It’s gone. Silly 2am accident and my last day is now.
Drug Posts
These blogs contain conversations related to drugs and drug use. In many cases, the blogs were written while high on various recreational substances. I warn that not all of these entries make sense, and they have not been proof-read.
Face Filter Fun
A small gallery of the things I played around with this weekend.
End of the month. End of the stash.
I certainly should have expected I'd use up my stuff quicker than expected but it seems fitting I will be out on the last day of January. I have no regrets for my usage going up. Despite being a little suspect in the purity department, I really enjoyed this binge. It may be some time before I buy in that kind of quantity of course. I have very little income remaining and now I have to try and...
Another secret attempt at sharing
I'm almost 60 and about to stop using meth again. It puts my mind in a reflective mood reevaluating who I am, and what things I missed that might still be possible. It's part of a recurring trick my brain starts playing in an attempt to justify buying more drugs. I try to convince myself there are tasks I would be doing if I had the focus high. In this case, it's about some of the social...
Daily Smoke. Daily Video
John Stewart once said something helpful about doing a daily show. You never have to worry about doing a bad one for long because you replace it tomorrow. This is not a great daily smoke video. One exhale, restyled as different versions of me.
Blah Thursday (Solved)
How to fix a blah mood in 31 seconds
My life as a raver
Back in the 90s, I used to be a raver. When I'm trying to appear cooler than I am, I tell people I used to rave every weekend from 95 till somewhere in early 2000 when the rules changed and the LSD dried up and I...
Four Pics
Random Photos from my Phone
Wednesday Blahs
Done work for the day, so I get spun and play.
Video Correction Request
Disguised excuses
Every now and then I take note of something in my life that is different than I remember it being. The question I always ask myself is, is this because of my drug use or because I'm almost 60 years old. The good news is, whichever one I wanted to be it can be. In some cases it would be beneficial to blame the drugs and say I'm going to be off them again next week. We'll see if it comes back or...
The Virtual Editing Room Floor
Stuff that didn’t get selected to share on my social media sites.
Monday Mix Extra
3am weather update. I have to finish clicking my lighter before his 3am alarm clock goes off so 2:50am is like last call.
The time between 3am and 6am
When I find myself awake and aware at 3am, it's usually clear I'll be up all night. Sometimes I can fall back asleep but these days it usually means I used some drugs too late or too often for sleep. At this point in the early morning, the effects of my Paxil have little effect, so I tend to start thinking about not sleeping, and that keeps me awake. At 3am on weekdays, he wakes up to ready...
Non-Sexual Frustrations
I scroll through Tumblr or Reddit and the posts about drugs are always intermixed with drugs containing sex. Most frequently, lots of nudity and hard active sex. I want to be a part of that world, but I'm terrified, so I just ignore it. I don't even try. I stay sexless and dull, scrolling by the fabulous tits wondering what my life could have been. Wishing of had a sexy drug girlfriend and liked...
Sunday Funnies
It’s Sunday, and in memory of the days gone by when I was excited to read the newspaper comics, today’s video has been modified to look like cartoons.
Saturday Sleep
I was tired most of the day yesterday. Considering how much meth I smoked trying to not be tired, it was a bit surprising. I figured today would be a good day to catch up on some extra sleep. On weekends, I get to sleep past 7am. I slept till about noon, with occasional wake ups to take my meds and drink some water. At noon, I decided it was enough, and I started my day with a few hits of wake...
Change of plans? No problem
I've always been adaptable to a change in plans at the last minute. At least I think I have. I know I don't mind postponing or cancelling. It ends my anxiety instantly. I suppose I get upset at the big plans I was looking forward to, but I try to not let change like that bother me. I like the universe making plans for me. Tonight I planned to go to sleep early and sleep maybe all day. My body...
