I really scraped the bottom of some sources around my bedroom but I managed to get off a few clouds to induce enough placebo effect to wake up and start working on my computer this morning. I’m not sure why I don’t sit at my desk and do more these days. It’s so much faster than working on my phone for lots of things. Now that I can type with my voice reasonably well on Windows like I do on my phone, there is even more reason, but my finger typing is pretty quick these days, so that is what I’m using for this blog.
Side thought. It’s weird that we don’t teach typing or “keyboarding” these days. It used to be a class you could take back when almost nobody needed it, but now that the whole world accepts typing as a major part of their lives, we no longer teach kids the right way and let them learn it on their own. I suppose most kids start typing before age 5 these days so perhaps the class would be boring. Now that I think a second time, I realize most typing from today’s youth is done with their phones, so a class in proper qwerty fingering would be a waste. Nevermind.
In any case, I now have enough available cash to re-buy more drugs. I may not have car access today so I may actually have to go without tomorrow, but I am ready. I say this knowing the effort I just finished putting in this morning trying to find even a teeny bit to smoke to feel awake. I keep managing to put off cold turkey in an almost magic way. Others may see it as an almost badly addicted way. I remember my feelings towards cigarette addicts finding old butts and combining them to make their own rolled tobacco sticks, and feeling no better than them, despite how discussing I always considered that.
Brains want what brains want. We go to crazy lengths to get that relief. I also remember being in hotel rooms with crackheads and shag carpeting. They’d sit on the floor picking up any piece of fluff checking to see if it was rock, or trash and the pimp would cruelly toss chunks towards them to entertain himself.
Shag carpeting was a key element to that memory. It may have been slightly fabricated. The days when I smoked crack were few, but the strongest stories came from those times. I’m glad it was never my drug of choice. I can’t imagine where I’d be today if it were.
Until discovering the medicinal value of meth for ADHD brains, I had no real drug of choice. Acid was my favorite but it wasn’t anything you could do regularly. In the 90s during the rave scene, I did it once a week for 3 or 4 years and its effects were less and less. Then when all the acid in the city vanished, I didn’t do any again for a decade.
Neat memory trip for a morning blog. Thank you meth. Now I’m off the feed the cows.
