I live vicariously in the lives of strangers online as if I could participate. I wish I could be a party person. I've tried many times but I'm too inexperienced and awkward. I say the wrong things. The reality is that the life I think I'm missing out on probably doesn't exist anyway. I secretly...
party
It’s crazy but…
Another late night choice. To use, or ot to use there is no question.

First thing on Monday posts
Now this is how I start everyday but it's especially important on monday. Doesn't matter if you wake up tired if you can have a little party before you start the...
Alternate clouds on 420
Because you know we don't all smoke weed but celebrating 420 when you're not a weed smoker is no different than celebrating Christmas when you're not a...

I woke up late. Whoops
I woke up late. I slept past my alarm for the first time since I’ve been doing the chore. I thought it might happen. I was solo partying pretty hard last night.

A lot of forgetting this weekend.
I decided it was time to blog about my wild weekend since they don't happen very often. The landlord had invited his son over and we sat in the kitchen the three of us and got super high on weed and lines of coke. Lots of lines of coke.. I didn't sleep Friday but I...

I’m Chicken
I wish I had the nerve and the talent to properly express myself on websites and figure out how to meet people and mingle. I am a 59-year-old male with excellent communication skills. I'm a nice guy but I am asexual and have never really experienced passion or...

Another secret attempt at sharing
I'm almost 60 and about to stop using meth again. It puts my mind in a reflective mood reevaluating who I am, and what things I missed that might still be possible. It's part of a recurring trick my brain starts playing in an attempt to justify buying more drugs. I...

Non-Sexual Frustrations
I scroll through Tumblr or Reddit and the posts about drugs are always intermixed with drugs containing sex. Most frequently, lots of nudity and hard active sex. I want to be a part of that world, but I'm terrified, so I just ignore it. I don't even try. I stay...