Today is Sunday. My practice day to see that I can wake up and get things done. I won’t say I’m failing already, but it certainly wasn’t a totally slow start. It’s 10:30 and I feel like I will tackle my to-do list today out in the sun and feel better about it. I am thankful for the sun
I’m about a quarter through the second Pizza hut pizza that I bought and ate last night. I am thankful for the hut
I’ve already discovered that The biggest challenge will be to remain the reasonably tidy and not mess the place up. The last several years of my life I seem to have become more of a slob. It’s an easy habit to fall into because not being a slob is effort.
I am eager to see how my energy goes today. I think I may have underestimated how easily I will snap back into a productive life after such vigorous training being unproductive.
At first I was very disappointed that this temporary home I found is only a month long agreement. It seems like if I needed to find a place to live in Toronto there would be no better place than this. Now as I wake today and start the precursor to this new life, I realize it’s probably best to have found a place for one month and not be locked into a commitment I may not physically or mentally or emotionally be able to sustain. I prefer to be optimistic rather than pessimistic and it’s taken a long time with help from therapy, to realize optimistic or pessimistic are just mental hang outs. Police is for your mind to go. Neither one of them has any relevance to life whatsoever. It’s going to happen the way it does and my predictions…
As I was writing that I realized your mental state certainly makes a difference in how things will turn out so the sentence I was about to write wasn’t right. I will attempt my best to remain optimistic. I don’t want to start thinking I will fail. I have learned I’m actually pretty darn good at life when it comes at me. When I’m interactive.
It will be very hard to maintain that because my brain has gotten pretty much used to doing nothing and will fight to return by sabotaging my success. I hope that knowing that will help with combating that.
I will succeed.
Part 2. Two minutes after posting, I checked my resources and have no money. It’s Sunday and it feels like I should just sleep and just like that, all my plans become part of the “I’ll do it tomorrow” legend.
I will see if I can work up some fundraising cash and motivation to go out and shop.
When your finance situation is reasonably stable, shopping therapy can be a quick way to boost your spirits. When your financial situation isn’t stable, shopping can be a major source of depression because – – you can’t.