The ups and downs

That title should be the downs and the less downs. I’m not feeling very up of late. I have days when I don’t quite feel as down as other days. It’s an overall miserable mood that swings up less than…

That title should be the downs and the less downs. I’m not feeling very up of late. I have days when I don’t quite feel as down as other days. It’s an overall miserable mood that swings up less than a kid on a swing that doesn’t know how to swing his legs correctly.

For some reason, Wednesdays seem to be especially sad days. Today, as it turns out is a Wednesday. I slept in till about 3pm on and off. I roll around from side to side and go back to sleep instead of waking up. I still take my Paxil meds at 730am when I first awaken. Without them, I’m not sure where I’d be.

I have spoiled my best chance for success by sabotaging that plan. I have a new plan which should be perfect for me, but I’m over simplifying it and terrified to start. I may sabotage it too. It’s easier to coast than work to progress.

My NOW is easier than RISK.

I coast. I surf the current.

I sleep and watch TV.