Oh shit, I totally forgot about the paranoia

General Blog Messages, Second Life

I have been denying personality change as a side effect but just now, as I was contemplating the case the police are creating around me. First I realized I was too freely talking about my use of the dark web…

Oh shit, I totally forgot about the paranoia

I have been denying personality change as a side effect but just now, as I was contemplating the case the police are creating around me.

First I realized I was too freely talking about my use of the dark web for drugs in public. I never offered to sell or supply but I was public. I talk about drugs on whisper anonymously but it’s easy to identify me.

Next was the fake dealer who told me I bought from him twice a couple of years back calling me on WhatsApp with a Jamaican number.

He tells me the grey Nissan.

This sounds familiar enough but it turned out to be done scam… Or information gathering. I confessed to loving drugs and talked about buying all sorts.

I have my street address.

So officers might now know I buy a lot of drugs. All personal use. They know I’m about to place an order.

If they have access to bank records they know exactly how much I spent. The interaction transfer to a known Bitcoin seller is labeled.

Today I recieved an overnight pancake 8 days late, open. It was clear what it was, but sealed. It was delivered, so now they kinda know I have that in my possion.

Tomorrow morning could be the raid, or they’re still waiting for there others packages. This was a variety taster order. I do them now and then.

…..

I am aware of the districtives pattern that requires help in the eyes of most.

There is such a thing as medicinal amphetamine.

….

I think I have been odd or inappropriate in interaction with Robert in some way every time we’ve met.

1 bragged about drugs at a public fajita night in front of many friends unaware.

Acid and others. It was perhaps a bit manic.

Posted a job description while high and it went weird. He chose not to reply. It may have seemed desperate and Linley. Possibly gay. I was afraid to vgo back and read it.

Next, I chose to ask him if he was single after a family tradgdy, bring it up awkwardly and cap it off asking about his finances.

Paranoia is just looking at the possible. I do that all the time.

Does he think I’m weird or does he not obcess the same way.

My Saturday Adventures partner was suitably mad at me this week. I am a druggie and she is a firmer druggie who doesn’t approve of adult druggies. Our relationship has been strained by my usage.

If they can tell I’m back on the bad one, they could choose to block me. It is possible shed move to Halifax and live with her best friend couple. To be honest, it’s a better move. I have disrespected her a few times.

….

I thought I had a new virtual girlfriend but it’s paranoia week. Cute Second Life woman and I hit it off and clicked really well. On first Molly trip in 2 months I fell in love.

We spent 12 hours together on our first in world date. I took her to Disneyland and we rode all the rides. it’s a small world after all, the jungle Cruise,space mountain and more. The park was empty. No lines

Then we danced, and fucked and went to work.

Next we went to the grand Canyon and took a 20 minute balloon ride tour and gang glided from top to bottom.

We kept agreeing on everything.

Then we fucked and crashed.

Next date I got paranoid.

The possibilities came up.

Man?

Scam?

Sugar baby?

I can’t fall in love and find out it’s fake.

It has to be fake, right?

End of part 1

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