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addiction

addiction

Funny how it works

Funny how it works

I can't seem to stop working on my projects now that I found ones I enjoy. I try not say; OK I'm done for now. I'm not done. I keep working. Tweaking, perfecting, adjusting until it's just right and then I move on to the next page. There is always more to do. More to...

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I can’t sleep forever.

I can’t sleep forever.

I have work to do. I smoked a bit of meth. I did my work. That's the story. I have enough pipe residue to repeat this a few more days as needed. I have no idea whether pipe white is as strong as a shard, but today it has been enough to get me up and working. I should...

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First day. New day.

First day. New day.

The weather is getting cooler. The rooster and three hands are still waking up and expecting to be fed, which is fine. The dogs, or more specifically one of the dogs, seems to be trying out something new. Barking. Barking and whimpering and whining for no apparent...

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Saturday – long naps

Saturday – long naps

I'm trying to extend the last tiny bit of the drug I have remaining. I started off using some of my brown burn surplus. It provides the exact same amount of white smoke upon exhale but didn't give me any wake-up boost. I rolled over and went back to sleep. I don't...

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The way life works

The way life works

I've experienced it before. You probably have too. One of those phases of life when you feel the rut more than yesterday. More of the same. The loop of Thursday, although it can be any day. Another day of waking up, doing my chores, feeling like I want to go back to...

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Mid day report

Mid day report

Animals fed. I'm still sleeping in hour long increments bit I feel rested more. I want to sleep again. My body is sore. I briefly reached a point that is common among drug users the day they quit or shortly after. You'd look around and without that high, you see the...

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For the record.

For the record.

I day this as of 5pm on Tuesday. I will wake up and not do drugs tomorrow. I will be extra tired but I am extra tired today and I did drugs. My "job" consists of three 10 minutes feeding sessions and a more detailed pig session to end my day before 7pm. The rest of...

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Always an adversary

Always an adversary

I think we all need a nemesis or at least somebody that challenges us with opposing ideas for us to consider and learn from. Sometimes it's a Rooster, bit he and I have reached a point of acceptance for the most part. This week, the evil villain in battle with me is...

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Year One vs Now.

Year One vs Now.

I want to get this task done. I'll have the leave the house, takes buses, talk to people etc. I pull up the pipe, take a hit, put on some music and leave the house. That was what I liked about this drug. Energy, Focus, confidence and the ability to start and finish a...

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More private blogs again.

More private blogs again.

One of the early signs I'm off the wagon is 2am blogs and 4am blogs and 6am blogs and Second Life blogs. It means I'm staying up all night. I must have gotten high. It started with 5 Molly pills. I'd been without the pressed branded pills for about 2 years. The last...

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