This is the third time I have written this speech. In truth, it is the first time I have written this speech because the last two times I wrote something completely different. Something I couldn’t repeat if I was paid to do so. I just start typing and the words come to me. It’s always been that way and then when something tragic happens and for whatever reason I’m forced to redo an essay or a story or a skit, it ends up being a completely different version.

One of the reasons my blog started with a disclaimer that said most of the posts stories and essays within this blog have not been proofread. They are unedited streams of consciousness typed or spoken into a speech-to-text application and never looked at again. By me, or as it turns out by anyone else.

I am writing it as a blog post now because the first two attempts were typed into a web page that would translate my words into spoken voice coming out of the mouth of an AI-generated Avatar. I was creating an announcer to introduce my latest video with some sarcasm but also some backstory concerning my morning routine.

The first time I had written over 300 words and it just reset on me. Strangely it even brought back last week’s unrelated script that it wouldn’t let me use because I mentioned certain things against community standards. The topic of my videos can’t even be introduced by AI.

The second time I wasn’t too disappointed because it did allow me to rethink what I had said and put it into different words to make it more interesting for somebody else to be saying about me. The idea of someone being generated I would have nothing but my text prompt and then speaking words that I wrote in a different voice is kind of a weird concept. I’ve been testing various versions of this talking head for weeks now because most of them don’t get the spacing and timing right. Good comedy requires correct timing or people like me and other ADHD or autistic listeners will pay more attention to the horrible voice than they will the content.

This one is free and it works quite well because you can train it with a video that moves instead of just a still photograph with a mouth that lip-syncs and occasionally eyes that blink.

But I didn’t want to do it a third time and possibly a fourth so I moved over to this blog and I started typing here. I’m a more reliable place that hasn’t lost all my work for years. Then I quickly switched to talking and the Google voice keyboard has become so good, I hardly ever type anymore.

When I add the Grammarly app on my Android it’s even better because it proofreads for me and I don’t have to reread my documents. The new version is substantially improved over the original which really kind of sucked on Android. I have to wonder whether the AI in their offices is triggered by keywords when someone starts talking about Grammarly and they pay attention to my words. Probably not. Robots are everywhere and people don’t want to be bothered anymore

So in conclusion, this entire thing was written by Jeff as a third draft and spoken by some artificially generated voice coming through an artificially generated lip sync for no apparent reason except to give a little bit of variety to the beginning of his next video but it’s way too long. So I run a clean, I will probably end up doing a fourth draft that says something like; and now here’s orange Jeff’s newest video creation. 631 words.