business idea.
an internet show hosted by richard christie and i ding hosted by me with guest anchor guest bing. word origin connetion. a lightbulb turned on and I saw e the thought apper in my universe biz. A show hosted by Orange Jeff who starts the show every day at 7 ding. THere it is. I… Read More »

business idea.

an internet show hosted by richard christie and i ding hosted by me with guest anchor guest bing. word origin connetion. a lightbulb turned on and I saw e the thought apper in my universe
biz. A show hosted by Orange Jeff who starts the show every day at 7

ding. THere it is. I give in to the addiction as it evolves. The excuse could be my answer, and as a n…

I am g….

In 2018, a number of people with the last name Smith got on social media and declared. We don’t have too many years left in this great Country. It suddenly hit me last week while I was enjying the most glorious of Apple pie on my way out through Roc… I.. I wanna say … well . 

The Smiths figured out it didnt matter a hoot aon any of the opinions they coulndt agree on, but when an idea was unanimous, they could buy their way without spending a dime on a campaign.

ding rememberd, forgot remembered, wont forget …. lost a new on.


re arrange. Break broke the stream.

Reason # 4 why I should be assigned an emotional support mate. I choose thisnon gender word and hope the term mate to my majority audience …. why do I do that.

This is why. I chose mate because it was non commital. Most will accept mate to mean good friend. In my case, since it would be my prime.

ahhhhh that is new. best.

My Prime. I love it.

History. I needed a way to refer to what I felt I needed and not imply marriage, 

I struggled with calling my mate my girlfriend for 5 years despite really living as best friends. We made each other smile, and our first date was a blind date …

darn. fuck. if that was live I went there. I drunk recalled a story you keep in the head.

The stage has been Orange Jeff, casually in a televison … oh!

oh my god mind blown.

I do my show every week and release two versions. The one with a green screen and the show set from a differnt location each week.  Wih fame comes permission and deals.

reset A nightly show on a tackie set in a garage. if the real show starts in SL, I think that really could go huge.  If people knew what Second Life was, and if it could handle the lload, It is a billion dollar industry right up until the moment it not.

Someboy asked me today what my ultimate goal was, and along with my answer, I could not help myself.

ding. Orange Jeff turns on the vocalizer that he only recently discovered he owns as part of his ccommunity housing lease package. 

This evening, my extra whatever that may kill me, 

I want to say. If you read a blog in any way like this one in the future, andd then My Orange REview.

The Daily Peel


Evening Orange Review. Because I wasn’t going to sign a contract to get up early just to create a morning show. Anyone that I really respect and understand are listening to howard Stern mornings. I’d just like a few fans of my bit. As I slow to hit enter and commit I stop. I need a second. Name dropping Howard Stern is probably one of those things thatgoes without saying. My particular way of progressing in the u.



breakthrough. I will … lost.

Ok. Finsh Stern thought. I did not think about consequences till after it was in front of me, visally passing by in black and white at the only focal range that is clear from this pose. It was a sincere blurt to name drop in what seemed motivated. In truth, I lived through watching it drive Jackie to demand more pay. He says he was worth more, but in the story I die believing, he probably really hated mornings and blamed it for stealing his prime years as a late night comic or host.

In my head just now I can imagine a scenario where I had been discoverd and mentored by a different path. If a butterfly from the 1600s appears before me in my canoe and at the last second, my reaction swirns just enough we go down the fork that was a choice.

You may be able to use the anaolgy that you remeber stories of that 15 year span in history where the automated cars still had steering wheels… just, y’know. in case.

Future version of Orange Jeff may be playing this bit on his whatever they call powerpoint in 2018… I saved it in the cloud with a service.

I ask my mate, Did you check the guestbook from the web site this week?


Oh good.  Well?

What?  What?

Did we win?

… My fce goes through a slow motion facial try at.





laughter gin smile and 1 72th frame of frown.


I want to give a moment of silence for those kickass ideas that we lost to the time between it’s conception to it’s —  — and then I whip out one of the many spontanios sentence ends I can get to before the pause breaks my ability to be happy.

that failed. tired and very high.

