Much of my life is measured in loops and phases these days. Things happen, I ignore them and they go away and I think about how amazing the human body is. It adapts and tries to keep me alive.

It could just á easily decide it’s hard enough and one part of my body breaks or turns bad and the remainder of my life would suck. The dreaded catch up. The resolution of all those healthy years when I would not tend to it and merely say, one day this will probably catch up with me. My imaginary wall of tomorrow will give away and everything I’ve ignored will line up demanding attention.

When my internal body is going through on of these phases, I start to think about that disaster more and more. Amazed at how the body accepts and adapts to whatever I throw it’s way, usually via my stomach or my lungs.

Some of the loops are familiar, like the one  experiencing this morning. A chain reaction of side effects that usually start appearing at different times making them more compatible. Physical reactions that sometimes happen together and it caused a more serious effect.

So the last couple of days,I have had internal dehydration that causes a blockage. My poo is to dry and had to make it out my butthole.

The first few times it was scary. It went on longer than one should normally go without shitting. Eventually I added this to my list of things that could be ignored and it would go away. There are usually a few unpleasant days and then a routine of tiny pebble poos escaping around the sides, and eventually a few strong pushes followed by a period of emergency fast runny shits, a good meal and I’m clear.

Sometimes I have to manually coax the first several pebbles with my fingers. It’s another gross things drug user get used to. Assisted poo scooping is another gross necessity we deal with.

Today I was up in the bathroom at 11pm,12am, 1am, 2am 330 and 420, to pee a small amount of dark yellow each time. My body is having make up ways to get rid of waste via alternative route. My stomach craves food but in very small quantities because there is a big dark brown rock taking up space inside.

The medication responsible is the bad one people warn e about constantly. It is also affected by the clog and works poorly during this loop which causes its own loop because I take more to not feel asleep and shitty which maintains the dehydration. My mouth tastes bad Soni drink more soft drinks than water. 

My heart still seems strong as long as I eat which also solved and caused the problems.

I recap thinking the human body works hard to stay alive, and the human brain doesn’t make it easy. I won’t say I’m trying to test it till it fails. I’m just doing me and ignoring it with the hopes it goes away. Right up until the day it didn’t.

It’s the Farting and belching portion of the loop. It’s close to the end. 

I need chocolate.