I have formed my belief that I live very much in the now. I am paying attention to my surroundings and being self aware.
When I do something .. anything really, the thought has been vetted. I have thought up the consequences in so many ways.
I understand now how smokers must feel.
People don’t want to pass up pleasure, or just distraction. My life may be complicated because of my drug use, and I was shunned by some of my friends, but I find friends in the drug community are truly cool people.
I call several my new friends. In person and online.
I wish I hadn’t missed out on that slice of time where the internet was new, before women all starting asking for cash to say hello.
My drug binges, like the one I’m in now are always worth it to me. My quest to find a buddy to do this with in this universe or my Second Life universe continues.