My balls were itchy. I mean, really itchy. A rigorous scratch wasn’t easing them. They’re a bit better now but I still feel like scratching more. It feels good.

It’s also the first trigger that starts my chain of thought down a path of predictable justification. Almost a routine at this point. Certainly a regular series of late night events. The thought is in my head. The second stage is blogging about it. The mental debate. I’m still awake at midnight. What are the odds, or is it chances? I never know which is right.

A distraction of wording doest take my attention away for long. I have to make a decision about the rest of my night. Do I lay in bed facing the ceiling attempting to feel sleepy and fall asleep, or do I give in and choose the opposite and stay awake? The answer almost always ends up picking the one that will stop the itching and make me feel better about making the bad option.

Drugs are bad, except when you take the drugs, and then drugs are fine, and your life choices are just fine. Everything is fine. I don’t need to sleep every night. 5 or 6 nights a week has been working out just fine so far.

And there it is, the decision is confirmed, and I don’t even bring up my prepared counter points that I have almost no chocolate and I have to be alert to go into town with him tomorrow and talk to my doctor and maybe even have to do some things I won’t like to do.

I should be well slept, but it’s 1am now. Being well rested is already passed the deadline. I was out of my legal meds for two days as well, so there is my perfect excuse if it comes up.

The last question is xactwo parter. Do I also take my edibles weed capsules tonight knowing they take about two hours to kick in and I’ll still be foggy tomorrow during the day. Those pills give me a weird meh mood for an extended time. And the second part of that question is how many?

Yes and I’ll decide after I go up up and away.

End of part 1. 12:54am

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