I hit very many new points tonight. I also live tested first share on ideas I already knew were just ….

cool. I have reframed that distcusting act of sabatage and am grateful that an external source broke that focus.

ding do i do this?

do I… ding. 
DID I DO THIIIIIS No. I don’t want to use that bite without the disclaimer that my brain does jump to the Erkle clip of DID I DO THAT.

Oh cool.

I can do did I do that with and tripple asterisk and then I get to tell the story of ne of my favourte quirks of my father.


wow. I just relized.

holy big.

I am capable, of remembering all my stories on both sides of the voice. I am capable of conceptual reboots not only

ding take 2.

pause stoned. Oh face. oh yeah. Write down that chain of events and then see myself getting to the end of this sentence where there wil be a pause. ding I ask

Is that a thing now? Have I developed a thing, that I have approved as #shareworthy #firstshare

slogan. Make sure you choose somebody you can trust for your first shares. 

I pause and the remember that all the things I imagine in my head, are like stage plays I work out in my head to debate the pros and cons. I act like a computer program might. My  only memory of how to decide things was the method of using the 8×10 or 8×14 packet of lined paper.

I grew up in a papermill town that survived as a paper coating town… or was that Acton surving from leather to Abatibi. I do emember Acton was the stinky lower class community just far enough a way to be a differnt jursisiction for the things we dont agree on but. ding the point wher I lose the current thought as live grabs all 100% attention back from the slices each ..

I think of one of my cool tory customers.

ding I’d love Orange Jeff to ding.

I am actually ging to show a photo of he forks of the credit just north of my home town in the dirt road square route of rurak Halton County and currounding. I remember the key word es-squeezing township because to say it, you almot felt you had to say it in the accent.

ding ding. Primal pride point. Realization lightbuld turns on……. in…… ding Arrears Manatoba. A primal pride point is when you ding who ding when you have a realization that clicks and connects to a string of coloured lights like the ones we see in the month of November. I credit Elisa for noticing,
In my head the Opera music is playing me off. I’m speeding up my typing.

I did not end any of my stories.

I do what I now understand is a shout out, as I feel I am going in the other direction away from you.  I shout I’m still focused on the faggot sketch that make it seem like I endorsed it. I’m sorry, 

I jst can’t even

I love you just canteven and I just can’t. They are precious. I have generated a back story that is possibly a really neat story, but if I had confidnce, I might love …

In short, when I stick to my legcy facts, 

ding rest. segment clap board

Hi. My name is Orange Jeff, and depending on which post production version your watching, either the free fisrt Public share through whoever we gave it to for free, or whoever said hell no,amd offered us a umber on a post it note across the table. 

I pause and laugh. I’m thinking firts draft thoughts in the forks of the credit background. If Orange Jeff is a hit, and a number passed across the table seals a deal and I buy all the WordPress plugins first.

ding. I was a good King when I had thhe Royal enheritance and it was a whoa number when I was expecting an; Oh cool. That will make a bg difference this year.

In any case, I didn’t really change my ways at all. Ever since I started recordng, I have lived at least 10 % above my earnings.

I coined the phrase

something. Thoughts of refrme soiledthe milk and I forgot what phrase and what direction. I have more distractions now that should be red flags,

ding 10 + recaaaaaaaaaa.a.a.agamwe show the talk show.

Shout out 10 points.

ding I wonder if Chris Hardwick would host The Daily New

Snap. out of place trimming off an edit. Paparatzi are digital so somethimes they can get an edge.

ding. I would insert  apre recrded Snapchat version of Orange Jeff in between segments or breaks much like TMZ which I have started watching again.

ding… John Lovitz Of course you have My friend. You …

I have no idea why I asked John Lovitz.

ding… A podcast is just morning rafio for variety, afternoon radio, whatever. It’s a medium as old as static. 


Break. Position.

5, 4 , 3, 2, wait.

what is it ?

You said 3. 



A light in the wings side stage, the actor playing the fact checker. It could be a fainter version of Orange Jeff at a desk with an orange iMac vintage back from whatever year had the coloured macs. The shot pans long enough so there is no kistake that it is not an imac original OS inside, but rather an ipad style touch screen. The Internet feeds rush the river all at once and hit the upright canoe racks like reporters knocking over a rack of telephone booths with whatever news was that blitvert was stolen from.


