The routine of my drug use goes through various stages and during some points, I am extremely productive. Sadly it’s not always productive at useful tasks like working on my website to-do list on my customer needs. I did a little bit of that this week but not as much as I should have because I kept getting distracted by things that tweaked my interest more actively.
Primarily I have become obsessed with making videos and sharing them. I’m trying desperately to do more videos that are general audience instead of the ones aimed primarily at people who are accepting of the concept of being a daily meth smoker. A very small audience and not as attentive as you might expect. I have found that social media in this friendship circle is not interactive. The people who are on the social media sites that allow this type of sharing don’t actually seem to be looking at the videos. Instead, they are posting their own. Like me. They have found a certain joy in filming underground activities and sharing them with like-minded people. It’s just that like-minded people are doing the same thing and nobody’s actually watching the videos and appreciating them.
Of course, this might be just me whining that not enough people are clicking like. And by not enough people, I pretty much mean no people are clicking like. Every now and then somebody on Reddit posts a reply or comments you rock dude and that’s enough to sustain me for a while because in honesty I’d be making the videos anyway. That’s what obsession is about. But it sure is nice to get recognition and I try to give it to everyone else, or at least the pretty women. I do my best to treat others as I would hope they treat me despite the clear evidence that they are not.
Now I will admit I put more energy and effort into my videos than most people. My nagging has convinced some of them to at least add some color on a filter but for the most part they’re just videos of them inhaling and exhaling a cloud.
All the more reason for me to feel cheated by not seeing praise in my morning social media scans. Oh well. It’s still fun and I am progressing the more videos I make that are not dedicated to this tiny demographic the more attention I might get. One day having 5,000 videos of me doing something illegal online will probably bite me in the ass but I’m sure it will make for a great story.
And in the end, the stories we keep are the only thing of value.
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