Yesterday, around 5am as near as I can figure, I stuck some bong water mixed with more of the drug up my ass using a syringe. It wasn’t the first time. I didn’t measure out anything. It was a rush much better than usual, and I stayed focused and working for over 12 hours without much stress or concern. I didn’t even eat, which was handy since I have no food.

Today around 5:30, I tried again. Less rush, which is to be expected. More worry since this is a Monday and he’s home. Confrontation about my usage may come up. He’s already let it slip into conversation in his way. He is not ignorant to my usage.

He’s come a long way in these two years and didn’t just yell at me for 40 minutes. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. I probably should be less spun for the confrontation.

But I did get a lot done.

The next problem is the dehydration and the constipation that may be a dangerous side effect. And the malnutrition that just happened to come at the same time.

Interesting week ahead. It will be hard to ignore, which in a way has always been one of my reasons for using. It hasn’t always worked out, but the universe forces me to evaluate, accept and adapt.