Friday Meth Music Mix
I can almost remember
I had a good night's sleep and only woke up once I think just before midnight. Then again for the final time at 5:45 a.m. There's a unique state of mind that I'm not sure I've experienced before. I can remember having a dream, but not remember the dream. I definitely had a unique dream complete with all of the components that make up my dreams which are scripted scenes with detail and...
Too wide a net
Sometimes I think this blog is trying to do too much for me. It is my hobby and the silent friend I talk to when I need an outlet. It doesn't judge me. That might change. One of problems in life is that expectations of success are usually not close to reality. I don't like my dreams and goals. They're better left as dreams, because the realities are hard. Effort. I can dream without lifting a...
Two for Tuesday.
I started early, virtually the moment I woke up. Then again at noon at 5pm. If the pattern holds, I’ll do more after 6pm and try to sleep later.
Falling asleep is harder now
There are winter bugs keeping me awake at night. Well, and the meth too. It's probably the meth now that I think about it. In fact, I'm not even sure there are bugs.
Hyper Focus
Hyper Focus is real. It’s why I’m still making memes at 2am
Quickie Pics from Snapchat
Todays creativity flow.
Backstage Party
A short film by me staring various crazy characters on my staff.
Sunday TV Project
It’s only 2pm and I have accomplished a lot of fun projects. This is one of them.
Saturday Night Rerun
Did I already post this one from my phone?
Snake Charming Pipe
As I was recording this video it looked like an Indian snake charmer.
Two Thursday Clouds
Once I finally made the decision to not go to sleep on Thursday, I started making videos again. I didn't make as many but each time I make one I blow another cloud so it's a self-fulfilling cycle that gets me higher, and when I'm higher I want to make more videos which requires me to get higher. I won't say I've been super high because of the way my brain works but I've certainly been in a very...
4am Happy High
4am quickie clouds
Smoking on Camera
Testing new view with lots of windows active
Drug cultural appropriation
This is the second hand edited video I made this morning before 7am.
The rules of 4:20
When you wake up at 4:20 you have to respect it, and blow some clouds. Most people associate 4:20 with weed smoking, but I like to think the meth clouds dominate 4:20 AM
For no reason I’ll admit to
It's Saturday at 4,:30am. I woke up slightly off my regular schedule and broke a streak of consistency. I'd had several weird dreams related to non existent web design projects that seemed complex and broken, so I almost call them nightmares. I had a bit of a hunger so in keeping with the theme of inconsistency, I smoked a bit, ate a few soft cookies and decided to try a blog. I've become...
Friday video mix
Another music mix of today’s hits. Made by Filmora video app.
Focus Fuel Webcam Hit
Every day I turn on my webcams and start working on customer support issues, website updates, and my own project at club.frogstar. I stream this on the webcams but I don't usually talk much, so all you see is me working, or taking hits off the bong.
Thursday 5pm Meth Mashup
Not every day, but most days. Meth, music, mashup
Thursday Morning Mood
I slept well, and woke up refreshed. Almost instantly, I reached for my last piece of chocolate and the meth bong to start my day. I don't have guilt or regrets about this anymore. At this moment in time, I am ok with identifying as a daily meth user... At least to myself and my blog. I don't like to use the word addict because somehow that feels worse, and it seems to imply that it is a need...
Thursday Morning Muse
A good first message if you’re new here. My life snapshot.
Wednesday Morning
I quite like how this mini mix turned out with only a little bit of fiddling.
2am Wednesday
It wasn't a productive day and I had little to do officially, so I mostly tried to get higher, but this medication tops out for me. At a certain point, pretty much after 3 bowls or so, more doesn't help. More and more is wasted except for the purpose of making videos, so I made a lot more clips. I probably smoked more today than my heaviest days, and made quite a few clips to be included in...
Party on
A filtered version of an original I did last year.
Old Video. New Look
I took and old video and gave it new life
Remix. Old video new again
This is from 5 or 6 years ago, redone with today’s filters.
Cover shot
What an interview. I’m surprised they let me keep the bong.
