Old post - Out of date sequence I'm torn between two topics to write about tonight. The four women in my life. One, currently living with me while she comes to grips with her new reality and admits she needs help. Like decison making for you kind of sick help....
A tweet reposted in a picture on Facebook, as the click bate to an article on another web site is what inspired me to write this out. "My Daughetr just asked me why we say 'Hang up the phone' and now I feel 90" There are a lot of things that happen as we age that make...
A lot has happened in my life, Â and I suppose I chose to return to drugs. Â Visually I was able to see this time, Â how disruptive it is to my happy sober Monday to Saturday life. I have also returned to my alternate Universe where I get to be a whole new person, Â and...
It has always been my understanding of the concept of infinity was thatbyou could alyas add one, or half anything... until tha atom. I learned it was the smallest. Then I learned that an atom had components, which were obviously smaller. As I aged, science kept...
There is a movie, Formula 44. I am about to spoil it for you, which is a shame because it's really worth watching. However, if you're an intelegent person, you probably figured it out from the title of this blog. Good for you. Sorry I spoiled it. In the movie, a new...
Can I blame someby else for my blunder? Blunder is a strong word. I left my computer on in a room on Facebook and somebody got to read some chat about them. You know, everyone's worst fear. Yes Virginia, your friends do talk about you. I'm certain I'm not the one who...
I took the DMT that lasts 5 hours instead of 20 minutes. In a bad set and setting. I only experienced hell for a brief time. My hypnosis traing helped me break the loop. oh.. right. I wanted to tell the story of hearing a friend who is troubled and lost her place...
Probably about 8 minutes later. The rush of pride points and pleasure I experience as I write cool ideas with hope instead of ... well, whatever that used to be Crushed joy. "EVerything you crete is art, and perfect Until the moment you share it, and thet one person...
Living inside depression can be toughm, and as impossible to describe to an outsider as ikt would be to decsribe ORANGE to a blind man. One glint of joy however, is when you realize you can still imagine things. You can stil close out reality and play with stories...
Right now, we still have an official war on drugs. We have to show some progress publically now and them arresting criminals. Showing arrests is important. In some ways, more important than actually arresting people. We need the public to know we occasionally have...
CPAC is a trigger word, for acid, not PTSD Tonight I got to stay a while longer from the eyes of a stranger. My personal theries were shown in a very visual way, as a mix between the Matrix, and my kiea. On DMT I saw my NOW, realized with a holywood budget. My...
there is a moment when you're playing the card game HEARTS, and you think... awww.. fuck it, lets go for the lot. You try to get every single trick, knowing if you miss just one, you'll get a huge score penalty. I believe there are many moments in life just like that....
Some religions believe that miracles happen every day, and things we would never believe are divine, we call a coincidence. I call them signs from the Universe that somebody is paying attention. This evening, I was watching TV and the commercial for the new series of...
Over the past few years, I have not been keeping my blog up to date. My posts were few and far between. During this time however, I was still writing, and creating new video content. I was just not sharing any of it publically. I have kept a journal of sorts since I...
I'm glad I remembered the title because there was lemon cake and ... well.. Lemon cake. The origin story of lemon cake for me, goes all the way back to when I never...
Doesn't it bother anyone else that an apple with a bit out of it is the symbol for betrayal, evil, and the creation of hell. Oh yeah, and a computer company.
If you believe that the story is the only prize. The story is all. The storyeller are the winners. If you believe in the story, then there is little difference between good and bad. If you understand the power of creating your own stories, then any situation no longer...
Weed high from 2 strong pot brownies that I review as excellent, and like KFC, is good cold too. I found a nice spot on the reation of the first two and my already suspciously joyous day was even coooler. I started my new routine of therapy. Saying it. ding, these...
Today was a bit of a rough day on my brain. One of my very best friends is in distress, and not only can't I do anything to help... I may have done things to hinder. This pretty much my life's worst scenario. I live to make people smile, and am wounded when I cause...
I may have been thinking about NOW a bit wrong. It exists, and may even be the same universally, but we can't really detect when it is, or was. Our perceptions are too slow. In previous writings, I have stated that we percieve NOW as a moment that our sences can...
I start this article with great excitement, because it is closer each time to the point where I actually do something. I start towards a goal, either alone, or more probably with a partner as of yet to be determined. #lightbulb Darn. I didn't get very far tonight. I'm...
I was about ti wrute a new blog post this Tu Restart. I had the auto correct settings slightly wrong. I'm happy with my choice to change my own normal. I both love and hate change depending on how much notice I have. I can not however livecwithout change. The greatest...
I just realized my Blog is like the movie Memento. It can be read backwards, and you learn what everything means in reverse, eventually. Imagine if I wrote it as a book, but one that was designed and styled to be read backwards. You start at age 100 with the current...
Is it possible idiots have a leader role model and permission to be assholes. Black Friday will be the country's worst in history. Is it possible, Â ribs may lead to military Marshall law? I remember reading our Prime Minister can declare Marshall law,...
As I was falling asleep with my mouth slightly open because if the congestion when I heard a bee. I can't be sure that it was Abby, but it was certainly louder than an average fly. It might have been an above-average fly. I've seen some really big flies over the past...
When I was first told I'm obcessive I obsessed about it. When I was first told I have A.DD I obsessed about it. When I was first told I had anxiety I obsessed about it. I'm a little messed up now as an adult not really know what kind of crazy I am. He says I might not...
With no clear reason, today was a sad day. It reminded me of the weepy Wednesdays I'd often have after a weekend of ecstasy, but that wasn't the reason this week... Since it's been over 4 weeks since I've done any of that. I just had one of those slumps I used to have...
My thinking has changed a bit since the mind opening DMT-like experience last week. My excusions into thought seem a bit more connected and I like riding out one analogy longer. Today I have changed my norm, and woke up with diferent expereiemces for a Saturday. I...
One if the single line gems if wisdom I keep with me from youth, is that tennis players always like to play against superior players. It's the only way to improve. My negative voice shouts from the back, or your mom said that because you always lost. I did. I always...