The phone-in doctor is going to call me within the hour. Since almost everything I would normally be doing during that time is on my phone, you would think I’d be fine. How can I miss the call if I’m already right there with it in my hand?

But how sure am I that the ring notification will be noticeable through whatever video or meme I might be enjoying at that moment? I know I have frequently missed incoming calls before. I also know my phone reception isn’t great in my basement bedroom.

I thought this would be a perfect time to check on the cows and move them out of the restricted area, but phone reception is even worse on the farm.

I could masturbate but I would not answer the call immediately in that case, or obsess enough about it to not enjoy the process.

I can watch TV with the pause remote on my hand. I’ll do that…

Completely ignoring all the work I have And the dirty floor I need to vacuum.