Tuesday Weather. 🌞 And ☁️
This post marks the very first time I have ever used emojis in the title and I have no idea whether they will translate to the browser or Apple computers or anything really. When I typed in sun and cloud these replacements were offered as options and I decided to choose them. It is most‚Ķ Read More »

Tuesday Weather. 🌞 And ☁️

This post marks the very first time I have ever used emojis in the title and I have no idea whether they will translate to the browser or Apple computers or anything really. When I typed in sun and cloud these replacements were offered as options and I decided to choose them. It is most likely not to practice I will continue in the future but who knows. The world is changing and language is migrating back to hieroglyphics. Unfortunately like everything else in the world the fight for dominance and control creates inconsistency.

Not only between Apple and Google fighting for dominance in the blue versus green chat bubbles and emoticons and emojis but everybody else has their own variation. The cloud I see on my Samsung phone is almost definitely different than the cloud the readers of this blog will see. I’m referring not to the readers currently following my blog, since there appeared to be none, but the readers of my blog in 3,000 years and an architectural classroom about how in this stage of human development, we were still looking upon methamphetamine as a negative instead of the lightsaving drug that let people live till they were 150.

I don’t really believe that but it is a humorous side thought to think about the internet lasting and still being around years after your death with blog posts about feeding a pig and doing drugs. There are some posts hidden within my blog. Gold gems of wisdom and philosophy. Business ideas and slogans all sorts of other ideas that that I have thought about over the years and written about occasionally. Sadly, you would actually need to have an archeology degree to find them because nobody else has the patience to read through the 2000 useless posts in search of that one the describes a business plan that could possibly make you rich.

I’m okay with this. In my head, my imaginary friend reads my blog everyday and that’s who I post to. That is who I write to. My adult imaginary friend that I can get away with believing in without being called crazy because blogging became normalized. When I look at other people’s blogs online there are some that will definitely have a following because they have a purpose and a topic. Mine is just like a 16-year-old’s diary except instead of keeping it under the bed away from my siblings, I publish it online, away from everyone. It is like the store on a dead end street. Only those I tell about it no and most people don’t care and move on. Except instead of being a store, it is a website on the internet that costs me nothing.

Sadly because of the way the internet works, when I die it will go away and that’s a shame. The archaeologist will not find it in the future. There may be a small snapshot of its existence on the internet archive website if it continues to exist but at some point people will stop paying and it will go away too.

I have to try to not think about that. It’s more fun to think about it being discovered by someone after my death and finding it fascinating. It’s better than having someone find it now and becoming a fan because they might actually interact and ask for changes. They might care. Friends that care can be an annoyance. A hindrance to the freedom of doing nothing or at least doing whatever I feel like doing.

Is that really a freedom, or I might just being a lazy ass and calling it a convenience? I haven’t decided yet. For now I have convinced myself I choose to be who I am, where I am, doing what I do. Deep inside I know many of those choices have been made for me but even choices made for me are made because of the consequences of previous decisions The confusing part is trying to figure out how much of my decline has been a choice and how much has been ADHD related. Of course, I have to include in that statement how much has been because of my drug use, but I sincerely believe it is less than most people would assume.

My drug use has not been the fault of my decline. It has definitely been a part of it but the position I find myself in would pretty much be the same if I wasn’t using drugs. I would just be more depressed and disabled. That might be bullshit of course but I believe it and so it is true in my universe.

At least until a better story comes along. I am somewhat reflective this week because I am nearly out of that drug. I just took a few big hits and the only stuff I have left is on the side of my pipes in a white buildup. It might give me another cloud or two but for the most part as of 1:00 p.m. on this Tuesday. The last Tuesday in January, I am not getting spun anymore. I don’t know for how long but I don’t anticipate it happening again for some time.

I am curious to see how my blogging and daily activities will be affected since I’ve been using quite a bit over the last 2 months. Daily to be sure and occasionally in excess. Not just a maintenance dose, but I have been getting spun which is the math communities word for getting high. It’s a different kind of high so they came up with a different kind of word.

So this blog was written on the last few clouds after sleeping in till noon. They will probably be a noticeable change in the tone of the blog and the frequency of the posts but I’m going to try and keep it up. It may resume after a few more days of sleep. We’ll see.

If you’re reading this in the year 3,000, I’m sorry I wasn’t here to thank you. I hope my writings gave you some interest and perhaps some joy or at least a different perspective on something that you thought you knew about. I wish I was there to see that world. I’m sure it is more different than the last 1,000 years have been. The internet really did change everything I suspect. I would love to see how it turned out. Our 15-year-old still making their major income just by smiling on camera. God I hope not.

 

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