Webcam Hits for December
A few times I blew clouds on the webcam in December
Last Updated on 4 weeks
December 2022 Recap
December 2022 was an always high month, so naturally, I made a lot of compilation movies.
Webcam Archive
I started streaming myself more starting in November. I am exposing the discussing and boring side of my life alone in this 12x12 room. This is the Archive as of today. [gallery type="google" view='photos' album_id='ACG1XVPvYVe2R78O9uBvQMFGh95XVUsRvqFmH74gzvB29jVPEKalukTU6YSQfTWJypw00bEigizE' media='videos' count='400' layout='masonry' thumb_size='150' crop_thumb='no-crop' main_size='1600'...
Saturday’s Effort
I really liked this mini meth music masterpiece. A short and sweet summary of the day
I know I’m not everyone
I refuse to acknowledge my doubt.
Art I want on a wall
I used tools to make this, but I really like the look.
Friday Photos
A few more pics I played with.
Black Light Clouds
I was always curious as to how black light would affect the white puffy clouds. Today, my black light arrived in the mail.
Unexpected Backfire
I have lost track of how much — or how little sleep I’ve had this week.
I’m missing out on a big part
Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll (or EDM) has been a partier's top 3 activities for decades. The drugs and music may have changed, and the rules for sex are not the same as in the 70s or 80s but music, sex and drugs are the party tools. I've been missing out on a major third and I'm almost 60. It's so hard scrolling through Tumblr or Reddit posts and seeing everybody talking sex. Everybody but me....
Meth Smoking with Extreme Stealth
I didn’t watch this video right away so I didn’t notice it was not working with the green screen.
New Site Promotion videos
Three new videos created for promoting this site.
The loop
I know I've talked about the loop before and honestly I know I've talked about a lot of different ones but this week I'm experiencing this week is the loop of doing the same thing over and over expecting different results where have I heard that before. I get high at night regret it and do it anyway the next night when I could have gone to sleep much earlier I don't like to be productive tonight...
Wednesday Edition
A rare video blog instead of typing.
Artificial Excitement
I've been working full days on the new website project over the holidays. On many ways I am impressed with myself, which of course leads me to suspect the good mood. I will find fault with my happiness soon enough. Onviously I am maintaining those hyper focus mostly because of my meth usage, which has been surprisingly low. That's because I amp up on the morning, and hardly stop working till...
The Club
I am a helpful person when I can be. I like to make people smile. My goals in life have always been to support of others in some way. I'm working on a new project that has been my idea for decades. ... I stop typing. It's late on Christmas night and I want to sleep... But apparently not enough to stay trying instead of doing a little more. Meth is not a "one more before bed" kind of drug. It's...
Christmas not Christmas Gallery
Photography and still images taken from videos all created in the last 24 hours.
Saturday Completion Music Meme
Another video of this morning’s high, compiled into 20 seconds.
Mini Movie Madness
On Christmas day, I did the same basic things I do on a normal day. I get high and make videos,
7am. Time to stop
Just trying some of the newer templates.
Like this
Close call. Shit news
when i gitta go, i gotta go
Drug gallery
Drug related Images and memes created by me.
I can imagine doing it, but I can’t do it.
I'm laying in bed at 2:45am thinking about all the stuff I need to do to get serious about my life-long website dream project. I'm getting old and it would be nice to find success for my next chapter. It would be nice to be validated by at least the recognition it was a good idea. Having a genius business plan means nothing if you don't get the help to do all the right things beyond the concept....
It’s Wednesday, right?
Birthday Eve 2019
I’m so sleepy. I’m yawning every few minutes and I want to just shut my eyes and sleep. I suppose …The Important Friday.
It turns out we do thank God it’s Friday. Old English Frīgedæg ‘day of Frigga’, named after the Germanic goddess …New Site Promotion videos
Sad Day
With no clear reason, today was a sad day. It reminded me of the weepy Wednesdays I’d often have after …
