The Orange Shirt Blogs

I'm down, and I've been kicked, but much like Chumba Wumba, you're never gonna keep me down. It just takes a little longer to get up again in cases like this. It's all in ones perspective I suppose. The one doing the kicking seldom has the same viewpoint as the one being kicked. From my perspective, I was given an opportunity to release myself from a bad situation and offered a better one. I moved out of an uncomfortable living space to a family home. My literal family. There were some adjustments to be made on both sides, but we seemed somewhat compatible. It was an adjustment for me, giving up a lot of the comforts of city life, like grocery and pizza delivery, and of course leaving everyone I knew. I became a farm hand. Reliant on the kindness of the farmer and his wife. Situations...

I have started using the terminology of "accept and adapt" as part of my positive outlook on big changes and small changes in life. Since I'm currently in the middle of a big change, moving from a comfortable life on the farm to a less comfortable situation, I'm currently in the place that would be the "accept and adapt" phase. The change is pretty significant, and some of the obstacles to overcome are currently still obstacles.   There are two ways to look at the immediate future, and I realize that some of those obstacles are just mental. They're in my mind, and accepting and adapting could be easier, but my brain is putting up some walls that don't need to be there. I am not so easily accepting and adapting this time. When I look back at my Niagara Falls life, it was much...

I almost made it a full year, or at least I think. I honestly can't remember if I had on at Christmas but I seem to remember.hoing without for the record.  It's moving day and I could only take a 50 pound suitcase. First try, 64. Second try 54. Third try I didn't weigh. I'm grumpy and I don't like it when I'm grumpy. Sadly I don't like Snickers..I know this is already a dated joke most of the world won't get the reference, but I think that commercial is one that will be remembered for a while. I needed a smile, do even if I'm the only one smiling, I don't care. There are a lot of mixed emotions today. Some guilt, especially for the tornado of a wreck I left the bedroom in. The bathroom and really, much of my existence here was in direct opposition to Doug's personality. He has the Accept...

I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle my drug use in the new home. Ideally, I should quit, but at the same time, it's a stressful situation and I need concentration and focus. I may just give up smoking and try other methods. We'll see. Tonight is my last night here in British Columbia, and I stayed up. Tomorrow I'm flying overnight, so I'll be awake then too, but then I won't have a source in Toronto. Not sure how that's gonna play out, but I have confidence in my dealer-finding abilities. 

Last night, I went to bed around 9:00 and turned off all the devices, but I didn't fall asleep right away. That's become more common these days for me to have a little bit of difficulty falling asleep early. I eventually figured I fell asleep around midnight, and then I woke up at 2:00, at 3:30, and at 4:00. I finally decided, "That's enough. I'm not gonna go back to sleep."   I'm doing my best not to worry about the changes that are upcoming, because it will happen and I'll accept it. I'll adapt. I'm confident enough in my skills at adaptation that I won't be homeless, and the universe will provide.   My biggest fear isn't compatibility this time. It's health and death, not mine, but the man who owns the house. My newest roommate is 87 years old, and although he seemed quite...