Animals fed.
I’m still sleeping in hour long increments bit I feel rested more. I want to sleep again. My body is sore.
I briefly reached a point that is common among drug users the day they quit or shortly after. You’d look around and without that high, you see the mess you live in differently for the first time. Holy shit. This was acceptable to me yesterday.
I’m too tired to do anything about it. Not make change over time.
I also noticed for the first time that my pee is quite cloudy. It looks a little bit like pea soup. The web says to not pay too much attention to it unless it continues but as far as I can tell it may have been this way for a while. It’s related to poor diet and dehydration. Perhaps this weekend, I can somehow get myself out of the house to go see a doctor. That’s a big ask given my current state of sleepiness and apathy but perhaps that too will change in the next 2 days.
I was only very briefly tempted to say screw it and use again so that I could be a little bit more productive this evening but I didn’t. It’s 12:30 now and I get to sleep until 4:20 when the animals are fed next.
I do wish he would respond to The messages I have been sending him the last 3 days. I can’t tell whether it’s protest for me pretending to be asleep when he comes home or whether he legitimately doesn’t see messages on his phone unless he’s there when it beeps. I suspect the ladder may be true. If this is the case I am pretty confident even if he sees a new message he won’t look to see the previous ones.
That is no food for the pig in the house. We are definitely having a house meeting/lecture this evening. I can hear it in my head already. Luckily, I’ll still be able to sleep just fine till 1:30, 2:30, 3:30…
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