As of 3:30 this morning, there is a stealth cat loose in my bedroom. It has made falling back to sleep slightly more difficult than usual. Actually, the falling asleep part isn't so hard bit waking up out of my usual sleep cycle routine is the distressing part. The cat makes a slight and time...
I probably won't get to sleep till after midnight but I rest. I had plans to go out tonight but instead spent my money on food a few other things. I'm on a tight budget this month trying to make all my payments without them slipping into next month which isn't as profitable as this month. This is...
Since I don't have children, it follows that I don't have grandchildren so I won't sit around when I'm old telling my war stories to anyone who will listen. That's what blogs are for. No one has to listen, and in fact no one is really reading this continuing saga but...
3am. You seem anxious. We'll, I heard a rumour you were going to not use meth today. Let me make a case against that. (Falls back asleep) 4:00am Ok, so I'm assuming that nonsense about quitting today is behind us. Can you tell me if we'll start right at 5am when he...
I'm not saying that the rooster trusts me now or that we have any kind of relationship but it does seem as though he's less confrontational now. He's finally figured out I'm the one that's feeding him and the battle isn't worth it. I think it's been 3 days where...
The pig eats quite well. This stew is not for the humans of the house. It is put together in a huge pot that lasts about a week as I scoop out a portion each night and it gets combined with four handfuls of official pig grain for a delicious tasty meal every night....
When people on a diet want a piece of cake they declare a cheat day. There doesn't seem to be any rule except that all rules are out the window. I've been setting very tiny goals for myself each day but today I didn't get much done at all. It's 4:00 p.m. now and I go...
I was in my room the other day making videos as I am want to do and I realized I couldn't find my orange hat. In Canada we call them toques and I'm not sure I know how to spell it. In the states like thank you call them beanies but essentially they're just winter hats...
I had a fall this morning. It was scary shit for a short while because it was a multi-stage fall knocking over various things as I tried to save myself on the way down. I don't remember what started it. Things like happen unexpectedly and you're not concerned about...
Warning. This blog was voice transcribed from the bathroom after feeding but I don't have my teeth in so I noticed a lot of errors. I should probably go and edit it manually but I'm pretty sure I won't. Not much has changed over the past while. The rooster still tries...
Today was a special Monday, or at least it is supposed to be. It is the day I planned to finally throw out the secret garbage I've been keeping in my room for far too long. I call it secret garbage because I wouldn't want to throw it out using the normal procedure...
It's 3:14 in the afternoon on a Sunday. Pie time I sometimes call it although there It's almost never any pie. I miss pie. A good old-fashioned cafeteria style apple pie is hard to find these days. Swiss Chalet still sells one although restaurant desserts are a little...
Second Life is a simulation of our universe except better
So the rooster has figured out this none shall pass power that he has When he standing where I need to be and I can't get by. We waited out As I inch and inch. Gaining ground until such time as I can squeeze past while maintaining eye contact at all times. He tries to...
Today's adventures with the rooster involve them hanging out by the door. I don't like this. They want to be fed earlier and I'm already feeding them an hour earlier than I was last week. Unfortunately today I just discovered that my defense of stick and both the...
Recently I started blogging a lot more about life and my simple day job feeding the backyard farm animals. Not mentioning my meth habit. I've always been a little internally proud of my writing style even if half the time I lose interest in the middle and quit early....
Not much to report him the human versus rooster wars today. Ever since our epic battle he seems to understand that I need to get to the food area to feed them and today he let me walk by him back towards the house. He still feels a little uneasy eating if I'm in view...
8:48 am. A big solid one. Hard. No meds last night. Not satisfying but needed.
There is a stereotype of old grumpy men spouting off opinions about how horrible today's music is or the clothing styles. My father's favorite thing to gripe about was how fast things were moving today compared to not long ago. And that was 25 years ago. I noticed it...
I'm not really sure that my sleep issues are resolved. It does however appear that I may have found at least part of the problem. I still have constipation issues, and I'm still peeing more than I should but last night was particularly rough. I was only getting about...
Today's Rooster adventures were a little different. Due to some sleep issues I'm working out, I slept in and didn't get downstairs till 745 instead of my usual 720/730ish I used to start even earlier but decided the neighborhood probably benefitted from the extra 30...
When I can out the door for the afternoon feed, the weak chickens that linger in different circles are always first to detect me, and the waddle towards me. Over the past couple of days I've tried to death feed them their own portion before the rooster and his harem...
I learned the name of the rooster's mojo but I prefer calling it the rooster anyway because calling it by its name implies some form of relationship. I suppose in a way we do have an adversarial relationship he wants to attack me and I want to avoid being attacked. He...
I'd fed them. I was posing no threat.i was almost inside the house but I showed my back to the Rooster and somehow it magically transported 40 feet and lunged. It was so fast and startling I honestly don't remember the details. It didn't make contact as my telec3s...
