I was finishing up feeding the animals, filled with excitement to come back inside and start a new blog entry. The previous blog which I had written just before leaving to feed the animals was ironically about me feeling need to need to blog more often. Well fuck it. I’m going to blog more often anyway.
My initial plan was to start talking about the meth chat series that I created years ago and to rebuild it with shareable short clips about things that meth users experience.
On tiktok there’s a whole series of people saying things along the lines of; I have bipolar disease of course I’m going to do this; I have ADHD so of course there are small piles of things at the top and bottom of my staircase… etc.
I did one myself called I’m a farmer of course. It didn’t it didn’t get circulated it didn’t become part of that chain because I don’t know how to do that really. It is very unlikely that I will ever post one of this chain; I’m a meth user of course I forgot what this video was supposed to be about.
However I can talk about it in a private forum and share it among the community that allows those certain things. So when I came in here I had two I had two great ideas to start my meth talk series and unfortunately I’m a meth user; of course I forget what the video is going to be about .
Since I have recently increased my usage and haven’t been sleeping as well, I am more dehydrated than usual and I’m usually quite dehydrated. I didn’t have enough water this week.
I’m noticing side effects of not taking care of myself. When I don’t drink enough water, my joints begin to ache a little bit more. My right ear stops listening. Today, the side effect of not having enough water and all the other things is giving me jolt at random moments as a body spike of back pain hits.
My back kind of went out, right in the middle of recording my morning walk. It’s not a bad one and I can still do things, but certain things are going to hurt. I’m hoping it goes away because every time I get some new pain, I think to myself okay is this the one that stays with me for the rest of my life like other old people. And so far the answer has been no. I haven’t experienced that old person pain that you just accept and live with. I’ve been damn lucky, especially given my diet, my exercise, and my drug use.
Just like everything else in life I toss it over the imaginary wall of tomorrow. Not a worry for today. It’s a worry for the future Jeff.
I am definitely experiencing more mental mistakes in the last week. The was forgetting to put on socks until I was almost out the door this morning. Instead of going through the steps of returning to my bedroom, I just did without and slid my bare feet into my winter boots. I hate going back for things. I am reducing the steps involved in every task, especially when there are steps involved.
When the cows were fed, I returned to my bedroom to write this blog. Instead of going over to my computer and working as I had planned, I’m going to lay down and rest for a bit. I expect a full recovery in not far off. I drink more water.
More blogging news as it occurs.
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