The Cartoon Inside my Head

Every now and then I take a moment, and get that fear coming back up from my deeper memories. Am I crazy? I write a lot, and I think I need to at times. If I was in a white…

Every now and then I take a moment, and get that fear coming back up from my deeper memories. Am I crazy? I write a lot, and I think I need to at times. If I was in a white room, I could concieve the occasional need to bleed and write things down on the wall. Necause my own pride is still in training, for the big deals, I still seem to need a seconder. Another opinion to confirm I’m not crazy. Every time.

I don’t like making any decsion without another person’s feedback.

Without that, the two sides of my brain ofetn discuss and debate. They stop time, often mid sentence, and set aside a moment to think.

edit. THis particular high is not right for writing. My ego shame vs pride are weak.

I have a high guilt count today. (Just invisioned me describing my thought process like a weatherman… then suddenly a weather girl. A hot weather girl….

When I am writing the thought proceess live in a stream of thoughts, they come out with a voice, just like mine. It’s not difficult to see how repeated access to these imagry could start to create more distinction between the two side.

In my writings, they have evolved from the traditional red devil and white angel that writers have used in other writings. I retain the laziness from my youth, and show my A.D.D. pass to get away with it… I did not go look up the Wikipedia article on the origins of that, but I believe it to be familiar to most. I played with the names and symbols a lot in my writings. As I started to also discuss the negative and positive voices more, they grew into voices and I almost stayed with the ered voice and the white voice, or most recenmtlky the dfark voice and the white voice, but I’m not happy with that either….

Bad zeppelin… Ding.

I can easily see my two sides as characters. They even swap control like jeckle and hyde. All it takles is a little bit of weed, and the darker voice leads the stories.

I’m not sure I believe that to be true, apon second think. It’s more of a balance, but the weed lkets me see the influence much more clearly. My brain can actually feel it hapen, and often enough you see it in my face.

Happy Happy, Joy Joy. A new idea.
Except it’s not. Some times only the first hit is enough. Sometimes they fight back, bashing the pros and cons back and forth like a badminton … crap, I knew the funn.. shutlecock.

I chose badminton over any other back and forth because it is the funniest one to imagine. It is more dainty and fluffy. I went for the story most likley to get a visual in the reader. Pride point for the light side.

I’m really not happy with the quality of this piece. Knowing an audience exists makes me mor epicky. I am sad about that. The whole … no… some of the point of tyhis style is that it is genuine, true, and raw from my brain. Although you may be reading an edited version, there is a click link somewhere I’m sure, unless we went back to paper after an inncodent I am as of yet unaware of, let the apes taking over.

It is a fun mental practice to think about earth in 30,000 years.

I am however happy with the fact that I am writing, and it’s giving me enough joy and pride points that I continue, and this may be an area I progress in.