The drug is having less effect these days so I have a bit of increased anxiety that doesn’t really go away. Part of it is because August is the third August and I still have the overall feeling I am a dissapointment not pulling my weight and an irritating drain on the moods of the people who live upstairs and provide me with this place to live. I eat their bread and ice cream and fake cheese so they find it gone when they go to have some. I enjoy the meals that are provided frquently, including eating out at restauants, I appear to not think about such things but it’s actually all I think about these days. The alternative is to actually put effort into finding income but my brain and I disagree on matters of effort.