My daily posts containing more personal blogs and videos relating to my drug use or social commentary and opinions
My daily posts containing more personal blogs and videos relating to my drug use or social commentary and opinions
I don't enjoy mornings without chocolate. Even more, I don't enjoy mornings without chocolate and meth. I'm tired. I want to go back to sleep. I could sleep another hour before feeding the chickens but I know from experience, that second sleep makes me even more tired. I'm grumpy. The cat came to me for morning snuggles and it annoyed me. It sensed I was not in the mood and she wandered away...
A rambling blog inspired by found drugs in the carpet once again. Life is better spun than none.
That's an odd expression. I know.. at least I think I know I've heard out used before. I shit you not. Maybe it's in my head and it's not an expression at all, but I'm claiming it because I have not shit much at all this February. Maybe 4 or 5 good shots over only two days the entire month I think That can't be good for me. I don't specifically remember my past shits but this feels like a record...
The first day of my most recent “I’m out” phase where I begin the rationing and scrounging to make it last until I can re-up
Another one of those blah blogs where I contemplate the dullness of my current life.
a blog about blogging in a meh mood thinking about life.
I don't spend a lot of time in darkness so I had to change the lyric. Instead of being really depressed, I just get in kind of a funk that lasts a few days. It comes and goes. I think what actually happens is when I go off my Paxil I start to think more about life and my situation and then when I get back on it then happiness returns I still get to think about how the medication is keeping me...
A blog, a video and a gallery, all before 8am
My relationship with my daily drug has gone up and down over the last decade but somehow it seems different this last batch. I've discovered the feeling of the high part of my usage a little better. A slightly improved way of inhaling and a dosage that seems more intense. More regular usage also has me feeling more effects with the inhale than I have for a while. The other side of feeling more...
There are some things in life we lie to ourselves about. The word maybe is an indicator. When most people say maybe, they already have the choice made up. Maybe is used to let somebody else down easy without committing to yes or no, but it probably means no. As a kid, eventually we learn that maybe we can go to Disneyland really means no. We lie to ourselves too, pretending there is a...
Let the world burn. Society is a spectator sport and I’m changing teams. If I can’t beat them, join them. XHail Trump
A moment of post master action reflection before I start my morning.
I recently learned from a TikTok video that many of the things that I once considered a unique part of my personality are apparently quite common among people with ADHD or autism. One of the things that most interested me was the idea that routines were different for us then the typical human population. I never really thought about this particular aspect of my life but after hearing somebody...
A blog post while I contemplate my drug use briefly before using and forgetting.
An opinion about people never looking the way we expect someone who is high should look. They welcome appear high.
im back up. my blog survived.
relection on a Saturday night from a Dunday morning perspective.
Posted at 3:14 am. Pie time
Another late night choice. To use, or ot to use there is no question.
I still don't understand why Jetpack on the Android sucks so much. I also don't know why I keep giving it a chance instead of using the Kiwi browser on my phone and logging into the real WordPress site. I stayed up and just now, at...
A blog written without Internet when the power went out.
An unusually happy life change for the usually gray depressing month of November.
The line that some people will never cross is different for everyone but the line that people won’t let me cross without dumping me as a friend often surprises me
The obsessive decision loop that happens when I have to choose between sleep or going up for another night of drug induced distraction.
Up all night again not always by choice… At least at first.
quick. blog during the 5 minute rush from melting a brown spot on the side of my bong. one cloud to go.
Pre SNL show.
I hear the "Just for Laughs" character in my head saying, "It's over." For years, it played at the end of almost every Just for Laughs comedy special, and I even used the sound once or twice in my videos. It would be something Canadians probably remember, but not many outside Canada. It's interesting to think things like that will be harder for future generations. We were surprised when our...
Post lumberjack duties
A Monday morning refection and review. I just realized I don’t really know what status quo means
I just borrowed the car and drove into town just to spend the last of my cash on chocolate.the last two times I tried, they were out of my brand. They're on a sale price and it's almost Halloween so I didn't know if I'd get lucky or not. Starting my mornings with 100 grams of cheap Swiss milk chocolate elevates my mood more than you might expect. My ADHD doesn't enjoy the effects of coffee but...
Two blogs in one. The video blog, followed by a commentary on the process of using Lipsync with digitally altered or created faces
I'm doing ok. I finally had the nerve to ask about my drug use and the fact that everyone in the house is aware I use drugs. I'm not certain they understand it's meth but it's not vital since they seem somewhat accepting of it regardless. I'm a little concerned it may have been one straw in the acceptance of annoyances the man can handle. The married couple I live with are amazingly...
I've been far more conscious of how good I have it now that I am living with the security of a home and food. At the exact same time, I am continuously aware of how unfair it is to be in this position of advantage. Basically, I'm costing the couple that has given me this place to call home, a financial burden. I simultaneously love and hate that. I'm also torn between my loneliness and drug use....