It's become clear that there is very little that is interesting about my tasks. Blogging everyday about feeding the chickens, avoiding the rooster, feeding the chickens again and letting the dogs out, and then going to feed the pig just as his owner comes home and...
As soon as I did it I knew I made the wrong decision and now I'm not sure what to do next. I've been having constipation issues and there are three main types of laxatives. I've gone through a process of the first type and didn't really help with my issue. Yesterday I...
Rough start to the day. My first official work day where I am in charge of the animals morning afternoon and evening and potentially already lost a cat. It's freaking me out. I did everything fine but you know how easy it is for me to get distracted and I didn't fully...
I'm feeling more stressed than I need to be,but that doesn't really help. Then again, my stress has always been pretty mild. Since I go with the flow about everything, worrying about the future is a useless pastime. He starts a job tomorrow that will take him out of...
I forget his name, but I don't remember anything from my past I wanted to kill more. I dream about the ways. Roosters are kind of useless most of the time. This one is all up in your space, and if I'm not careful, he'll make my ankles bleed. I want to kick him like a...
That could be any number of things of course. My whole life is pretty much doing the same things as closely as possible. Notices. Just teens no decisions Sorry about that It seems having my teeth in really helps speech recognition. The thing that I was referring to...
Last night I had several ideas for good blog entries and I started off with full intention blogging right after I smoked some weed. It is the next day and clearly none of that happened. I smoked weed. In the past that has inspired me to write, but unfortunately I want...
It sounds familiar in my head but to be honest I'm not positive my mother's birthday is July 7th. I think it is and they're all purposes, that means it is. I create my own canonBut this post isn't really about my mother. I stopped thinking about them for the most part...
I feel rather silly telling you this but it's a good story so I don't mind. I recently moved back into Toronto to downtown West. The previous times I've lived in Toronto it has been well out into the suburb neighborhoods. I'm in Parkdale which is the west side poor...
You see an online virtual mall filled with flashy storefronts and top notch animated advertisements everywhere. You walk down the pathway in awe at how many options there are to spend money on a seperate universe. You see a new store is opening up where the old...
I moved back to Toronto and found a nice little place for the first month to stay started work on Monday and on Thursday I left early. Friday we were closed for the whole next week with covid and I didn't blog a bit. I didn't really move much. I just sat in bed alone...
The plans for today are in flux. As I was turning the key to lock the back door, my phone rang. My co-worker informed me that our boss has tested positive for Covid-19 and I should not come in to work. My mind floods with different thoughts and possible futures....
I foolishly thought all bus stops were equal on the Queen West line, so I missed the earlier one, but Google maps says I should still arrive before 10 I'm on it now, and it is cool and bright and I found a seat although I'm conscious about still being a bit smelly....
Today is Sunday. My practice day to see that I can wake up and get things done. I won't say I'm failing already, but it certainly wasn't a totally slow start. It's 10:30 and I feel like I will tackle my to-do list today out in the sun and feel better about it. I am...
It's 6am and even though I asked and she said no, when 8 asked again, I ended up changing her plans and spending the whole night talking. It's what I wanted and I get high enough to believe it's enjoyable. I know interaction with high women who I click with is the...
I'm near tears right now, but managing. I had high hopes for a call from my doctor. I had plans of what to say. 45 seconds later, we were saying goodbye and I said nothing. I hate that. I hate myself right now. I accomplished nothing. I didn't get anything I was going...
It's not like there is any real significance to weekends when you're at home 24/7. I still honour our cultural traditions and not get high till Friday. But I got high not remembering it was Friday. This week went by fast for me because I have important work, and I've...
People say drugs change you. Your whole personality changes because of addiction. I understand that statement, and a self evaluation is hard, but I can certainly think about a few ways I've changed. I can imagine my close friends might notice even more changes. I had...
Over the years I have created a number of different tricks to start my day better. I know what I need to do to wake up and start being productive. As soon as I realize I'm up, I turn on all the lights to full brightness and stand up and stretch. The key is to not go...
I have formed my belief that I live very much in the now. I am paying attention to my surroundings and being self aware. When I do something .. anything really, the thought has been vetted. I have thought up the consequences in so many ways. I understand now how...
This is a blog that's going to start off talking about the loud noises going on right now at 8:00 p.m. on Monday. The decision to make this blog about that topic was decided upon spontaneously as I was writing the subject title of this blog. The title of this blog...
One of my unfinished projects was to write a fiction. A short story or a novel if I felt up to it. In my mind it made a good TV series and I could be a millionaire if I only told someone about it. I have two chapters and I might be inspired to write more now and then...
I have do much to share but let's see what gets retained long enough for the blog. I flip flop a lot. Often several times a minute as I internally debate decisions. If I stall long enough somebody else will make it. My phyciatrist has a standard procedure of always...