Tonight I realized how I am literally just strolling verbally wherever the sound of my voice is …

I am joyriding the high of sharing. Verbalizing with the excitement of risk, without time to work out the good scenarios of possible futures for pride points, and then refresh and reframe 

lost me. I stared at words.

ding Tonight I realized that a lot of the things I realize might be… either awesome realzations that connect a lot of lightbulbs in my Universe. My visual might be of montage of how smart peolle wrote down their wow moments. I almost always have wow moments when I am reviewing my mental transcripts of my day… or that faggot comment. I have created whole universis full of people I will not get to explain.

ding ponder header. Do I ever need to explain myself to somebody with an aposing story if I can profile them and choose …

I’ll say it. I don’t ever know whether my lightbulb moments are as obvious as blank. I stop. I am too  high at 9:15 to make gay jokes. I feel like one wrong first impression and I already know I am digging. I am this close to saying some ofmy best friends are…

Just fund out Tuesday that Janice was… is.  well, always was. is.

ha. I didn;’t expect that’s what’d trip me up. I thought for sure I’d get caught saying fag. I’ve got a lot of fag jokes out there. The history of comedy has always included a genre called the easy jokes. These are tried and tested base concepts that you are free to own, and tell with your version.

Think Jingle Bells. You may know the words. I could play a super cut montage of 42 faces of famous people singing Jingle Bells.

A buzzer rings and we cut to a bar filled with people drinking beer in glasses that have orange puck sized screw in attachments on the bottom, not unlike that exact design in the current beer commercials that mingle with the market share dollars that may exist to promote the games.

Suddenly We see Current Drew Cary at the Who’s line table and he says; ok, now we’re going to add an element to tonights transcripts. If you hear Ryan or Colin or more likley one of the top 10 regulars that rotated each with a specialty that played like a familar returning character. It was improv weekly so it could get some of that sindication money that does well when the season is in an order. Otherwise after market buys episodes.

It’s an open market all of a sudden and the rush is on to time your version just right so you can fake concern when your namewins white I like to call the Disney Theme Pack bible stories, but obviously I would be sued and or punished in a discouraging way.

ding. British chareter pops out of a laugh in style window. Imagine the stage of my show being a green screen. You can pay to buy it with almost public domain access. I don’t want money to share. Really. I want money to 

No, really. I am not motivated by amounts of money. Being paid is the absolute worst lose-lose part of who I am. I lived like a King on inheritance for a short time. 

I simultaniously was able to squeeze a glorious amount of unexpected joy out of other peoples plessure. I got to be a sugar daddy on a budget without the guilt being loud enough to lessen the perfection.

I can try to make you believe that my analogy of the river is 

9:33am Saturday. I had a few great ideas that almost could have flown if I let myself go free again.

That level of bliss after fisrties hypnosis I recognized only in hindsite and I’ve learned that should not be admissable in brain court.

pitch. Cut to me in an elevator with a well dressed man. I appear startled only long enough to register as real, and exhibit how fast you are live. I have till the elevator reaches his floor to pitch an idea. When the elevator stops, the man can gesture in some way his vote.

I love that I live in a country where I can write about the idea that we live in a particular story that was defined back at some moment in time when enough of the smart people discovered that a lot of them were independantly living their life at the speed of NOW.


I seem to feel removed still, at least a little bit from my own OZ. The stories I can remember of how my OZ thinks to himself as if he were ablke to steal attention.

ding realaition I think it is possible that in a rested state at the right level of high, I may in fact create visual memories of places I hve been, and fabricated the jokes I might have told if I was talking about it the next day.

One of my early pre kickstart . ding forgotten.

Orange Jeff in my nemo costume.

I would like to offer my punchline as if it were the thoughts of a fish. The happy fish is a symbol of good that represents the nutral and happy colour, with an happy name and a fantastic disney story which may or may not be Pixar befiore they were bought. Pixar won the Orange Kleenex award for not only being remembered as first regardless of reality, but The Kleenex award goes to the comapny who’s name is ass ociated with the priduct category regardless of brand or manufactuers.

