With some week blotter sold as lsd. Suspect.
Anyway, juist had an extreme e orgasm. Heartrate changing wow.
Need rest and recouperate.
9:02 on a Sunday.
Almost every time Insit down on weed, and start to type shit into private jouyrnals, long before the Internet or even before the BBS and the green screen.
I wrote shit down.
Not always on weed, but later in life, after drugs, a whole different level of writing.
I’ve kept a journal. Breadcrumbs if ever published. Facts from life added to the bottom of other stoner entries – many long and interrupted, boith by my ADD. And oh… weeeed.
I live alone, and I hate it.
I write when IO;m high
I think I am an interesting person, perhaps worthy of some fame based reward.
I don’t want to be famous
I just want a few fans.
I believe my writings contain many bgreat ideas, and theirioes, and stories and fantasies and ciuld even more, with guidanbce for the future.
I want to think for a living.
I want to seel my opnions.
Not sell out. Not opnion for money. All my oipoinions, sponsiored
You can ask me anything, and I’ll give ou my opinion.
I will try cases of common sense or anything else.
I will give an opinion.
And datestamp it, with the undersygandinhg that great leasdeesr must learn and adapt to stay in power.
I give myself, and everyone else, the right to change your mind.
To have other people care about your opinion too.
Anyone who does NOT change their mind onmce in a while is suspeciious.
Everything dererves re-evaluation by a few other people.
I’d love to offer my opinion on church, and religion, and politics, and cults and conspiracy theories.
I am not educated, but I am not stupid.
I may very well be crazy, but it’s so much more fun, without ths stress of not bbeing crazy is gione.
I live with fear that I may be crazy.
I live with the understanding that we all are.
Time is longer than our calendars can imagine, and we’re just a story from the future.
The hitchhikers guiude always conbfused me that the only updated new entry for earth was that it was mostly harmless…. Which in the existence of time, that is all anybody needs to mknow, or cares.
And How did it die?
Ignoring the fact that earth was a huge deal, and everybody knew about earthy. They even went to parties there.
He cdould have updated all about the pub scene and theatre and — nobody cares 4 billion years from now. Earth was mostly harmless they never knew about thye universe, so they don’t really count.
In any case, we’re not done. We never were.
Knowledfge however, may be finite. I believe that is rubbish. Each new generation of brain is better.
It’s the crazy ones that make all the major discoveries.
That is probably a very very oiffencive statement, and totally untrue. I don’t know how many were stoiners or crazies, because the stories have had those parts removed.
I think we do all agree that Nerwton was off his rocker.
I believe lots were. We just think different.
I can’t imagine what my brain wulod be enjoying learninhg in school, if I had founjd a way to make it work.
I loved school. I just didn’t do anything outside the classrookm… at all.
I turned it off.
I could only learn what I learned in class, during interaction.
I excellened at conversations I knew nothing about. I could engage an opinion on books I’d never read and movies I’d never seen, by playing the room.
Playing the last thing said.
I do well living this life. It’s just the back stags stuff nobodfy sees that is so much work.
I portray “together” because when people are standing next to me, I am.
When they leave, my lights shut ofdf and I shut doiwn.
Facebook, tv and sleep.
What happned? I had a brain wave. Whoosh.
Oh look, a zeppelin.
New conve rsaion.
I have been watching BIG BROTHYER again this summer. And I have Big Brother dreams.
Watching people think, react and perform is hilarious TV to me. Just watching people in a fishbowl fasninates me.
I wish it didn’t bore me so much.
I’d love to see them have conversations about all their lives, and how nobody would ever have lived with one of them – ever.
It changes people, and its fun for me to watch people learn. IO love seeing it in infants, and adults, and me
I want to be open about myself and my feelings and experiences and storties, but I am terrified, because people will call me crazy.
There will be mean people, and I will want to change their minds.
It will hurt me that people don’t like me.
It will hurt me
When it stops hurting me, that should hurt me.
It may not
A adapt. It’s what I do. I surf the wave of life as best I can.
I can work up reasons in my mind for any attrocitis if I remove myself from caring.
On drugs, I just might
So far, I have contained my stoner experiences to within a single room.
I do not know what I would do, if guided.
I believe in my hart, I just don’t get that stoned. I don’t lose it.
That is what scares me. That is how many people die.
I do not think of suicide, but I am aware that I could die while highg.
I have writings on several blogs, and in several folders on all my hard drives /writing
Its all there, sinmce I started doing it on computers, but after the 64 or dos days
I don’t want tio die, but I should have a plan in place, seeing as who I am.
Everyuone should have a plan.
I have a business.
I am ashamed.
My business and life are of shame. I can’t deny this. My pride and confeinece come from the teachings and who I am today, I am proud of.
And ashamed of.
Its my battle.
Pride vs Low self esteem.
It’s the best medicine yet.
If low self esteem is not curable, and I believe it is born and chemical, things will be ok.
The world works on low self esteem. Its why we’re not all president. If low self esteem were even a few percentages less or more, approval ratings may sway.
Guit is what runs man industries
Guilt and social acceptance is the onloy reaon many people are not on welfare.
And the laws.
A lot more people wouldnlt work if they didnlt have to.
If the government makes it easy to survive without work, more people every year will choose it.
And lie to get it
Government money is supposed to come with guilt.
A respnsability of the least
Oh look, a zeppelin…
End of part 1.
Lets say DNA is a snapshot of data for our body. We somehow transmit it to every connected cell in our body instantkly.
Every moment, we are connecting to other dna and evenluating and mixing dna. Our shapshot changes with every touch or breath. Lets say we vibrate at a dna frequency, used fore synchronization.
The dns strange is actually a vibr ation freq uency. Everything with that dna virbrates and stays connected as a solid.
If we couold change just one styrand, perhaps all the others would change instantly.
Our dna recipie could change for any number of reasons.
Evolutinary changes could happen in one series of births.
We have sex, or even touch another dna long enough, or recipies mix and benefit from the joining.
We adapt to the new recipie.
If we could print dna strands, we coulod build anything. Clones or anything
We could print everything, like a recplicator on a celluar level.
Turn a fridge intro a tiger.
Just change the vibration.
Lots of crazy ideas whilke trance was playing.
If life vibrates at a frequency, then the shockwave of existence must exist, and in space where waves retain their virbration fr miles and miles, it is conviveable ton undersnadt there is a vibration duplicate of our universe, one pixel in the past, just above us.
And a pizel in the past behind that.
Our existsnca e is remembered in light replefcting out into the universe, so is our vibration.
Depending on loss in the atmosphere – think how clear a radio signal virbration can travel around the globe, our existence virbfration mjust also be quite accurate.
A snapshot of exiatance that exists one pixel in the past.
Outward towards the universe
If we could travel outwards at the speed of light, we would view the slices of light and see our history expansding outward in light and vibration.
End of part 2.