In one of the instants that happens in between thinking of a blog and clicking an icon and waiting for it to load I changed my mind about the title. Initially prepared to call my current mood a wave of negativity I remembered I think I’ve used the term wave quite a bit over the past few years when talking about my emotional state.
If we consider how many different types of waves there are being described by that single word, I’m not sure which one is the best choice for me today. I was trying to think about ways to describe spontaneous sadness in a short period between two relatively good moods.
I’m on medication which allows me to stay reasonably happy most of the time but I didn’t take it this morning and at noon I woke up from my nap and went to the washroom and came back into the bedroom to do some work, but instead I sat down and contemplated the meaning of life. My light specifically.
In the grand scheme of things end world history, this would probably be a good time to contemplate the life of everyone but more specifically I care about me. I prefer not to worry about life and contemplate the future and instead just keep swimming. Moving forward in the current and letting the waves guide me instead of having to actually make decisions.
But every so often, the flow stops and I get a chance to think about the stream. I think I just need to eat some lunch maybe that feeling will go away.