Royal FacialTissues will always be a safe choice to use in your stories. If you lived in my extended universe it’s Kleenex. I remember being surprized the moment I went looking to fins what they are actually called and learned Kleenex actually invented the entire thing along with a fabricated need for them. Nobody wanted kleenex to buy disposable under the original plan.

Disposable facial tissues didn’t exist. 

Yellow card from the left stage swing in judge. Each new judge cn either be a recognizable face either accepts this kind of d list neighbourhood cameo.  JUsge can be judge gag. There are a LOT of differet types of and known judges in pop culture that would .


When I click LIKE on anything, within that day, so do 1 million other people. Sometimes a new file I have not seen before passes in front of me with an absurd 6 million views. I understand that likes can be fraudulenly tweaked within a self regulated number with various justifications. However by the time I may see it on faceboomk with changing math, It may have been reshared by those same robots multiple times. The hot wheels car zoom house wasn’t clearly explaind from the outside.

ding. I call, mad libs sentence.

Yes. I mentioned the hot wheels car and my brother’s wing light came on as his chair wooshed out and he’d call me on that. When you commit to telling the truth that first time, you might make it 24 hours without having to bluff or lie, but after the first one, and theyre smiling enough to keep you from spoilers.

You know your brother didn’t return our calls. He didn’t join the panel tonight. I was dissapointed. In interviews I’ve seen him be positive towards your progress and outright angry he can–

Can we not talk about my brother. He doesn’t exist. I made him up to see if my software was working. I mentioned my brother just now and you already had a complete memory complete with at least 3 anicidotal stories you can use to tell whenever it fits the tags appropriatly.  When you decide to move to the next shiny thing, you can… to infinity. You are Q. I am Q.

Before time, 

That’s all. I believe null has come back as a scrabble blank we’re using anywhere we can to tag this time in the stories when Ross lost his job.  Sorry. I switched to the sectio of my mental library where the Friends bible stories are sorted. The first series to use the titles of the episodes as useful. Every title was written in the language of the elders. 14 people are chosen to be the official keepers of the words. Luckily, even in early days, the library of words hs never been inconcievably large. The number that I posted to my mental fridge was 20,000. If I was who I aspired to be, I’d use the my own mix of a vocabulary I am always aware of when I try something new.

In my 55 years, I have tried a new word only 16 times.

 12 of those have been since I turned 50. 11 of those have been since I met Tina.  Any of the Tinas that may appear in your google first screen were all from that time.


27 may very well have been the first time I was alone.  Imagine a yong girl not wearing pink on a bike. Stock video can supliment the blog and she is just leaving the grasp of her two parents with shutterstock watermarks covering just enough of their face to not be able to recognize them 16 years later as you enter the petting zoo tent at the farmers market that somehow you have warm feelings for. Your memory either remembers or fabricates hearing positive things.

I remember being terribly dissapointed because I hadn’t yet learned the concept of why people buy anything less thanwhat they like. If I could afford anything that made me reminiss about that time in my life whenI was the man. Not quite a celebrity.

In Toronto, a city that ruled as kings in the world of Commodore Business Machines. My universe was team CBM. They dropped that name after the war. Commodore was a leader in buying the best hope of a computer from among the countess near miss ones that …

ding. I want to point out something that is not obvious. The mission statement is; things that go without saying should be said more often. 

I state facts in little pop up windows either in tribute to POP UP VIDEO

Stoner in front row Price is right front row dings bell.

Drew Cary asks?  Yes?


You buzzed. You interupted. What is your request?

I bid 420.  ha ha ha… you owe me 50 buck michael.

Did you have a reason or not. It’s not pricing its the live round. Nevermind.

4200 isn’t a price man.

Arent you supposed to toke with your 420 cheers post?


No? We always did.

420 has always been house rules specific. Why do you think everybody has that 420 house rules poster?

What? That shit is not the same poster everywhere?

What? What would the point of that be? The whole point of house rules was they differ.

Like Monopoly rules

you mean the house rules people personalie for monopoly.

No. Not like Monopoly. Nobody shares free parking motherfuckkkkas and your way is wrong.

Exactly. Everyone sets the core house rules.