I was going to start this vlog with the game, second life. That was my whole opening line. Second life. It occurred to me that that's the kind of thing old men probably old women at some point start to yell out random words like that. This could even be what some...
My plan is to be recording by audio, and there's this important to all that. Okay. Water, oops, live brain transcript, Canadian Thanksgiving October 11 2021 Coming up day drinks water. So the story so far. I just got high. And it's, it was at 420, in the afternoon on...
Mental Profile As I was laying in bed tonight I realized this needed to be written. I couldn't go to sleep without waking up and writing down this latest idea of mine. The world has recently adopted the term mental health to include all of those who have some...
I got distracted on my way to writing this blog because it's 10:35 on the first Saturday of October and it occurs to me that I will probably be up at least another hour and could watch Saturday night live season premiere live for the first time in 2 years at least....
It's Wednesday of the week back work week and as of 5pm, I've done nothing. I had a glorious uninterrupted restorative sleep last night during a thunderstorm. I woke up at 730 and then went back untill about 1045. Since then I've just sat around playing on my phone...
I'm giving this one a second try. At the very least, you know, isn't quite as distracting. But I'm very easily distracted. I mean, something took me away from pizza. Not right don't go on camera when they're eating pizza. doesn't seem right for the day Really is...
They have a saying that anyone could be president and some people laugh that off. But the truth is, anyone probably can become president. If managed by smart people. All you need to do is be some people's favorite. And they'll bulk that in and buy everything you're...
0:04 I absolutely hate when one single click. Takes me so far away from what I was doing that sometimes I don't make it back. Period. Tonight was therapy. I shared who I am, with someone seeking approval that I'm just interesting enough to want to see more, period. I...
Have u mentioned the rock bottom practice of burning the brown spots off my collection of pipes. I don't clean, I conserve. I deckareto my usual tea party friends I was out and would be for a while. Zeppelin. I can hear my heartbeat kind of like a hirserace. I reach...
Imagine for a moment what it might be like to have a disconnect in your brain that spontaneously allowed for a second awareness. A second consciousness that remains seperate from your normal everyday life. For me, I am starting to figure out that my stoned...
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Disclaimer. As of November 14th when I wrote this, Vera Macdonald was alone and thriving on Facebook. The Vera I refer to in this blog is a fake Romanian Vera Macdonald, trying to get me to pay for my winnings. Conversation Information Vera Macdonald WED 4:52 AM...
Previously I had found the polar opinions about meth usage on Tumblr an interesting mix. Many of the people were declaring their love for the drug, posting pictures and memes of their enjoyment and love others were posting negative imagery, often declaring they...
Although I enjoy the drug chat rooms, they are probably bad for me. They keep me active and wanting to be high more, to belong and avoid any suspicion that I project on them. I'm not typical so I feel I might be feared as an under over. I say stupid things sometimes....
I'm enjoying life despite the empenfing doom. I'm having fun. Making friends and being me. Awkward and odd in all my glory. I'm saying dumb sjit and apologizing and nobody seems to hate me. They forgive and move on. Ironically these new friends are all from a...
Sometimes I amaze myself with what I'm willing to do to appease others. In this case, it's as much appeasing myself I suppose. I'm mici g up emotions in my head. This week I happened to acquire $100 in cash. This is money that rightfully should be dedicated to paying...
I'd like to think I could be honest again, because I think I'm worth a second look. I only feel this is true. When I'm high. I did a huge thing today. I just did it. I got high on a drug that isn't weed. Let me lead into that. I have a story. I'm an interesting...
COMMUNITY BASED BROADCAST STUDIO#torontodrugs#canadadrugsDreams that actually came true.FROGSTAR.TV is part of the Frogstar family of related sites.KIK chat group website #torontodrugs#canadadrugs Access to this website from Canada only. This page was created to...
It turns out we do thank God it's Friday. Old English Frīgedæg ‘day of Frigga’, named after the Germanic goddess Frigga, wife of the supreme god Odin and goddess of married love; translation of late Latin Veneris dies ‘day of Venus’, Frigga being equated with the...
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About 10 years ago, I signed the card that came with my driver's licence, allowing my organs to be donated when I die. I couldn't see any good reason not to because no matter what the after life turns out to be, I'm certain it won't be filled with the few hundred...
https://photos.app.goo.gl/WLgSBp6AYKHF5JQ47 I am already thinking I might not share this, but 15 seconds ago, I was pumped. I was going to give away some of my million dollar ideas, and I use that number to show how old I am. Any good idea is worth more than millions...
Pausenblog. A german word I just made up that translates to, blogging during the show. Live on webcam and streaming... not streaming tonight, because I can't figure the best place. I am watching the brand new MURDER MYSTERY, and I absolutly love it. 37:28 The...
I've been blogging on my bus and subway rides as a good way to work out my feelings and mindset in between therapy. It's helpful, and I recommend it, even if you don't really tell anybody about the blogs. They can still be therapeutic. It's the new socially...