An unfinished blog about merging all my blogs into one.
another sll night play atound with AI sessions
A first things when I woke up morning blog about Politics and Religion and how the best story and best storytellers often win. A story can trump reality.
A journal entry that takes a deeper meaning of life turn after I wake up and smell the clouds.
A rather generic update on an uneventful week where I acknowledge but ignore my problems and continue existing with minimum effort.
A nice dream at that Vegas Hotel for an unspecified annual convention.
My morning mood and cautious humour
First car ride with my sister since I found out her husband wasn’t surprised by my drug use.
A good morning with some realizations to make it a better day. Don’t talk to me before I e snorted my morning meth
Review of my day on meth
I lost my phone and I might blame my new meth
Describing the sadness. Thanks for mansplaining my mood
Today was the day I noticed my position on the loop of drug use. The things I do every few weeks without realizing — until I notice it.
--Original copy I learned a new piece of information yesterday that came as an absolute shock to me and I'm not quite sure how to process it. The revelation was presented to me in the middle of a sentence as if it was common knowledge and had been for a while. It was certainly not common knowledge to...
Yesterday included some extra activities including getting four of the yearling calf daughters into a tiny trailer and a 90 minutes ride to take them to the meat processing ranch, otherwise known as the slaughterhouse. Doug will return at some point in the future with packaged beef. We assume it's our own cow meat although I suppose it could be any. I used an extra days rations and really wasn't...
My multiple wake ups before feeling awake meant multiple cool dreams.
A spontaneous blog post that turned into a bit of a rant against our current society and how we are taught hate by the organizations that claim to be kind and forgiving.
I need another one of my silly errors today. The kind that could be blamed on ADHD but that doesn't take any of the guilt away because I still did it and it still part of a routine that shouldn't happen. It's the second time it's happened that I'm aware of but the first time it's happened with consequences and I still can't comprehend how I managed to not close the upper chicken coop door and...
Another nice meth mini movie
The idea of getting found out as a drug user living in a house owned by non-drug users is a constant fear. It's not so bad where I live now and my sister is currently aware although probably not fully aware of the amount of meth i smoke on a daily basis. I don't know how much her husband knows if he's aware of anything. I have almost no shame in the knowledge that my sister's addiction to...
I haven't been blogging as much the past few weeks and I haven't really noticed it or thought about it much. It was my intention to keep it up and do it daily but not much is happening in my life these days. From start to finish, it's pretty much the same day repeated. Not quite light Groundhog Day, because my radio doesn't turn on and play Sonny and Cher at 7:30. I am making videos everyday...
My daily blogs have not been daily.
[2020-01-31 4:38 a.m.] Brie: https://www.flickr.com/photos/185448132@N07 [2020-01-31 4:39 a.m.] Orange Jeff: thanks... although one pic? ha ha... you need a driver buddy for adventures. [2020-01-31 4:39 a.m.] Orange Jeff: and pics [2020-01-31 4:40 a.m.] Brie: I just started 🙂 [2020-01-31 4:40 a.m.] Orange Jeff: I know. I was teasing. sorry if it came across as rude. [2020-01-31 4:40 a.m.] Brie:...
I slept well and woke up and refreshed chemically. Did some good web design yesterday, had some good corn to eat and I'm ready for the day. I accidentally washed all my laundry yesterday without using any soap and they appear pretty much identical to if I had. Interesting. It reminds me of when my dentist used to say didn't matter if I used toothpaste or not. The brushing was the important...
Well it's 10:30 and I am appropriately tired. The last couple of days I haven't gotten to sleep till 1:00 a.m. but maybe that will be different tonight. It will certainly be different over the next few days since tomorrow morning I will use the last of my magical crystals. Possibly the last boofing of my bong water as well so I expect to be a little more tired than usual very soon....
Another day, another morning hit. Like the Jewish story of making 1 days worth of oil to last 8 days. Happy Hanukkah.
A morning blog and video about the last day and the last teeny bit left before cold turkey. Just like a high school essay, I got another extension.
A quick morning memory trip back to my earlier days as a user
A first thing in the morning review of my Mo day dreams without a bunch of drugs clouding my reality.
A generally positive blog following spontaneous sadness from the night before.
A video dialry I don’t remember anything about.
Wild dreams and sleepy mornings.
I woke up a little bit more tired than usual and used the last chunk so I could find various containers to get a little bit of a morning wake up. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. I checked my emails and my socials and made a few Snapchat scenes I could use for cow counting videos in the future. Had some water, took my pills, went to the bathroom. It's time to start my day and go count...
A rerun of the kind of blog I post every time I’m on my last days of my drug supply.
My morning started with purrs and pizza today. Big smiles.
A hot summer night where I distract myself away from negative thoughts by thinking about the negative thoughts of the world instead of just me.
Ideas for a meth competition. Probably in poor taste.
