I had not slept well the last three nights mostly be a of my stupidity and an old addict trick.
If I’m not asleep by now, why not just stay up and try tomorrow. Howver as morning ce closer, I was almost tired so I did more with good intentions of cutting the streak.
I honestly thought I had broken free of the loop today. I didn’t think I did more in the morning… And then I remembered I did more and more. No wonder I’ve been laying in bed since 1pm trying to sleep thinking all I need is a rest.
It’s 1130pm on the Wednesday and I am torn. If I repeat and stay active tonight again, it’s likely I won’t get back on track.
This dehydration sickness is part of the problem it wants a jiggle of pee every 50 minutes all night as long as I keep moist bit if I do t, that seems to wake me up too.
That’s been the routine Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. It’s hard to believe tonight will be different although it could be. I actually am tired and would love a nap that lasted maybe two hours at first.
I’m uncertain what I’ll decide but it’s almost always going to be to get high again.
End of Part 1