I can’t fully explain it but it seems consistent enough that I am suspicious it may be drug related. It could just as easily be in my head that it is and so the symptoms line up. All day I can work and walk and lay in bed just fine. When I try to go to sleep my legs start to feel itchy.
Below the knee to right around the dock line it starts. I try my best to ignore it, but gets worse. I am weak and if I scratch it once I scratch it a lot. More than you might be thinking in your head right now. My lower legs have scratch marks and several spots where I have broken the skin and let blood drip out and scab over each night.
It doesn’t even feel good like some it h scratches do. It’s not satisfying and just needs more. I stop but it’s like an over friendly dog that demands more petting. I go another round and try to stop again but end up going even harder. The bed sheet has a sprinkle of dry skin across it like a light dusting of snow.
Finally I give into it and do what I suspect my legs were demanding all along. It’s 10pm and I really wanted a good sleep but my legs crave the drug. I start to understand how others have similar scars on their face and am thankful my bloody legs are hidden.
I grab the pipe and exhale a few clouds. I have no idea whether this last intake of the day solves the itch, or it just allows my mind to become distracted and make 4 more videos. My leg itch is low enough to ignore now.
I could go to sleep without scratching except for the fact that I just took 5 hits of meth to solve the first issue. Now I’m not sure how to solve the problem the solution caused. I feel like the old lady who swallowed a fly. I don’t know why.
I remember this from previous times when my usage has risen to the point of tolerance. I feel like I don’t need the drug, but my body says otherwise.
And I’ll probably have to do it again tomorrow.
Tomorrow is only 11 minutes away.
0 Comments