House rules. Is that like 

At that moment, that student Faded away in whatever visual effect comes to your mind. I wish I could tour everwyhere and share that and then see how many people imagined a Star Trek Transporter beam?


I missed a lot. Suddenly I am me in the back of recording studio or at least the set of what Saturday Night Live sketces have led me tio beleieve.

As I was typing, its just slightly behind the spped of thought so I can daydram gifs and clips in the mntal margins we call pauses. The pauses between breaths. The pauses between when you stop making noise, and then the long delay while you smoke a cigarete puff without anybody noticing. Smoking a drag.

My brother says, bobody panic a drag is what you call sucking a fag. It isn’t about Drag Queens. My brother has several best friends who are Drag Queens. I doubt it but who knows, he might try politics in the future.

We hear DONT GET ME STARTED ON POLITICS from the rear and the spotlight completes it’s gradient debut. 

Game Show Host… I could ask Howard Stern, but his continual dream of being a game show host has become canon. In that way, I suspect he is not unlike Donald Trump and I. We all hate the idea of achieving our goals. Nothing terrifies me more.

I cock my head to the side like a dog.

KIRON: Fun Fact, Dogs tun their heads when they are needing to show you theyre listening. We only figured out it was sign language when Brian shares one of his stories when he loosens up at the bar after Friday’s Family Guy.

Judge. Buzz. No.  I take my buzz back. I was going to call that reference a scale tipper. The punchline isn’t strong enough to hold up unless they know the reference and not enough people will, so The scale is not 
A scale tipper is when the math of a joke is off, but the host likes it anyway.

My oigin story for turning a fail into a win was Johnny Crson and Ed McMhon or Doc Seceronson.

Doc was like my bosses friends Joe, Manny and Shelley Melodick.

If this universe is written those three friends fit a scripted universe like they were cast by the diversity team of O-Town.

15 points for otwn refernce,

O Townn was an enjoyable reality show that played like a 12 week episode of HOW ITS MADE and an E Hollywood True Holywood scandal Story
The following people are actors who have been compensated for their appearnce in this commercial advertisement. Their appearnce does not imply or asociate with any stories which may be brought to your attention in the weeks to come.

wht the fuck was that? 

past peformance does not guarantee future success.

man suddenly on park bench and man nxt leansin.  

ponder. do stock photograhy models who have discovered you can be ugly ryan yells change. 

thats not how it works but fine. You can be quasi motos secret twin even he kept locked up.

change you can not have to worry about mortgaging the house again to get any of that work done. Maybe you can get the brakes fixed on you pony in the spring.

shit. I really wanted one more change.

oh ok. phone fiddling.

there. I just sent you $5 in bitcoin.

cool. checks phone. dingialing.

oh thanks man. $5 would have been good, really.

What do you mean?

No really.lets not make a big deal out of it. It’s bad form to talk about the tip.

What tip? You said $5.

Ok.  I see what happened. Bitcoin went up in the time between there and here. It adjusted so I thought it seemed odd to pay me $5.72335 

I wish I’d never sid anything.

ding. Yes Roger. I’d like the guess the ending please.

Are you sure. It’s early. If youre wrong you won’t lose any points but your arrogant ego score might be effected by the independant judges in their won way you’ll never know abou, but never get that extra parking spot downtown because even though it’s 7 stores away, it is staffed 24/7 by well paid waiters wearing bright Orange as a way to make sure I don’t get it.

yes I wouldlike to solve the puzzle Chuck.

It’s Pat. Chuck Wollery hosted before me 

15 point bonus for getting the host to do your name drop that would have shown your age.

Buzz. Comedians lights and mics turn on in the oddest places to hit their imaginary comments for imaginary … I use the scrabble blank.

It works likeDoctor Who’s psycic paper. Asterisk.


See what you need to see to believe. That makes no sense inthis universe, but in a computer fiction universe, of course you see what you need to see to accept the cut scene that transitions you between stories and interactions.

I am still klinging to the excitment of that time when Orange Jeff started typing in script.

My saying expands.

When you are in a couple, you have dialogue. You grow and swap smile.

When you are alone those conversations can not be trusted and can lead to what the others may pblicize as crazy. One of my favourite fact post it notes is that the idea of crazy people might have been a handy place to dump the keepers of the secrets.

