1030pm. Room mate probably not quite asleep and advise lay in bed, obcessing about how I screwed up and abandoned a really nice woman kind of mid date, twice in as many days.
I smoked a few dabs and just as we were about to venture off on a Wednesday night adventure, we both experienced some trouble getting dressed. Initially I assumed it was just me, being high as usual. I expected I’d deleted something or broken some link.
She suggested reloggingvwhich seems to be the game slang for shutting the thing off and starting again. A practice any Windows user is familiar with. The funniest slang I remember for that was banana.
In any case, I quit the program on the bed computer and when it wouldn’t reload, I decided to switch back to the main work machine. It failed as well as did my phone login.
It was like the old days meeting someone without cell phones. We were locked out.
I went back to TV and tried every few minutes, until I didn’t.
Minutes pass and so I naturally have to log into both Facebook and onlinker.com
Facebook you probably know about and onlinker is a fantastic Facebook clone, but run just for avatars.
Ding… She’s found me on Facebook and pings me hello. In a way I’m sad because I usually try to disconnect the two universes but now I’ve seen her picture.
I’m not saying there is anything wrong, but it does effect the sub conscious slightly. However I get over it and in some ways it probably helps me focus on a solely avatar relationship, which is what I want.
My last date was on the new ecstasy and I fell in love fast and moved to fast and instead of me, this time it was her turn to run away.
That match was too perfect to be real or lasting. I may never know the truth but my version of the story I can’t decide on. If I choose to believe any of it, she’s a Russian woman in her 39s with excellent English typing and grammar. She currently lives in Calgary but soon learning I was Canadian, talked of her plans to move to Alaska.
We loved all the same things conviently including some rather obscure tv shows from my past
Option one is that she really is a submissive Russian mail order type wife living in Calgary with her man. She spends time online in fantasy and the emotions were real. She fell fast two, and was scared so she quit.
Option two, more likley in that universe is that she is some guy and felt bad that I seemed to be falling in love.
Either way, I was ghosted and dumped. It hurt a bit but I got over it. There may be nothing more amazing than first dates on ecstasy. You’ll fall in love and want to spend a life with them, till tomorrow.
Option 3 is that I screwed up and drove her away by some means I am unaware of. Oblivious is kinda my thing when it comes to women, romance and signals or signs.
I’m getting better… I think. As far as advancement speed, that relationship was what I dream of. She made the moves and suggestions but made me feel like I did… Kind of. It was just ecstasy… Figuratively and literally.
So a few days passed and another nice looking woman happens in my virtual world path. There are groups of people who share a common interest and when you speak out (via your keyboard) the other people see it and respond… Sometimes.
I like this more than almost any other chat system I’ve tried. In many, you have to choose one specific room to join and see the chatters all either silent or in private chats. The rooms that are active are familiar with each other and it’s hard for a guy like me to break in to that tight community. In the second Life world, you go about your business and messages appear. You choose to join or add to any of the group conversations.
I think perhaps I have too poorly established a difference but to me, it’s a whole different world. I am Orange Jeff… 3 years old and confident enough to chat.
Once anyone has replied, I have access to look them up and see their interests and other groups and favourite landmarks.
If I spot a woman that likes Monty Python or Doctor Who, I may say hello.
The groups and profile give me a lot to work with as far as opening lines. Unlike a bar,where your witty greeting has to be based on generic topics or personal appearance, in Second Life you get a bit more.
Often I still open with a physical compliment. Although it is a universe where virtually everyone you meet is a beautiful woman, each is created and customized by their human, and as different from each other as the real world. In a room of top models, I’ll always still have a favourite, and I sincerely respect the styles and the effort involved with their design and creation.
I take more time dressing my avatar than I ever have in this world. We both have the exact same orange shirt, jeans and running shoes but orange Jeff has 10 or more other outfits.
A comment is made in the Cards Against Humanity group and 3 women respond. I scan their profiles and begin a side conversation with the prettiest. Her profile makes me smile and so I wish to let her know.
I’m all about praise. If you make me smile, I want you to know. A lol is never enough.
We chat. Mere minutes pass and my click or clash instinct is happy. A new friend.
….
Darn. Energy levels ran out faster than…
Cop out.
I don’t want to continue the story yet. It’s not finished. It’s not really started.
I’ve done my standard dream. Could she be the one to unlock the key to my success? Couidvs virtual girlfriend hold my interest long enough and keep me reacting?
Yes.
Will she be the one? Probably not. I’ll sabstache it too soon. I’ll get scared of sex. I’ll say the wrong thing… Or my annoying inexperienced charm will wear off and just be irritating.
Wow. That crashed fast.
Maybe it won’t I say with hope.
I’m not sure if sharing this blog is the right answer. To know me is to understand I am cool. I just stop believing I’m cool enough to put up with when I get obcessing and negative.
End of part 1. 1114pm
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