I’m not really feeling the blog inspiration this morning. I was looking forward to it on the walk to the bus station. It is a nice spring day and I was alert and feeling the confidence needed for a good…

Two days on, freak out.

I’m not really feeling the blog inspiration this morning. I was looking forward to it on the walk to the bus station. It is a nice spring day and I was alert and feeling the confidence needed for a good day of work and overall progress.

Although it’s Thursday, it’s like a second Monday. I took Wednesday as a freak out vacation day. This means a two day streak is the schedule to beat. Maybe Wednesdays off works best. We’re trying to figure out what I can handle.

In my usual way, I don’t like choosing or planning so I just do this until it doesn’t work and then I do that.

For a real job I show up for, I obviously need more of a focused plan with mini goals and progress on the important tasks I have been avoiding.

It’s hard looking compitent and being social in an office everyday with the understanding boss hovering. I am thankful for the flexibility but mindful that I don’t take advantage.

This task needs a milestone step soon. My brain struggles with the idea that completion means the job ends and I’m screwed again. Bad mindset.

I should have used that day off to connect with my doctor and get back to therapy and Adderall. My self medication works short term, but it has flaws. I’m sweaty and smell.


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