In one dfaft of my improv one man show. When you dedicate time and intoxication to your alloted think time to seek out n buzz… star trek line.

You could have let it play out at least. 


I concur.

Not that I needed your vulcan endorsment but thank you.

not that I needed your thank you but I was merly agreeing because I was about to bid 3 quatludes on the newcomer.

ding 10 points for reference from tos. 5 points for usage in context that is actually relivant.

5 points for point score outside of normal game play but bringing it into the studio.

i add 5 points bonus because I’d go as far to say that is the best punchline for that story, not just acceptable. I think that answer is #shareworthy #2levels

Its hall of fame.

No. #shareworthy yes i” see about adding prideworthy when we see how shaes go.

ding is nobody going to comment that is a misquote with a bonus tripple score because nobody noticed.


you knew? I noticed as I was hitting enter.

awwwww so you must have been sweating each turn.

Yeah. Oh well. well played. 

gee, thanks for being so nice about it?

ahhh no biggie its not going to change my life I didnt ciollect on that winfall eh? You can buy me something at Tim Hortons at lunch tomorrow.

Starbucks buddy. for you, the $7 coffe with a 45 second long description the barista you hopes times out to the one that serves you and the name Gervis on it, but with aJ because I told them.

You told them my name was Jervis?

what? no.

You told them my name was Jervis spelled with a J?

ding 4 points. two stage laugh with deadpan cloned delivery. 2 points bonus because nobody expected the Jervis line to be a winner.

two people buzz in with the sound clip wanna ya want, every one a winner. 

Woman is dissapointed she was late and not only didnt get the points, but her guest DonHoe came all the way from hawaii to sing tiny bubbles.

ding. challenge. Tiny bubbles is not don hoes famous song.

ding 5 for knowing each singer that covered tiny bubbles.

nobody chimes in.

ding ding. fact check station lights. bonus play at home fact check. fact check

true or false. don hoe is dead.

Oooooooo… 2007. dead.  you would have savedv face except it was a true or false qestion. you answered incorrectly and that means freshman dry cleaners gets to guess.

quit please. quiet. I need to follow the guidlines set forth by the lawyers we let con us into paying to protect againt fake lawsuits that use the loopholes we helped create.

Courts are where two choices show their demo reels to the executives annual photo opp that becomes part of the official instagram of POTUS

bell. oh there is the loudest bell we have. It must be time for round three. Its worth 35 points which is 5 points more than was achievable by all other games combined effectivly rendering everything up to the third round is irelivant.

ding origin story marker. OCD. From the first time I noticed I was near anger with the absurdity of the point system of a 6 round contest would so blatently make the entire show a farse, at least as far as the score.

It was also an early exposure to humour by bullying. Holywood squares was my first experience where a lot of the  best laughs are at a person who wasn’t being funny.

my new ability to walk away from open stories is a huge plus with shows where the laugh is at the people we seem ok with bulying because… well come on… I mean at this point in the life of those people, its not like they don’t know i am set aback by the imperfections of a bad math face.

For the millions of people who suffer from bad math face, don’t let it stop success. The imperfections of the faces average and below cause the first contact reactions that form your life. Life is such that beautiful good math faces tend to be the winners. They also do even better when the pretty people tell us the stories

Good news, of all the occupations suited to a face with CoS numbers below 15.

May I interupt. My listeners won’t all know the terms. What is a CoS.

I don’t know. Lets ask Janice

Chance of someting. I’ll ask my elbow who knows.

That actually started making sence. That guy has been asking body parts for answers he had forgotten.

NOT FORGOTTEN… I don’t use the cloud. Every cell in your body can contain quit a bit more than it does.

More what.

More whatever, I don’t care. the point is, as gigantic as  dna and the gene map is proving to be, each cell is like a micro minivan with all the seats out. 

in each cell?

When I was small a molecule was tiny but an ataom was it. the end of math on that end.

When I was doing updates for the first time it was far from the smallest.

life lesson. do not confuse the origin story of something with your realzation day. My universe is loaded with stories that are inaccurate but have no — 

Id request a recess. I have not slept or eaten. oh yes. small food and chocolate.



Care to comment?


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.