By now, it’s pretty much a given that day 3 comes and goes without sleep. It’s Wednesday and for a short moment it seemed like there was a chance I might fall asleep, but then I make the decision to stay up, so I blow three clouds.

I’ve been listening to a lot of hypnosis files on this binge. I’ve also spent much of the time in the alternate universe of Second Life.

I have not gone back to do the tasks I’m supposed to be doing right now. Even with the additional focus provided by the drug, the fact remains I don’t know how to do the next steps in the project.

Research and learning have always been the weak parts in my work. I can fix things that are broken but I’m not a skilled web programmer and the team expects me to be the miracle worker and make their dream project work.

I wish I could. I wish I had the nerve and confidence to charge accordingly and hire the work out. I’m not sure what my next steps are.

I’m up at 330am worrying about it.