Today is his birthday. 68 or 69 I think. I didn’t ask, because I’m staying baracaded in my room away from the madness that fills the house. The family visit.

W doesn’t like Kaos. This is a house of rules and intentionally placed clutter. It is a no touch zone and today, this China shop is full of bulls. Kids. All the generations of his family gathered from his mother, a sister, his son, and one or two wandering curious grandkids.

This is an inside day for me. Total isolation. From behind my door I hear things. Yelling. Screaming, panic. The cat doors are left open again, meaning cats meant to be separated mingle. I hear young children eager to explore touch and move things. Questions, questions. What is this? Where did you get this? The dogs bark. Everything is a point of worry. Stress.

I imagine this is his worst nightmare. A horrific way to spend a birthday during a year he’s already weak and stressed to new levels. He’s still in the period of medication side effects, as well as increased paranoid delusions during a scary wartime situation on the tail end of a government conspiracy to inject us all with Chinese technology during a fake virus pandemic.

His brain must be exploding as his mother nags about how dusty the place is for the fourth time and something is knocked over as the male cats scare the female cats.

It must be hell. He’s diabetic and recently out back into a routine for that so he won’t even get to enjoy the sweetness of birthday cake.

I don’t want to be seen or heard. I don’t want to become noticable or some curious child will feel the need to meet. I hide.

I won’t even watch TV or talk. I’ll pee in a cup and try to sleep.

I hear him sigh. I know he’d rather be screaming fuck at the top of his lungs but he holds back, making the internal stress worse.

….

My phone rings and a customer has a major issue with email I spent 4 hours trying to solve yesterday. I have made it worse, again.

I guess it’s a Kaos day for both of us. I don’t want to think what the third disaster will be. Maybe Kaos comes in only twos today.

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