I had two good sleeps, back to back. All day and all-night Friday. Today I need to concentrate on nourishment. I need more food in me to give me strength and energy.
It would have been the right time to take a break from daily usage. I smell. The room smells. I’m worn out and not being the right amount of social.
It’s almost November when my mood usually dips. The world switches to holiday mode. I don’t enjoy these months.
I should have done without today’s dose. I came close. I mentally debated it and held out for almost an hour. I just did a small hit at 8am and can now go water the animals and throw the cows breakfast.
Hopefully avoiding enough talk that doesn’t include question about my mood or smell or personality change.
Maybe get some work done and benefit at least a little from this bad decision.
I got the water working. It freezes so we had to change the routine a bit. It’s cold, and I feel it more when weak. I walked slower and took some rest breaks but I’m glad I got to water everyone without help. I want to be reliable in the morning chores. It makes me wake up and get outside once a day at the very minimum.
Now I’m back in bed at 9:30 after deciding more hits was the right decision for announced additional chores later. I’m going to eat waffles and cookies and hope my extreme tiredness doesn’t show too much.
It’s 10:00 now. I feel better-ish. I’m mentally num. That mood where everything you think about seems uninteresting. Mind blah. I’ll lay in bed thinking until I’m called upon for work, or untill I spontaneously try to do something. It’s hard to guess.
They offered a brunch downtown but I said no with the legitimate reason that I have to complete work I’ve been procrastinating on. That is true, but I also know my level of dehydration is making eating very slow and difficult.
I need to eat but it’s hard. That’s a bad combination.