At what point do you look up?

Not Proof Read - 1st Draft, Personal Journey

I feel rather silly telling you this but it’s a good story so I don’t mind. I recently moved back into Toronto to downtown West. The previous times I’ve lived in Toronto it has been well out into the suburb…

At what point do you look up?

I feel rather silly telling you this but it’s a good story so I don’t mind. I recently moved back into Toronto to downtown West. The previous times I’ve lived in Toronto it has been well out into the suburb neighborhoods. I’m in Parkdale which is the west side poor district with lots of drugs and women willing to do things for drugs.

They have gentrified some of it and actually convinced wealthy people to live here. I have the good fortune of staying in a really nice third floor apartment right on King Street. I have never been this downtown. The noises are different. There are always people talking outside your window 24 hours a day.

Over the past two weeks I haven’t had the window open all that much so the sounds are muffled but every now and then you hear a pop and you wonder if that’s a gunshot or a car backfire or some other insignificant sound that just happens to sound enough like a gunshot that you look.

I got used to ignoring outside sounds for the most part. I can still be trapped into a loop by a repeating but not in sequence noise.

The Adderall helps.

There are things happening outside my window. Luckily I am able to tune them out. Sometimes it’s harder than other times because there are two schools within your shot of my window and kids scream in various different pitches. I just tuned them all out. And you could be a zombie walking outside my window eating someone else’s arm and I tune you out.

Tonight I tuned out a gunshot sound. Then another, and then a group of 5. Then it went crazier than a tv shootout during sweeps.

It started to scare me a bit. I didn’t actively fear my own death. It must have been a gang turf war…. Oh. Silly me. It was probably a TV show. There are lots filmed in Toronto and most of them have shooting.

It never occurred to me that there were fireworks. In hindsight it’s obvious. The amount of gunshots sound I was hearing would have been ridiculous even for a movie.

I’m glad it’s not a gang war. I’m glad the fireworks are far enough away that their sound is muted. If I had a friend I probably would have gone.

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