I don't think about depression the same way anymore. I think about life more with sadness and frustration than I think about depression but I think it's all the same. I can't imagine what I'd be like if I wasn't taking my paxil daily. It allows me to be happy in the moments, masking the true...
I don't blog much anymore. I don't do much. Even when life events happen of any significance, like a gigantic bruise on my leg that is ever expanding after the pig attacked me earlier this week. I'm sleeping poorly most nights because my body has developed a new enhanced allergy to the 2000 bed...
Every now and then, for a brief moment, I reflect on the negative aspects of my situation instead of living in the positive thoughts. This is one of those moments.
It's 3:14 as I start to write this. Pie time. Earlier today I ate a fridge cold apple "pie" from McDonald's. It's not really a pie at all, but it did contain what appears and tastes like Apple in a hand holdable shape. They call it a pie. It's Monday. Sometime in...
I'm having one of those moments in life where I have to make a decision, or not. I have a lot of these moments and they go by without a blog post because I stall long enough that the decision is made for me. That will probably happen today as well, but before that, I...
Well, today was not the recessed day I was hoping for. I slept all of Friday. I slept some of today. Tv Tols little interest and I'm itchy everywhere. My arms and other parts are red and pimply from the scratching. I'm pretty depressed. I'm failing on several levels...
It's hard to quit when you still home some laying around on a mirror. I watch myself snort another line. At noon. Well, no sleep again tonight. Maybe Wednesday will be the new Monday. I knew to expect a bad week. A week of sadness. I knew it was a bad idea overall to...
I woke up from another dream at around 7am today, a Wednesday, but it was a fresh awake wake-up. The first I've had since my medication screw up almost 3 weeks ago. I stood up, and didn't lay back down again. I sat at the computer and started my morning work routine...
I think I'm watching a romantic comedy but I'm not quite sure. It's a NetFlix film. It hasn't made me cry yet, but I was halfway there before I started anyway. It's a Thursday. It's a weird week. I've been down more than usual because I'm not used to the poverty...
Ding. Right out of the gate, whoosh. The Zamboni of my mind is clearing the ice. What... Ding. Surprise check and I remember, but the guilt in my mind of ... There was a lot going on in my mind, but the closer I get to a reality the the more I tried to be more...
This has been a bad week. My recreational drug usage has had a lasting effect of extra sadness, in a time when regular sadness was at a peak. Things I noticed, from the mood pit. One thginjg that upsets me, is the lost potential of thoughts I experience from a...