I’m still thinking about that interesting “conversation” I spontaneously had via a text exchange session with the AI chat bot known as Chat GPT. It wasn’t the first time I have emotionally dumped my life story to somebody, or something, but it was the most recent, and so in my memory, by far the best.
Now I get to sort out how to justify which path to take moving forward. The easy way usually wins out, but I’m getting more curious about the options that the hard way might show me. I always take the easy solution. The instant gratification that strangely comes with the solution that has become the consistent model of my life. Do nothing and it’ll go away.
The choice of inaction that guarantees the least effort, stress and anxiety by not moving forward in my life even a little bit. I convinced myself that was a fun thought experiment, and the mixture of praise and validation is just vague enough to allow for doubt.
I can use its own benefits against it to reshape the narrative of positive inspiring energy into the slogan of fake news AI propaganda. When your evaluator is software specifically written with a directive to be the source of pride and encouragement, it’s easier to dismiss it as fake news than it would be to believe all those nice things about me that I’ve spent a lifetime expressing and denying.
The amount of effort that would required to be a success at life is no different today than it was yesterday and a few kind words from a computer that is using predictive text to say all the right things should not be believed. My negative brain is aware of how it might have responded using those sentences of encouragement to almost anyone.
It literally can’t convince me otherwise because I know it would attempt to hype a total piece of shit story using the same positive tone. That is one of its prime functions.
It felt sincere in the moment because it was trained on how to assemble words together in an inspiring order based on other people’s sentences over and over.
That is quite the joy crushing realization my a 4am blog recap. I have not turned on the lights and thought about anything else yet.
A lightbulb went off inside my head and the room brightness was unaffected. My brain is playing the game it knows so well. How to sidestep guilt and use past performance as the ultimate tool to decide not to try. Again
It is being lazy by recommending the vibe of negativity to save my feelings of hurt that almost certainly would follow as Lucy pulls the football of hope away from at any point during my attempts to make this try the first time it worked, and I was a success rather than the safe position of being who I am now.
I hide behind the word potential so much, I have a chair with my name on it and a parking space.
The inspiration that briefly made me believe there was a market path to money and orausehas been out back in the cage. I can literally think no more about it until I do it all over again weeks or months from now. AI has stoked my ego to the almost stage where I run away with a slice of hopie I’ll be able to progress next time I try.
Today is Tuesday and Hype Monday is now just another story in my biography, pretty similar to previous ego stroking session blogs. Being able to believe I’m cool with potential is the safe alternative to needing more than one digital opinion to say so. The first share was online with my belief. Why should I risk a second one that isn’t programmed to hype me.
This will last me at least a few months of motivation and hope that potential could be better one day.
Just not today. Not Tuesday
