way"... argh. Is it Life will find a way? In any case, it stuck with me that our bodies and minds are...
A literal stumble of shame, with un showered hair mess, and the same clothes I wore yesterday. Not orange. I almost fell as I made the path from bed to chair. 5 feet past the spoiled milk trap and the 4 day old pee trap. stop everything. I can't tell if I hear a cat,...
What we hope for today is to be here tomorrow because we have added into our universe the knowledge and imagination if many ways to die today, both alone in your universe, or us all... Give or take 8 billion. Ding. When we are told earth now hasv7.5 billion people and...
VR live Skype. He sees 180 from home while silent cameraman goes to interesting places via avatar A serogate Works equally well in both universes. ...... Other dream idea. Caren and I team up and couchvsurfvwithvacdailyvtv show. Couch durfveothvacdsilybtv show. One...
Another glorious side effect of the power of Understanding everything about my theory of stories can be understood overtime Ok I am over this Hill and willing to accept help but Stop The but is the failure wanting to corrupt your joy too. I got to see it, identify it,...
A telling remark from a friend about why she just didn't get why the idea of Second Life was so great. She said something like, "why not just do things in this life". She doesn't get it. That's fine. I didn't for a half dozen years either. Here is a statement I...
Are you the get things done kind of person? You're hired. ... Community job board in SL Dating game Preset date packages Russian bride roleplay ,....... Craigslist. I am a very real male over 50 that is honestly not doing so well living alone. I am a genuine polite...
I watch the sketch on cbc's this hour has 22 minutes tonight about a woman who was the happiest woman in Canada. The sketch then went on to portray her as a complete lunatic It bothered me because for the first few examples of her happiness was in line with the way...
Quickie. Could it be the weed all along. The weed brings with it, my creativity booster, and the willingness, almost compulsion to write or blog or talk into the camera. I should be interacting but that's harder and takes prep before the weed kicks in. I don't think...
It's Saturday at 1am. That was the ultimatum time I gave myself at midnight to be asleep. I thought; if I'm still awakke at 1, I'll give eup and stop trying. I've spent a lot of sleepless nights laying stil pretending to be asleep, but it's clear the large dosage of...
THEN REVIEW Goodmorning, goodafternoon and good evening. I'm Jeff Goebel, and this is my daily conversion of my day, into stories. Something has changed. I noticed it, made mental note, and then almost went back to sleep. I wasn;t enjoying myself as much, and at the...
I suddenly motioned awake. Am I remembering that somebody is re releasing a commercial Commodore 64? Is that happening, it was that a dream? Here is something an old man would say,, y know, back in my day we learned how to play a game because we bought it in a...
OOPS. I went off my meds and forgot. I had forgotten to take my Paxil regularly, and I was off the other stuff for a few days. On December 29th, I cried. Spontaniously, without warning. i had no friends to call. Nobody to talk to. then I remembered, took the Paxil...
Since I knew I'd be up late tonight, I looked for something new to do. I found something old, but new again. Tinychat. A web based video social chat site that I've been a fan of for over a decade. I've never been a huge fan of computer chat because essentially t has...
Nobody would dare print the headkline, but the Rose Parade is the biggestPride parade of them all. Not Gay pride nessesarily, but personal pride. Its an exstravugant over the top spectacular that allows anyoneand everyone to hold aflag and feel apart of something...
If you honour the joy of giving, then being the somebody that told a lot of people a lot of stuff, in general wisdoms to answering questions, teaching, mansplaning or technical support. I have seeen so many smiles at the moment of realization and joy as people learn...
I don't think I have mentioned how I only recently I realized how I used to turn anything and everything into a game. I tried to make dull fun enough to get through. If it isn't a game, it's watching the patterns and pretending you care which one wins. I used to cheer...
First flash. Government is designed as a cover story and it runs pretty much like a Christopher guest movies.a plot to stick to in order to get to the end. I'd like to believe government is a one, telling the story as choice. In much the same way general motors used...
It's December first. I didn't do November,.. I didn't even have a fajitas party. Only the second month I've !issued since I started. I really didn't go out much, and now as I therapy write at the speed of thought again, I'm getting worse. A lot of what I think these...
Today was a bad day. The third in a row. If we're counting, my hosting company has let my customers down four times. Four overnight downs. 2 fir mail, and twice for web but I only actually remember web once before. In any case, I've been caught using the same...
I had an interesting car cionversation while driving with a friend. I was eagerly expressing some of my views about how the greatest story teller wins, and some of my deeper story based philosophies. We got into some of the real truth about lies, and it was disturbing...
I can feel it in the air tonight is a perfect first line for tonights live brain trascript. I packed a big bowl and toked some deep bowls. This is on top of the last of my acid. But it's there... closure on my terms. This trip is not the first to have that feeling of,...
This blog post was written previously, and not posted because I wrote it high, and didn't complete it... and then everything changed and I kind of forgot. I feel today was a day that deserves to be told, even if I don't want to. This blog should not happen. It is me,...
I'm torn between two topics to write about tonight. The four women in my life. One, currently living with me while she comes to grips with her new reality and admits she needs help. Like decison making for you kind of sick help. However, as of today, I am her...
On ecstacy Hey. From the first time we chatted on the webcam site years ago, I knew I like you. A peer with storues, no fear of drugs, and similar likes to mine.I rememenbr duing our initial chats, I was asking fr guidance. I knew I could love you, but I remmebr you...
Craigslist Ad (Not Posted) A stoner version of that. Not hookups, but like pen pals. Virtual stoner friends. Not birtual, digital. A guy or gal to try and see if ytoy clkick. When both do, lifelong friend. Diversity Anyone can click. Math is compatible. Our crazies...
Plan. Cop knows what youre doing is wrong, they look the other way for income. He takes a scim. So easy. Manageable risk, especially if they all cover for each other. Cop mafia. All cops are, until they screw up and have to come cl;eran as an iscolated incident with a...
Thnis is what I want to do in 2013. Make videos. Instructional computer videos, with my personbality I know a lot of shuit that people would benefir from knoiqwn, and my personal hands on experience with novices opver 20 years has tyaughht me one thing my competoitors...
Idea: I crieque shows as I watch them… On WEEEED. I can pause and rant. Somebody edits and posts as a syndication to stoner stores. Only one per city or region. My column… On weeeeed (reference Jon Stewart referebnce abnd respecxt to what’s his name. Oh I feel...
Weed high With some week blotter sold as lsd. Suspect. Anyway, juist had an extreme e orgasm. Heartrate changing wow. Need rest and recouperate. Won’t happen. 9:02 on a Sunday. Almost every time Insit down on weed, and start to type shit into private jouyrnals, long...