A day after I looked into some of the side effects of my drug of choice, I started to understand one of them a little better. I used to mimic symptoms and side effects when I’d read about them but that was decades ago. This is just a coincidence I’m sure.

Before yesterday I wasn’t fully aware of liver and kidney damage with extended meth use but I shouldn’t be surprised. Those two are on the list for almost any drug. 

I remember being told by a friend with liver issues that she had bad itching issues. Not on the outside of her body like a normal itch but more a body itch. Everywhere from the inside. At the time, I couldn’t imagine  that, but like anyone does, you cope and move on. It becomes your new now and you deal. She lives with various types of pain constantly but still manages to enjoy life. It’s amazing how people survive and carry on.

Itching during withdrawal has always been an issue at times. Depending on the recipie and how long I go without. Usually it’s just in one area, and definitely on the outside, but it has been an annoyance at night as I try to go to sleep.

It often starts around 10pm on my lower legs and ankles. Scratching feels so good it can be distracting because I don’t hold back very well. It starts slow and before you realize, jjyoure scratching hard. My lower legs have lots of red spots where I have broken skin and kept scratching.

I think, thank God it’s not on my face like those before and after photos I’ve been ignoring. I’m careful to never scratch my face. I run it occasionally but the itching hasostly been on my legs and clean socks help. My feet swell a bit and that’s apparently a liver or kidney thing. I forget which.

Recently the band of skin between the flop of my lower stomach gets itchy at night. The belt line. It feels good to scratch too. It often passes if I can distract myself.asternstion to orgasm seems to help both, either by some mental trigger that releases some itch cure  or just the frustration of the effort and payoff. I can often sleep after that.

On nights when I am constipated our have boofed up my ass during the day, my ass crack itches and it isn’t easy to appease. It’s dry and the itch stays a while. Tonight it started early. I went to bed at 730 and lay awake with the cat. By 930 I started the waist scratching followed by the ass itch and it was one. Full irritation scratching there and other random places like my ears and side.

It suddenly made sense that this could be a lot worse in my future if craving and withdrawal are the cause. I can imagine how itching could drive you into a craze even worse than pain. Well… Worse than some types of pain at least. I’m not a big fan of pain either.

So I got up, grabbed the bong and made the choice again  deciding between an itch that would keep me awake, or a small cloud of smoke that will keep me awake wasn’t a hard one to make. The itch subsided mostly. It may return but I’m hoping I can find rest  before too late and not be up all night again.

I’ll do my pretend sleep routine, tossing between the right side and the left every 10 minutes or so until I don’t notice, and I wake up much later.

That’s the plan anyway.  10pm is early. 

Maybe I’ll do a little masterbation anyway… Just in case. Grin